User Tag List

First 45678 Last

Results 51 to 60 of 112

  1. #51
    ByMySword
    Guest

    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by wedekit View Post
    Yeah, I would say that is the most prominent feature of some INFJs (maybe all). Me, I try to focus all of my "imaginating" into things to put into a novel I wish to write. Sometimes I have "AHA!" moments and other times I'm in an imaginating writer's block. I typically find a new interest and get obsessive about it, so I try to at least limit myself to things that will be productive. They always seem to get in the way of my school work no matter what, though. Using the MBTI to characterize characters in writing has been an ongoing obsession for me as of late. I just love making connections with two very unlike things and making it work brilliantly. I wish I could draw; I could make some beautiful artsy things.
    And I was told that being obsessive about my interests was caused by my OCD. I too have the "AHA!" moments AND the imaginating writer's block, so to speak. And always, the thing I'm into most gets in the way of everything else, school included.

  2. #52
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INfj
    Posts
    3,741

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ByMySword View Post
    There are a couple of traits that INFJs have that I don't, I've noticed. While I'm good at being a type of "counselor", I usually don't like to be. Of course, it seems that people are just drawn to me when they have a problem. Don't know what it is that makes them want to confide in me. Now if I really care about that person, then I listen with all out intensity. But if its something that I can't relate to, then its hard for me to care. Of course maybe the caring part isn't the main trait, but rather the ability to seem to care and be able to see into people's problems. If thats the case, then assume the above paragraph null and void. lol
    *shrugs* I think it's good to keep in mind that traits are only general tendencies... you can't expect every single INFJ to act in the same way. It's in our nature (INFJs) to consider ourselves as "unique".

    About the counselor thing... well it's either that people with problems are drawn to us, or that we're drawn to those problems. Hard to see which is correct when you're the participant... it always looks as if the other person is coming at you doesn't it?

    Also, is hiding your true self a trait of INFJs? I didn't think it was. I thought we usually confide in everyone as well. I was reading Alcea Rosea's experience with meeting an INFJ, and felt that in that respect that I was different from her friend. Her friend didn't want people to know her true self. Not me at all. Rather, I want everyone to know the real me, even though sometimes I can confide too much. Many times I bet I put people in the same position that I'm in when people confide in me. So I try to not to do that as much.
    Hiding... when I was young... as in very young, a few years old... I wasn't shy at all.... I'm who I am and I show that to everybody. Then throughout highschool etc the smoke and mirror came. Increase in distance between myself and others. I shared a lot less... because most people either don't understand... or more likely they didn't want to spend the time to understand. So over time I don't bother anymore. It's only now that I see perhaps it's not that people wouldn't understand me... it's just darn difficult with the way I phrase things... too convoluted and not enough substance. Obviously they don't have my memories to make the connections that are seem so blatantly obvious to me. No wonder they couldn't comprehend. So now I try to open up more to people to explain things more clearly.

    I've heard the same experience happened to a few other INFJs here on the forum... Perhaps you were so blessed with linguistic abilities that people understand you readily.

  3. #53
    Highly Hollow Wandering's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    873

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ByMySword View Post
    Of course maybe the caring part isn't the main trait, but rather the ability to seem to care and be able to see into people's problems.
    I guess it's both in varying proportions depending on the person/circumstances. But the thing is: while *we* may know that we don't truly care about someone, *they* don't. On the outside, it can basically look like we care about everyone.

    Also, is hiding your true self a trait of INFJs? I didn't think it was. I thought we usually confide in everyone as well.
    I think we do both at the same time. INFJs can be extremely - even shockingly at times - open, sharing about anything about our lives, and yet at the same time there can be things that we just somehow don't get around to sharing - for years, even with our closest friends.

    Quote Originally Posted by ByMySword View Post
    And always, the thing I'm into most gets in the way of everything else, school included.
    If you ask me, it's everything else that's getting in the way of what truly matters

  4. #54
    ByMySword
    Guest

    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by nightning View Post
    *shrugs* I think it's good to keep in mind that traits are only general tendencies... you can't expect every single INFJ to act in the same way. It's in our nature (INFJs) to consider ourselves as "unique".
    Yeah, I know. I meant it in general. And yes, I do consider myself unique. Probably explains the big ego.

    About the counselor thing... well it's either that people with problems are drawn to us, or that we're drawn to those problems. Hard to see which is correct when you're the participant... it always looks as if the other person is coming at you doesn't it?
    Yeah, it does seem like they come to you, but I know that I've walked right into people telling me about their problems without me even knowing it. I realize it now, but at the time I didn't.

    Hiding... when I was young... as in very young, a few years old... I wasn't shy at all.... I'm who I am and I show that to everybody. Then throughout highschool etc the smoke and mirror came. Increase in distance between myself and others. I shared a lot less... because most people either don't understand... or more likely they didn't want to spend the time to understand. So over time I don't bother anymore. It's only now that I see perhaps it's not that people wouldn't understand me... it's just darn difficult with the way I phrase things... too convoluted and not enough substance. Obviously they don't have my memories to make the connections that are seem so blatantly obvious to me. No wonder they couldn't comprehend. So now I try to open up more to people to explain things more clearly.

    I've heard the same experience happened to a few other INFJs here on the forum... Perhaps you were so blessed with linguistic abilities that people understand you readily.
    When I was young I wasn't shy at all, but as I got older, I learned to prepare my defenses. I was a lot more conscious about being open with people, but because I was immature, I was fooled many times by people who seemed to be my true friends and ended up not being one. Over the years this has happened several times and I've still found myself in the cross-fire even as recent as a couple of years ago. But I'm a lot more wary than I was. And I think now, after my last trial, I've finally come into my own.

    Concerning people being annoyed.....fuck 'em. I know that they'd want me to listen to them, and I would, of course. So by God they better put in their weight understanding me. lol. I never ask anymore of people than what I give them.

  5. #55
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ByMySword View Post
    Also, is hiding your true self a trait of INFJs? I didn't think it was. I thought we usually confide in everyone as well. I was reading Alcea Rosea's experience with meeting an INFJ, and felt that in that respect that I was different from her friend. Her friend didn't want people to know her true self. Not me at all. Rather, I want everyone to know the real me, even though sometimes I can confide too much. Many times I bet I put people in the same position that I'm in when people confide in me. So I try to not to do that as much.
    It's a trait, or I should probably say skill, I could definitely see cultivating if I wasn't in a position to live a pretty sheltered life. My inner self isn't particularly fit for public consumption and my relaxed persona has a tendency to attract parasites. Creating a neutral, boring, public persona would be a logical survival skill.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #56
    ByMySword
    Guest

    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by Wandering View Post
    I guess it's both in varying proportions depending on the person/circumstances. But the thing is: while *we* may know that we don't truly care about someone, *they* don't. On the outside, it can basically look like we care about everyone.
    Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. I don't know if you've seen Nemo's motivitional poster for us on the Picture Death Thread, but we came up with the quote: "Terrorists Who Care".

    Maybe our quote should be: "You Only Think We Care"

    I think we do both at the same time. INFJs can be extremely - even shockingly at times - open, sharing about anything about our lives, and yet at the same time there can be things that we just somehow don't get around to sharing - for years, even with our closest friends.
    I still say things sometimes that my friends claim they didn't know. I'm always so surprised.

    If you ask me, it's everything else that's getting in the way of what truly matters
    Well, that's Gospel, plain and simple.

  7. #57
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INfj
    Posts
    3,741

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ByMySword View Post
    Concerning people being annoyed.....fuck 'em. I know that they'd want me to listen to them, and I would, of course. So by God they better put in their weight understanding me. lol. I never ask anymore of people than what I give them.
    Heh! I try to do the same thing as well... Equal exchanges. It's just so funny that some people don't realize what exactly they were asking of me until I start asking them for a fraction in return. Fair weather friends... no thank you... I guess that's when the shield starting coming up.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Creating a neutral, boring, public persona would be a logical survival skill.
    Nicely put cafe... a survival skill. Too bad we need it to survive... because it prevents you from doing a lot of things too.

  8. #58
    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    694

    Default

    I know that I make a good counselor but I have no wish to be one for other people or as a career. It's stressful to me to have people place all their negativity on your shoulders and expect good advice. I can't deal with that kind of stuff on a regular basis, but I do take concern with my closer friends when they are having problems.

    I think the key to an INFJs counselor abilities is our ability to understand even the darkest parts of our humanity. When I read things like "sociopathic behavior is usually caused by early childhood abuse or neglect", I understand on a deeper level than most. I can go beyond just thinking "oh, they don't have a conscience" and really put myself into their situation and understand their feelings and motives. I really don't know how to explain it beyond that. Of course, with this ability I often fear that because I can do this I have the potential to be this way myself, often worrying that I am a potential child predator or rapist when I clearly know that I would never allow myself do those kind of things. Empathy comes with its price for me in that respect. Sometimes I can let who I am get confused with my ability to understand others.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Enneagram 4w5 social

  9. #59
    ByMySword
    Guest

    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by wedekit View Post
    I think the key to an INFJs counselor abilities is our ability to understand even the darkest parts of our humanity. When I read things like "sociopathic behavior is usually caused by early childhood abuse or neglect", I understand on a deeper level than most. I can go beyond just thinking "oh, they don't have a conscience" and really put myself into their situation and understand their feelings and motives. I really don't know how to explain it beyond that.
    You don't have to. I understand completely. I was explaining to Elfinchilde in my blog about being a movie-buff and being able to emotionally connect to the characters I'm watching. Same goes with friends. I can put myself in their shoes and really see how it feels to walk in them. Sometimes, even if I've never had the same experiences as they have.

    This is a bit off-topic, but I'm big on understanding. Not just myself, but people in general. That's why when I'm debating with someone, I'm really not concerned with winning. I know that neither of us is going to convince the other each is right. I'm more concerned with first understanding where the opposing side is coming from and then having them understand where I'm coming from. If I can do that and they can do that, then I'm perfectly fine with agreeing to disagree. It can be very frusterating, because many times other people don't try to understand at all. They go about it childishly by simply ignoring it or by "hitting below the belt" with an ad hominem argument and the like. That angers me beyond all belief!!!! :steam:

  10. #60
    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    694

    Default

    Yeah, I had a teacher argue with us with the use of a few articles that said that these days college students never argue their opinions or beliefs with teachers anymore. He says we've all adopted this "they have their mind made up so there is no point" ideology. I agree that we do and I don't think it is a bad ideology, but I wanted to argue that I was perfectly willing (and always have been) to listen to the other persons view and understand it fully. For example, I love learning about other people's religions though they are not in concordance with mine simply because I like to understand people in that way.

    I often have to tell people that just because I don't believe something I don't dislike anyone who does. For example, even though I am a vegetarian I don't care if anyone else eats meat. What would be the point in life if all we did was walk around and force our opinions on other people? In fact, I encourage people to eat meat if it makes them happy. It just doesn't make me happy.

    But yeah, I agree; I am big on understanding people as well. I also expect people to try and understand my beliefs if they are preaching to me their's. If they don't I find it infuriating as well.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Enneagram 4w5 social

Similar Threads

  1. [INFJ] How to Locate an INFJ
    By DJAchtundvierzig in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 08-06-2015, 08:42 AM
  2. [INFJ] How to make an INFJ furious...
    By DJAchtundvierzig in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 09-28-2010, 06:09 AM
  3. [INFJ] How to Bother an INFJ
    By paintmuffin in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 110
    Last Post: 08-19-2009, 12:09 AM
  4. [INFJ] How to win an INFJs heart ?
    By entropie in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 06-09-2009, 12:39 PM
  5. [INFJ] How to spot an INFJ?
    By marmandahalf in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 80
    Last Post: 04-30-2009, 09:41 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO