This is my first post, and of course it's about being idealistic and the topic of love.
I am an INFP who has been talking to and, well, kissing, an INTJ for almost two months. He is unbelievably intelligent, and above all else, I adore his intelligence. The fact that he is incredibly attractive doesn't hurt. We have the most amazing conversations, and I get the feeling that he is highly amused by me. He considers me intelligent as well, and I know that he appreciates that quality in me.
He initiated the first conversation, approaching me as soon as I walked into the bar, and asking me if I wanted to throw a chair across the room. His oddness initially intrigued me and somewhat made me retreat into myself a bit until I talked to him more throughout the night and realized he just had an offbeat sense of humor, which I thoroughly enjoy as I'm a bit eccentric as well. Then I warmed up to him, and all kinds of magic happened. We talked all that night and he wouldn't leave my side.
He began texting me on a daily basis, initiating most of the conversations with a "Good morning beautiful!" He took me out for drinks a week later, and came over to my house and hung out one night. I've been to his house a few times in between, and everytime it is with his initiative. On the weekends though, when I've asked him if he wanted to do something and hang out, he would have a reason not to, which would hurt my feelings because I of course was getting attached and wanted to spend time with him. Something in me was telling me I was being kept at arm's length, and I don't know him well enough to know what the reasons could be for that.
I did notice though, on the two occasions that we did hang out on the weekend where it was my idea, I didn't come right out and ask him to be with me. I said, "So and so band is going to be at so and so bar. Hope to see you there!" His response would be, "I'm thinking of making an appearance." And he would.
He seems very aloof at times though, and the texting can go in stages of a daily basis, constantly through the day...or a random text after a few days, asking me how I am.
For some reason, I get the feeling that he is the one who is supposed to initiate things...and conversation/hanging out needs to be his idea. I also get the feeling that he really likes me, finds me attractive, enjoys my company, etc. But at the same time, he seems distant and like he is analyzing everything to make sure it's a good fit.
That's where we are right now. He actually is an Engineer, and left for Mexico this Monday to be to be gone for three weeks for a job assignment there. On Sunday, he wanted me to come over and hang out. He also gave me his plant to take care of while he is gone. I know I'm going to miss him, and I'd like to think that he is going to miss me.
To wrap it up, I just want to ask these three questions:
1. Have you ever been in a relationship with an INTJ?
2. What does it take to woo an INTJ?
3. Does it take awhile for an INTJ to warm up to the idea of a relationship, or does an INTJ think about it for so long that it ends up in limbo?
I feel like there is enormous potential here, and I am being very patient with the process, because I like perfection and want to make sure it's a good fit as well. But his process is definitely more distant than my instinctual process is.