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[INFP] Why do people Hate the idea of being INFP?

CrystalViolet

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Actually I should make this a poll for when the peeps start returning, once I get some answers. (if I remember :cheese: )
When I first found out I was an INFP, I was excited and thought it was coolest type out, then I found out that nobody else thought that way.
What's so terrible/shaming about being INFP?
This may be the idealist in me talking, or maybe my vanity, but what is so terrible about dreamy compassionate people who keep to themselves, unless they feel compelled to do good works?
 

Eluded_One

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It's the idea of reaching limitless horizons, and not being aware of how long and narrow it takes to drop down to do it over again.
 

The_World_As_Will

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I'm curious to know as well, I think INFPs are pretty cool, I relate to you guys (well most of the time), despite the Ti-Fi difference, s'all good

I see nothing wrong with the qualities of INFPs, I think what you guys posses is quite needed in the world, but I'm an odd INTP.


Keep on being awesome INFPs!
 

Oaky

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Ah the INFP. A fantastic type. If they manage to learn to express their inner thoughts to the outer world and ground it physically they can be of one of the most magnificent types achieving magnificent things.
 

Seymour

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It's the idea of reaching limitless horizons, and not being aware of how long and narrow it takes to drop down to do it over again.

I'd agree with that... and expand it out into a few reasons:

  • Frustration with the gap between Fi-honed Ne possibilities and the limitations of reality.
  • A low valuation of core strengths (Fi, esp) in many venues.
  • Inability to clearly to communicate how we know something something is important (Fi reasoning being the hardest form of judging to communicate).
  • Tend to develop any form of Je late, which makes turning our idealism into practical action seem impossible.
I think the above can combine with normal teen/early-adulthood angst about life, love and career to lead to a negative evaluation of being an INFP.

When I first stumbled around the INFP description, I found it very validating. It affirmed were others out there like me, and that my way of seeing the world wasn't broken. I think others can have the opposite reaction, where it becomes a summation of everything they wish they could change about themselves.
 

Rebe

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There are a lot of awful and inaccurate stereotypes about infps (as there are about every single other type) but we may internalize it too much. INFPs are perfectionists and they dwell in their flaws more than their good qualities. It's not them, it's us, whenever we don't want to be an INFP.

Actually, sometimes it is them because we live in a very Te/Se/Fe world. Many things in the world tramples on Fi. The trick is not to let it, to adapt but retain a strong sense of our principles. I am lucky that I have found an outlet for my Fi, a way for the external world to validate my particular strand but when you have Fi that can't be acknowledged as useful by society, it's difficult.
 
G

Glycerine

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It's the same old "personalising and reading into things one can relate to" syndrome. NFPs are the most populous on this forum.
 

Thalassa

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I thought I was an INFP for a while, when I was in high school and I first even found out about MBTI I thought INFP was better than INFJ, and I was surprised that so many people want to be INFJs. I still haven't quite figured out why people want to be INFJs, though I like or even love some INFJs, others are really fucking pretentious and get on my last nerve.

I could say similar things about other types - some ISFJs are cool, and others are too conformist. Some INTJs are funny and smart, and others are irritating stupid dorks. As for INFPs, while I love some, others are really whiny and overly passive.

I'm an ENFP and I know I don't think every ENFP in the world is wonderful, in fact, some of them are really obnoxious (I can be obnoxious myself).

In sum, people suck, and it's silly to believe everyone is out specifically to fuck with your type.
 

Oaky

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I thought I was an INFP for a while, when I was in high school and I first even found out about MBTI I thought INFP was better than INFJ, and I was surprised that so many people want to be INFJs. I still haven't quite figured out why people want to be INFJs, though I like or even love some INFJs, others are really fucking pretentious and get on my last nerve.
Apart from the INFJs being statistically the rarest type (unique factor) they have that particular stereotype of being the wise old lady or man that knows how to deal with almost everything emotionally as well as efficiently in the mature fashion. I suppose many believe the INFJ moves towards that persona and so they want to be it themselves.
 

prplchknz

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because some INFPs suck and people are exposed to the sucky ones, while the cool ones like us get shunned and no one ever knows us because we've been exiled.
 

Thalassa

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Apart from the INFJs being statistically the rarest type (unique factor) they have that particular stereotype of being the wise old lady or man that knows how to deal with almost everything emotionally as well as efficiently in the mature fashion. I suppose many believe the INFJ moves towards that persona and so they want to be it themselves.

I really don't like INFJ being equated with maturity. It's one of the things I find annoying about INFJ - like "oh Fe is so mature." No, no ...mature Fe is mature. INFJs do have a gift of counseling others, yes, but there are also Fi, Se, Te, Si, Ti, Ne ways of being "mature."

Hipster INFJs are like the opposite of mature. They are some of the most self-congratulatory pretentious douchebags on the planet. They're like the emo version of the INTJ who thinks he's always right and the rest of the world consists of mere plebeians.

If INFJ is the measuring stick for "maturity" then Fi in any form, unless it's mimicking Fe, will always be perceived as "immature." How gauche.
 

Queen Kat

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Because it's fucking depressing, that's why. This was Queen Kat for Obvious Channel News, back to the studio.
 

Oaky

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I really don't like INFJ being equated with maturity. It's one of the things I find annoying about INFJ - like "oh Fe is so mature." No, no ...mature Fe is mature. INFJs do have a gift of counseling others, yes, but there are also Fi, Se, Te, Si, Ti, Ne ways of being "mature."

Hipster INFJs are like the opposite of mature. They are some of the most self-congratulatory pretentious douchebags on the planet. They're like the emo version of the INTJ who thinks he's always right and the rest of the world consists of mere plebians.

If INFJ is the measuring stick for "maturity" then Fi in any form, unless it's mimicking Fe, will always be perceived as "immature." How gauche.
Oh yes. I agree. Within each type there tends to be different implementations of each of the functions towards the outer and inner worlds. This is why stereotypes are useless in trying to define a certain mbti type. Of course it's what always clouds the perceptions of others who like to place themselves within a particular view of each particular type and that creates the ignorance of not understanding what a type really is about.
I would think INFJs tend to have the fewest stereotypes of all the types and rarely any negative ones in difference to all the other types. I suppose it's best to show them in the truest light by showing how Fe works for them after the Ni perceptions and why it may not always give them the best wisdom.
 

Eluded_One

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I really don't like INFJ being equated with maturity. It's one of the things I find annoying about INFJ - like "oh Fe is so mature." No, no ...mature Fe is mature. INFJs do have a gift of counseling others, yes, but there are also Fi, Se, Te, Si, Ti, Ne ways of being "mature."

Hipster INFJs are like the opposite of mature. They are some of the most self-congratulatory pretentious douchebags on the planet. They're like the emo version of the INTJ who thinks he's always right and the rest of the world consists of mere plebeians.

If INFJ is the measuring stick for "maturity" then Fi in any form, unless it's mimicking Fe, will always be perceived as "immature." How gauche.

Although this topic is getting derailed - at least it is due in good fun. I concur on your comments. There's nothing mature about being too certain to the extent of negating all opposing opinions. Only if it were true that being wise equated with being vague and complicated, which somehow translates to being enlightened. If it were unquestioned that wisdom is sought through one-way tunnels and shallow hills. A more *mature INFJ* would see otherwise.
 

Santosha

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I've never noticed people having problems with INFP's IRL, so I don't understand where this stereo type comes from. Maybe for people just looking at the theory description, not applying it to real life people, they would see the INFP as being too sensitive, emo-ish, critical of anything outside of their value system, and too 'pie in the sky' impractical. However, the INFP's I know IRL are very open-minded, accepting, and function quite well with reality. So, who knows what the deal is. Screw them for not liking INFP's. Screw them in their silly, silly face.
 

Viridian

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I guess they think being INFP means forever feeling like a misfit... Or a bum. :wink: And maybe they've had experiences with pretentious or temperamental INFPs before...

Maybe some of them even envy them, because they're supposed to be so pure and ethical and peaceful and nonconformistic and stress-free and whatnot... I'm just guessing.
 

OrangeAppled

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I'd agree with that... and expand it out into a few reasons:

  • Frustration with the gap between Fi-honed Ne possibilities and the limitations of reality.
  • A low valuation of core strengths (Fi, esp) in many venues.
  • Inability to clearly to communicate how we know something something is important (Fi reasoning being the hardest form of judging to communicate).
  • Tend to develop any form of Je late, which makes turning our idealism into practical action seem impossible.
I think the above can combine with normal teen/early-adulthood angst about life, love and career to lead to a negative evaluation of being an INFP.

When I first stumbled around the INFP description, I found it very validating. It affirmed were others out there like me, and that my way of seeing the world wasn't broken. I think others can have the opposite reaction, where it becomes a summation of everything they wish they could change about themselves.

I think this hits the nail on the head & sums it all up.

It seems most of the INFPs who hate being INFP are teens, in the worst phase to be an INFP, IMO. It's the age when reality really hits you in the face, but you don't have the ability to take control just yet & deal with it in your own INFP way.

I first tested INFP as an adult, and I too found it a relief. As a teen, I did not identify with INFP, & I tested INTP, which was not a great fit either. That left me feeling more alienated. I wonder if this is the case with some INFPs who have yet to see themselves in type descriptions, especially as the teen years can make you less than balanced personality-wise. INFP may be the best fit of the 16, and yet, it's still too much fluffy bunny, which leaves you feeling even more misunderstood.

I've never noticed people having problems with INFP's IRL, so I don't understand where this stereo type comes from. Maybe for people just looking at the theory description, not applying it to real life people, they would see the INFP as being too sensitive, emo-ish, critical of anything outside of their value system, and too 'pie in the sky' impractical. However, the INFP's I know IRL are very open-minded, accepting, and function quite well with reality. So, who knows what the deal is. Screw them for not liking INFP's. Screw them in their silly, silly face.

Some of it is also the "INFP square peg in a round ESTJ world" aspect. Our natural strengths are not valued as much as many other types. Je associated qualities seem most valued in the USA anyway. So on paper, INFPs sound like people with major flaws & frivolous strengths. I agree that people read profiles & imagine something that most INFPs aren't (often missing key points too; most seem to forget the whole value-motivating factor). The profiles are caricatures also, meaning they are not representative of a whole, balanced, complex, real person.

In reality, I am not necessarily treated as some inferior. I don't find myself being viewed as the opposite to the ideal personality, although I am still a square peg. Instead, I find people a bit perplexed about how I navigate through life, sometimes in an admiring way. It doesn't make sense to them, but it seems to work for me. At worst, I am dismissed as odd or silly.

Anyway, some INFPs pick up on the fact that their qualities are seen as inferior on paper, and it gets to their self-esteem. It becomes something of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
 

CrystalViolet

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Don't get me wrong, I'm not having a "why does the world hate us" crisis. I maybe a tiny bit perturbed at the "why did god smite me" attitude I found else where, and I'm also a little guilty of using emotive language when I don't really feel that strongly. I think OA is right, being a teen INFP is hardest, but then being a teen generally sucks, no matter what type you are.
So I'm not really internalising, in fact I'm feeling rather good about my INFP self, I was just curious about what other people thought. It's definitely easier being a INFP in your 30's.

My thoughts on the matter are;
The type descriptions tend to make us sound more passive than we actually are. As much as the imagery of being a dreamy princess tickes me, I'm a fairly practical person in reality with some silly moments thrown in.

Yes, the communication thang. Haven't mastered it yet. It's a source of frustration for all parties. It some times still hurts to be misunderstood, and I'm not particularly stoic about showing my hurt.

The biggest thing is our sensitivity. It is frowned upon. I still have people wanting to "cure me". (if I haven't been cured by now, I think it's there to stay) For all that, I have proved time and time again, I'm much more resilent emotionally. I reset to optimistic/idealistic far quicker than most (I do wonder if this is actually a flaw of mine), but according to certain peeps I still need to harden up, even though that sensitivity is used to their advantage. Yes, certain aspects of my sensitivity are very advantageous for me. It's a double edge sword though, but I wouldn't give it up now.
 

KDude

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My teens were hell internally, but I got by experimenting with a side of myself that was less "sensitive" or what have you. That, or I benefited from the occassional fight... which, in turn, were overly exagerrated by others, thereby giving people the impression that I wasn't worth the trouble.

In a way, adulthood is a little tougher. My ideals are more developed, but at the same time, that seperates me in more ways.
 

ayoitsStepho

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Meh, probably because INFPs tend to kinda smell like beef jerky.
 
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