Oh, INFPs are great.
I really really really (emphasis) can't relate to their decision making process but all the ones I met were fun, smart and kind .
And their Fi dom faces are so adorable that it makes me wanna hug them.
A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '
Yeah, I agree with a lot of what's been said. I will add that, for the INFP male, things get better as you go through life, in pretty much all ways.
About INFP profiles: Don't take them to heart. They are somewhat accurate in the broad strokes, but they are wildly off in the particulars. don't treat them like an identity, because they are not. You are you, no matter what.
I have learned that 'sensitivity' is considered a bad word in our culture. I prefer to say that i'm perceptive. I perceive things about people and the world, and some of those things have an emotional component. Through the kind words of others, I've come to see this as a positive force in my life and the lives of others.
Am I emotional? Yes. More than others? In a way. I'm more in touch with my emotions in some ways, and I won't apologize for that. Now I consider it a gift, one that brings with it a sensitivity to aesthetics and music, and an ability to see patterns that others may not see. On the other hand, I've suppressed bad experiences, just like anyone would.
So don't get hung up on what the label means. It's not telling of anything that matters in the world. You can figure out who you are without it.
I don't see how anyone who wasn't a complete ignoramous could not like an INFP. everything they say and do is so beautiful and poetic and they're so pure. they're so mysterious sometimes that they almost seem like they're straight out of a fairytale. haterz gon' hate, but I love my INFPs
Are you clinically insane? EVERYTHING THEY SAY AND DO IS BEAUTIFUL AND POETIC?
They're just people bro. They take shits and get in cranky moods. Settle down.
"Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul." - Edward Abbey
I've never had a problem with being an INFP. I figured this out many years ago and I actually kind of always liked the descriptions of an INFP. I was even forgiving and accepting of the INFP weaknesses and bad qualities we are said to have. However, I'm not sure that most people see me as INFP and, I have met a few that in my opinion, probably give other INFPs a bad name. I think those are the ones that bask in their own insecurities and wallow in sadness and feed into delusions.
The second major category in my mind is the general lack of "societal place/value" for our strongest skills. Sure being a great friend is a great thing, but how are you going to "sell" that, or "socially package/express" that, or use it to contribute to some companies bottom line??? Your personal life might be really great, and many people may really like and respect you, but professionally and "in societies eyes" I think its much harder to find outlets or expressions for that. For example, our computer programmer INFP's get paid to [I assume] do computer programming, not to motivationally inspire their coworkers. Personally, I get paid to run research machines, not to "express my feelings." I'm sure that non-T non-NT non-TJ workplaces are more "personable" and "interactive", but these general factors still apply there too I'm sure. Make no bones about it, business is a TJ [arguably ESTJ] environment, and virtually every job out there is, in some way shape or form, "business."
Yes, the business world does not seem made for INFPs. Even if we can succeed in it (and I think that's very possible), we're often not happy in it.
This reminds me of some conversations I had w/my mom. When I was younger I always wanted to be some kind of visual artist, but I was always looking to see how I could translate that into a paying job (graphic design? architecture?). I'd note that art is not valued because it doesn't contribute to any need. Well, my ISFJ mom would say that it contributes something very important, very much needed in the world (enriching the human experience, highlighting truth, etc), but I meant the bottom line, pragmatic needs that generate income. People value many INFP associated strengths, but they don't assign monetary value to it. Frankly, I don't think you can. I think in some way, people do recognize that it corrupts the value to view it in monetary terms. I mean, they just see you as a sell-out if they have to pay you for something that should be "above" a service transaction.
But, I don't want to hear that when I need to pay my rent & eat .
Originally Posted by William K
To further expand Scott's point about coolness and societal value of skills, how do you define a person who is a "successful" INFP? Who are the role models and did they succeed because of their INFPness or because they conformed to the norm despite their INFPness?
When it comes to famous INFPs, I tend to identify success in terms of artistic success. The problem is, this does not necessarily mean personal success, or happiness. Often these people were/are a disaster on a personal level. I think Van Gogh was INFP. His art is a success now, but even if his art was a success when he was alive, would he have reached personal success? I just don't think his mindset was stable enough. He was fundamentally unhappy with life, and no amount of artistic success would've changed that; it went beyond his art. So identifying successful INFPs in terms of happiness is a lot harder. They're probably less conspicuous.
And don't even get me started on how celebrities are not role models....If you're looking for happy, stable people, then you should not look to most famous people, IMO.
One issue especially with the e4 INFPs is that we tend to want to live life according to our own terms, and doing that is much easier in the latter stages of life when we already have some stability in terms of a career and family. So it's sort of a chicken and egg problem. You can't be free to be INFP unless you have built a life by suppressing those INFP tendencies. Before I get jumped on, I'm not saying that INFPs have it harder than any other types. Just different challenges that society as a whole tend to misunderstand.
Maybe I'm being idealistic (what are the odds of that?), but I'd like to see it as not so much compromising oneself, but expanding what your ideals mean in reality. I think a stable, productive INFP sees many ways to reach a core ideal, and so they are less restricted, making so-called "compromises" a non-threat to their identity. Instead, these "compromises" just become different avenues than you previously thought you could take to reach your ideals. The ideals are less narrow, less rigid, more adaptable, which makes them easier to fulfill in reality.
Also, what seems like whining and self-hating in a forum like this can actually be an INFP's way of just expressing himself/herself given the anonymity of the Internet.
It's hard to get across to others why INFPs vent a lot online....90% of the time we're listening to other people vent in person. I'm a listener, a "healer", not a whiner.
Originally Posted by KDude
Yeah, but we make taking a shit and being cranky look beautiful and poetic too.
I know this is humorous, but relating this idea to William's above, I think this is a conflict some INFPs may experience (especially e4s): Does being "successful" mean being a successful artist (not even literally an artist) or being happy?
Is it better to live poetically, but be miserable, than to be happy, but not live very poetically? Of course, a person can do both, but it's harder to find examples of these INFPs, because IRL we don't come across each other that much. Looking at famous people doesn't help; they seem to usually be the former kind.
"Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself. But it's always with love - So much love it looks like everything else. Charlotte Sometimes - So far away, glass sealed and pretty." - The Cure
I don't know actually. When I think of an INFP, I think i would like them a lot. They SOUND like wonderful people. Then I meet a few. And I hate them after like one conversation. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!!!! For me, maybe it's because we're so similar... yet I don't hate ENFPS when I meet them. Huh.
Maybe it's because INFPs don't come off as all that warm/genuine/fun in person? Like, "I love you I love I love I love you... I'M IN MY EMO CORNER GO AWAY!!! RAWR!!!" At least, that's what I got out of interactions...