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  1. #1
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    Default When did you move out to live on your own?

    I know some who moved out very young, under eighteen because of various reasons. One being that they did not get along with their parent. I know some who choose to live with their parent or parents, to save money or because they have no money. They are in their mid twenties but they don't believe that it's terrible to still live with their parents after high school.

    I live in NY so the rent is considerably expensive. I partially understand why someone would want to live with their family to save money on rent. I have wanted to move out since I was in high school and I never planned to return back to my home town. I do not get along with my mom at all and I am not close with my dad.

    I recognize the practical aspect of living with my parents for a few more months, maybe even a year. I cannot tolerate a year, but I could a few months if there is a good reason for me to. I have lived with them for a year and a half after I left college abruptly my sophomore year.

    I just can't figure out if my reason is good enough to stay or to leave. My issues with my mother has been going on for years and there is nothing I can do to immediately or even slowly fix it. I have given up, pretty much. I love her and I can tolerate her in small doses. But that's it. Living with her is a nightmare. Her presence in my life is disabling, sometimes straight up emotionally abusive. I am not a wimp and I am tough so I won't crumble, but I feel that it's not something that I should have to deal with any longer, in any extend.

    I am old enough to move out, even if money will be very tight, even if it's "impractical". I have spoke to some of my friends about this, one of them thinks it is extremely impractical and I should just save money right now to move out later or even not at all until I have finished college. The other one is very encouraging.

  2. #2
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    INFP's have trouble letting go, even when they should.

  3. #3
    violaine
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    I first moved out at 17 1/2 for about a year. I was a little too young (inexperienced) to handle all of the responsibilities. Mostly in terms of being around people who were a little older and wilder than I was. I moved back home but was never able to relax about living back there even though I loved my family a lot. Needed to be out making my own way in the world. I moved again just before I turned 20.

    Your post makes it sound like you are ready to go. I would try to separate my needs from any guilt for leaving if I were you. Might make your path a little clearer. Parents always have a hard time letting go, even when they know it's best for you. It's good to strike out on one's own. Most everyone has to do it one day. My cousin waited until her late 20s and it made it very difficult for her to have her own life. If money is tight, could you live with a larger number of roommates for a while?

  4. #4
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    I moved out when I was 19...roommates can be just as annoying TRUST! I have even had a few broken friendships unfortunately because of roommate issues. Maybe try to tune your mom out, just know that she is who she is and dont let her bother you so much . Your lucky to be able to save some money living in the big city . Tons of people out there dont have that luxury and envy others who do.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  5. #5
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    I moved out of home when I was 17. It was hard at first, then I found my feet. I never regretted it. However I moved to a place that was fairly cheap to live, and I moved to a university town (for Uni, of course,) where every one around me was making the transition away from home. It made easier and harder, LOL.
    You can always come back home if it doesn't work out, but truth is I never regretted moving out so young. Freedom is an amazing thing. Being able to think for yourself is another great thing. Just be prepared it is hard bugdetary wise. Really hard, but you don't have to worry what your mother will say when you spend the night at your boyfriends, or drink a little too much etc. etc.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #6
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    14 apart from family, 16 on my own.

    Though I don't recommend it.

  7. #7
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Moved when I was 17 to go to university, although I often came home on weekends. Have lived with my parents during the summers though for most of my life and we get along well. I realize that doesn't work for everyone, but it's been really nice to get to know and become good friends with my parents as an adult.

  8. #8
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Moved when I was 16 to get away from bad family life. Though the move was right for me, the decision was entirely prerational and only now am I really understanding what was going on back then. Only you can tell how much it is worth it to strike out on your own. Find a way to not sacrifice your future in the process.

  9. #9
    Phantonym
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    Heh, I moved out on my 23 birthday. Cushy place and with a house full of introverts, we hardly saw each other. I'd probably still be living there if I hadn't moved to another city. There's no place like a home of your own, that's for sure.

    My parents turned my room into a study like the second I moved out, though.

  10. #10
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    I moved out at the grand old age of 22. Alas, I had the house to myself for roughly 5+ years beforehand.

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