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Thread: How is your compassion?

  1. #1
    Señora Member Array Elfa's Avatar
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    Jan 2011

    Default How is your compassion?

    Are you compassionate towards yourself? It may be easy to treat someone else with love and understanding, but how is it when is about your own fails, sufferings and flaws? Do you treat yourself kindly, with understanding and love, or do you put yourself down and turn on your self-critical voice in your head?

    Self-compassion is different from self-pity - this one many people are afraid of, and, when they mistake compassion for pity, people leave compassion out of use. Self-compassion is "simply" turning one's compassion to oneself, and has three basic ingredients: self-kindness, that is being kind and warm towards oneself; common-humanity, that is recognizing that your pain and imperfections are part of the human experience; and mindfulness, that is a non-judgemental stance towards emotions, in a balanced and not extreme way.

    Here you can test your level of self-compassion!
    Test how self-compassionate you are | Kristin Neff

    And here is my Overall score: 1.70
    That's not very good... but I'm working on it.

    Say what you think! I would love to read opinions!
    Last edited by Elfa; 05-06-2011 at 03:56 AM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Array KDude's Avatar
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    Jan 2010



    Yeah, I know my flaws well... The one positive I can get out of it is it helps being compassionate towards others (not that I'm bragging about that.. it just helps). Although, I can lack compassion if someone starts griping on a generalized level. That annoys me. If I encounter someone drowning in negativity, they should have reasons for it (even if those reasons seem blown out of proportion, it helps me understand them. I just don't want to hear any existential crap. People like that seem to be willingly hopping on some emo train.. Hell, some even make money from it).

  3. #3
    Uniqueorn Array William K's Avatar
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    Aug 2009


    Hmmm, when I first saw this thread I read the title as "How is your comprehension?" and didn't understand what it was asking...

    Anyway, 3.94!? Ok, so lately I've been trying to be less harsh on myself. Guess it's working out. Might have to do this test again when I'm in a worse mood though
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  4. #4
    Lungs & Lips Locked Array Unkindloving's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009


    Self-Kindness: 3.40
    Self-Judgment: 2.40
    Common Humanity: 3.75
    Isolation: 3.00
    Mindfulness: 3.75
    Over-Identification: 2.75
    Overall score: 3.46

    I tend to bottle up aspects of my emotional self, even from myself, because there are a number of times when I feel I need to be the pillar. It's not to sell myself short, and it actually has an air of omnipotence in relation to other people and their emotions, but it does leave me deprived of the usual level of openness and coping mechanism that people are readily willing to use. Same token, I notice a lot of those people who have the openness aren't versed in the coping aspect, and end up having less compassion toward themselves in the end.
    If I'm feeling down, I'll try to rationalize it. I will acknowledge that many people have worse issues, but at the same time acknowledge that I need to allow for my emotions at times since they are my own and equally as important, regardless of the gravity of situation I deal with vs others. Etc. Course I genuinely like who I am, am a firm believer in self-awareness/self in general, and have gotten fairly far out of the "I'm A Burden" phase of life lol.
    I approve of this thread, heaps .
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man

    .:: DWTWD ::.

    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  5. #5
    Diving into Ni-space Array Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Mar 2011


    Self-Kindness: 1.40
    Self-Judgment: 3.60
    Common Humanity: 1.75
    Isolation: 4.75
    Mindfulness: 2.25
    Over-Identification: 5.00
    Overall score: 1.68

    I suppose I need to work on treating myself better more than I've expected.

  6. #6
    No Array Thalassa's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    6w7 sx
    SEE Fi


    Apparently I love me, but I judge myself quite a bit.

    Self-Kindness: 4.00
    Self-Judgment: 2.40
    Common Humanity: 4.25
    Isolation: 3.25
    Mindfulness: 2.50
    Over-Identification: 3.75
    Overall score: 3.23
    "Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul." - Edward Abbey

    SEE-Fi /Gamma

  7. #7
    Symbolic Herald Array
    Join Date
    Feb 2010


    Isolation: 4.75
    Over-Identification: 3.25
    Self-Judgment: 2.80

    Mindfulness: 3.50
    Common Humanity: 3.25
    Self-Kindness: 2.80

    Overall score: 2.79 (2.5-3.5 indicates you are moderate)

  8. #8
    Senor Membrane Array
    Join Date
    May 2008


    I tried to fill it up, but I couldn't. Main reason:

    When things are going badly for me, I see the difficulties as part of life that everyone goes through.
    When I'm down and out, I remind myself that there are lots of other people in the world feeling like I am.
    When I feel inadequate in some way, I try to remind myself that feelings of inadequacy are shared by most people.
    I really don't see anything positive in comforting myself with the fact that so many people all over the world are is serious pain right now. I get the point, yeah, I should see that I am not the ONLY ONE suffering, but it just seems wrong to ease my pain with the fact that there is pain all over.

    This is weird too:
    When I think about my inadequacies, it tends to make me feel more separate and cut off from the rest of the world.
    I feel separate from the society even if I'm happy.

    I try to be loving towards myself when I'm feeling emotional pain.
    What does that mean?

  9. #9


    Self-Kindness: 3.40
    Self-Judgment: 1.80
    Common Humanity: 2.75
    Isolation: 3.50
    Mindfulness: 4.75
    Over-Identification: 2.00
    Overall score: 3.60

  10. #10
    Lay the coin on my tongue Array SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    6w5 sp/sx


    Self-Kindness: 3.20
    Self-Judgment: 2.60
    Common Humanity: 3.50
    Isolation: 4.00
    Mindfulness: 3.25
    Over-Identification: 4.25
    Overall score: 2.85

    Probably about what I would have expected or a little better. Seems I have a tendency to feel very isolated when things go badly, and to view one bad thing as a pattern of all the bad things that have happened in my life or not gone as I hoped. Pretty much what I thought!
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


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