People are annoying. Welcome to the human race.
hah. i like this.
INTP said:
i think one reason for this is that they are insecure(or are naturally prone to insecurity) inside by default (insecure about whether they are flawed on something or not). so its the same reason why they need alot of affirmation from others for them to feel good about themselves and forget/fight the insecurities coming from inside. if they would express more negative things about themselves(their insecurities), those things would start to feel more real to them, since they would lose the viewpoint of balancing themselves with positive things, that is if they wouldnt get enough quality affirmation about them.
like whats going on in their heads is what defines them(to them) and if they focus too much on negative things, they feel like crap, so they need to focus on positive things as much as they can to balance the tendency to feel insecure about themselves. this also leads to the need for positive affirmation from others.
i think its an aux Fi thing. aux function is prone to insecurity(but not that much that it cant be corrected), its same with my Ne. i cant trust my Ne the same way as Ne doms do, im always doubting it and need to rationalize the patterns i see with Ne(check that they are consistent when i look at them with rational thinking), by using my Ti.
and yes, ENFPs do recognize some of their faults and accept them, but that just makes them need more positive things. from self expression or positive affirmation from others. [...]
or maybe im not able to think this through completely and get to false conclusions because i just woke up. anyone agree with this?
this is probably true. one thing that's a pain in the ass about being an ExxP is that we're very environmentally susceptible. i know some people who can hear a bunch of crap going on in their environment and hardly blink. me, on the other hand, i get all out of sorts. so putting positivity into the environment is definitely a good thing in my mind.
i think you're mostly right about Fi, also. personally, i'm not as secure or grounded in it as IFPs are, and so when i feel disconnected from it, sometimes my self-worth is negatively affected. it also clashes with Te, sometimes, and that's a hard struggle. Fi has been derided as a useless, whiny emo function, and like vala pointed out, sometimes ENFP strengths aren't always well-appreciated IRL. certainly they're not explicitly praised, like ENTJ's ability to get things done, ESFJ's warmth and practicality, or ISTP's badassery. we're more nebulous, i think. but, being EFs, we want to connect with others, so it's not like we can just not care. also, being an extravert, when i'm alone for too long, nasty thoughts begin circulating in me. i don't really know why, but i need others to help open me up, or i start ruminative negative thinking. i think it's got something to do with being insanely bored, wanting something to do, and realizing that i have x-and-so problem to solve - except it's usually one of my own personal problems, and then i spend all my time thinking about it, and then i feel down on myself. so i could sort of see making one of these threads after feeling like that.
i figure there are some ENFP e7s for who this is less true, but i do also think that ENFPs spend a lot more time thinking about negatives and their own weaknesses than most people would guess. we tend to project happiness and light outside but inside we're also rather serious and heavy...
i also theoretically believe that all things have equal opposites. for every negative ENFP quality, there's a positive; for every positive, a shadow side. what we choose to capitalize on is up to us, but there's no denying the duality. so even in your example...
dumb ENFP said:
ENFPs are so accepting of other people. Personally, I never judge others and I'm always very supportive and loving towards everyone. I'm also a very encouraging person.
response to ENFP: great, so you're accepting of others. you're probably also blind to their flaws and how they could be corrected if they weren't just readily overlooked. you never judge others? i would not trust you in any sort of leadership position. you're always very supportive and loving towards everyone, that's good, but i wonder if your motives are completely altruistic. you're encouraging - well that can be really annoying sometimes. and it's not like you're actually being productive, you're just trying to get others to be productive.
do you see what i mean? like... maybe it seems like idiotic unweighted positives... but i don't see why that's necessarily the case. saying that there is blue in a rainbow doesn't negate the possibility of there being orange in it, also. saying that ENFPs are supportive and loving doesn't negate that they could also be reactive and non-committal. it actually often points you
towards negatives, if you're paying close attention.
Vala Faye said:
I'd like to add that perhaps it happens also partly coz ENFP positive traits tend to be not valued economically as much as some other types out there. At least, that was what it feels like to me. It sometimes feels as if they get taken for granted, kinda like just being frosting. I personally was happy to discover my type coz it finally gave me a clue as to understand which strengths I had. I had no clue, before, as in my environment, my specific set of skills is just shrugged at. It made me feel useless. When you then discover those strengths and a place where you are in fact free to discuss them ( to, amongst others, develop them further), combined with the typical ENFP bluntness and enthusiasm....
Don't get me wrong, I also instantly recognized the flaws and felt relieved not to be the only one stuck with those
Those also get discussed, but perhaps with less exuberance, and get their own topics, in order to learn how to properly deal with them.
It was nice to see them named, to have something to point you in the right direction, identify them and actively work at it
yes yes yes yes yes yes
in my experience, i get a lot of crap for being spacey or overly emotional at times, and then people are just mystified when i quickly get to the bottom of their personal problem, guide them from depressive bawling to a state of empowerment, get their entire entertainment system working again, streamline workplace methods for efficiency, effectively translate for them, or loophole their way out of a huge mess. somehow they don't put two and two together, and see that i'm not zoning out, i'm
thinking, and i'm not just being overly emotional, i'm pushing my own introspection and discovering intrapersonal aspects that will be useful for both internal and external application in the future. of course i'm not all awesome and great, i have a lot of really stupid weaknesses, but sometimes i feel like i'm simultaneously taken as a fluffball and as a highly competent problem solver. while most of the time i revel in that, because it's fun to be lighthearted and happy and then knock the socks off someone, it's also sort of a pain in the ass to often not be taken seriously for my strengths until people see the end results of them. so yeah... it's really nice to discuss those strengths with others who also understand and appreciate them as something steady and static despite seeming incompatibilities, and who are willing to see me, up front, with the huge contradictory complexities that my being includes.