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  1. #1
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    Default Why do ENFPs on the forums always talk about their good qualities?

    One thing I've noticed on just about every MBTI forum i've been to is that out of all the types ENFPs really love pointing out all their good qualities. Actually, ENFJs do it too, but I'm just wondering why you guys are always talking about yourselves? I know this is going to sound like a troll post and I really don't mean for it to sound that way, but its a trend that i've noticed on every single forum ive gone to.

    An example of what I mean would be an enfp making a post like this: "ENFPs are so accepting of other people. Personally, I never judge others and I'm always very supportive and loving towards everyone. I'm also a very encouraging person."
    Tell me you haven't seen a million of those kinds of posts. It kind of comes of as self-promotion or something.

    I'm honestly just wondering why. Is it a form of self-expression or something?

    Oh, and i should also add that I rarely encounter this kind of behavior in real life, so maybe its just an internet thing. ?

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    ENFPs relate to other people through sharing their own experiences. This can annoy the crap out of Fe users, especially, I think, because we "bond" through saying "yes, this happened to me, and I relate to you because of my own experience."

    We're also story-tellers to a degree...but then again, so is my ESFP mother. The primary difference between she and I is that she'll corner you and tell you stories on the phone or in person, and I post my shit all over the Internet, and in creative writing.

    ENFPs are also self-promoting by nature, I think.

    However, I do think some NFs are delusional like "ENFPs do no wrong" or "INFJs are always so mature and self-restrained and lady-like" or something. Being an NF myself I notice it, and think it's bad when NFs can't admit they have flaws.

    I have flaws. Terrible flaws. But then I tend to wear them like a badge in some hideous caricature of myself, in the form of self-deprecating humor, to make myself laugh.

    ENFPs are like the most extroverted self-absorbed people you'll ever meet. I'm sorry.

  3. #3
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    i can name you a distinct few who do this with fair regularity and a large majority who don't... i imagine this pattern carries over throughout boards. fwiw, as an ENFP, the example post makes me cringe because "i never judge others" is obviously a blatant lie. i've seen that type of blanket exaggeration from ENFPs and it's embarrassing to me to be associated with that. maybe others feel a desire to self-express like that, but for me self-expression comes out more in my avatar or my sig than in my thread-making.

    incidentally - there's a similar pattern with INTPs who are convinced that they've figured [something] out and they're out to prove everyone who doesn't agree with them is an idiot. i feel like most types probably have their little thread-making quirks.

    on the other hand, personality typing involves lots of self-analysis, and i don't see why it wouldn't be legitimate to talk about our positive aspects as well as our negative ones. i like my type and think it has a lot of strengths, and it's interesting to see how other ENFPs experience things.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie
    ENFPs relate to other people through sharing their own experiences.


    as far as i see it, the assumption is that if you relate, you'll add your opinion to the conversation too. it's literally an open forum of ideas. talking about oneself in my eyes is not about navel-gazing so much as it's about sharing, communing, learning, and understanding. like marm said, Fe doms don't get this sometimes, they'll think you're wrapped up in yourself, when the truth is that actually you would love for the other person to share too, but you can't speak for them. you don't want to direct or lead others' own self-expression, so you throw something about yourself out there and see if they relate. ideally they will latch onto some part of what you're saying, relate, connect, and expound. then the conversation will run fluidly accordingly.

    i wonder if it's not a Ne thing in part - like, we assume that others will seek to connect their own experience or understanding to ours. it seems very natural to throw an idea out there and just go. i mean, even in your example, there's a lot of info to talk about. you could talk about acceptance, ENFPs being dumb, judgment, support, love, encouragement, how those things go together, how they're different, where your strengths lie in comparison, etc....

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    see, thats why i was saying i think it could just be an internet thing and not necessarily a type thing. ive never really heard people talk like that in real life (unless they were just insecure people), and i have a feeling that more insecure people do tend to gravitate towards internet forums than secure people. im definately NOT saying that all enfps are like this, but its the trend ive noticed. i also have a theory that insecure people are more likely to score NF on the tests just because when a person is insecure they are much more sensitive and in touch with their own and everyone else's emotions. so again, maybe its not an actual ENFP or ENFJ thing but an insecure thing or an internet thing. hopefully that makes sense.

    and just so you guys know, i also relate to people by sharing experiences that relate to theirs. i was asking more about blatantly stating their good qualities than sharing stories or relating to people.

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    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ISFPeaceOut View Post
    One thing I've noticed on just about every MBTI forum i've been to is that out of all the types ENFPs really love pointing out all their good qualities. Actually, ENFJs do it too, but I'm just wondering why you guys are always talking about yourselves? I know this is going to sound like a troll post and I really don't mean for it to sound that way, but its a trend that i've noticed on every single forum ive gone to.
    I think ENFPs tend to be natural optimists so I'm not surprised that this extends to describing themselves, seeing their good points. To be fair though, I've seen plently of ENFPs speak of their weaknesses. I'm disorganized, I procrastinate, I'm bad with details, I'm not good with logical stuff, I'm hypersensitive, etc.

    I also think some ENFPs, feel a sense of shame about their not so good qualities. They're well aware of them but prefer not to share them, feeling that its too personal, unless they know you well and trust you.
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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by ISFPeaceOut View Post
    i have a feeling that more insecure people do tend to gravitate towards internet forums than secure people. im definately NOT saying that all enfps are like this, but its the trend ive noticed. i also have a theory that insecure people are more likely to score NF on the tests just because when a person is insecure they are much more sensitive

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    what i'm saying is that insecure people gravitate to internet forums as a place to vent, be themselves, or not have to be judged a lot of the time AND that its easier to score NF when you're depressed/insecure because you are in a more sensitive and deep thinking state at that time. thus, some of the people who point out all their good qualities in the self-promoting way that I menttioned, may not even be ENFPs in actuality, but just insecure people who score that way and make posts like that to compensate.

    i don't think its that far fetched of a theory, but if you think it is then would you really agree that ENFPs really do love pointing out how awesome they are to everyone? because im trying not to paint ENFPs in that light. I'm trying to find a more fair explanation without automatically assuming its just pure arrogance. hopefully that makes more sense.

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    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Hahahah! I absolutely agree with your observation, I've observed it myself.
    I don't know what the f***en deal is with this. The only thing I can say is that, like Skylights mentioned, not ALL ENFP's are overwhelming in this regard. There definately are *some* ENFP's that it seems to be a pattern with. And while I don't necessarily agree that insecure people are specifically drawn to forums, I DO believe that insecure people may feel an OVERWHELMING need to push their good points, which only backfires in the eyes of a more astute observer. It lacks a level of humility. I notice that quite a few INFP's zone in on this as well. Truly, ENFP's try to relate to others through experience. This might come across as a "I've been there" moral high-horse, but is not intended that way. ENFP's are also optimists, so it is not atypical for them to focus in on their good points, and self-sell. Many times this quality will drive me bat-shit crazy, as I will understand why the ENFP is doing this, yet as an older ENFP I also understand the effect it can have. I attribute it to a level of maturity, most commonly found in the young and over zealous ENFP. I don't worry about it too much though, as I know that life has a way, in some fashion or another, of coming along and kicking even the most optimistic idealist in check. =D No one escapes reality, lol.
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    I'm surprised that INFPs do it, if that's the case.. and I'm not trying to "push my own good points" there either. Because it isn't necessarily a good point. It's just that if there's one thing I notice that I can share with many, it's the self-criticism. Much like INTPs (Not that they'd always be that way though. I'm sure the internet could free them up a bit more).

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    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I'm surprised that INFPs do it, if that's the case.. and I'm not trying to "push my own good points" there either. Because it isn't necessarily a good point. It's just that if there's one thing I notice that I can share with many, it's the self-criticism. Much like INTPs (Not that they'd always be that way though. I'm sure the internet could free them up a bit more).
    When I said "quite a few INFP's zone in on this as well" I meant that to read as "quite a few INFP's seem to recognize this tendency with the ENFP, and be irritated as well. I have never observed an INFP lack humility. Though I'm sure it can occur.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

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