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Thread: Help please

  1. #1
    Senior Member ThinkingAboutIt's Avatar
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    Default Help please

    I have an ENFJ that works for me. I am having a few problems that I need help with...

    One is...if I give the person something to do, they want me to be involved every step of the way or they want to do it together. I can never just give it to them, tell them what to do and get it back finished. I can give the most explicit instructions, watch them write it down and repeat it back to me, say yes that is exactly what I want once they are finished but 10 minutes later they still do it wrong and I have to go over everything again. Or, I get it back half done and have to finish it. How do I get them to understand that if I wanted to do it myself, I would not have given it to them? How do I get them to understand that they need to pay more attention so they do not make errors? (they just blow it off as, oh well, a mistake even after it was the same mistake for the 3rd time...they have total denial of ever discussing it, which amazes me). This is VERY frustrating to me because it wastes a huge amount of time everyday and I already have a lot on my plate!

    This might be the wrong forum to ask, but I like the person and I want to make things better if possible, thanks.
    Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

  2. #2
    Klingon Warrior Princess Patches's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThinkingAboutIt View Post
    How do I get them to understand that if I wanted to do it myself, I would not have given it to them?
    Tell them that if you had wanted to do it yourself, you would not have given it to them?

    Really... You're his boss. Just tell him straightforward that the purpose of his position is so that you don't have to complete that work. If you continue to have to hold his hand you're going to need to find someone else to fill the position.
    “Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside
    them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.” -Neil Gaiman

    ~

  3. #3
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    How do you know coworker is ENFJ? What the heck are you asking coworker to do?

  4. #4
    Senior Member ThinkingAboutIt's Avatar
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    I did a bit of that today, but in frustration. I have found that while it is taken well at the time, it comes back as insecurity afterwards and more mistakes are made...and more denial. They are VERY sensitive to calling out on their mistakes. They blew up once and almost had a nervous breakdown when I finally reached boiling point. They apologized, but I don't want to go there again.

    Please don't think that I am sitting here saying I do not make mistakes, I do! I just don't know how to get this person to see theirs and correct it...
    Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

  5. #5
    Senior Member ThinkingAboutIt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    How do you know coworker is ENFJ? What the heck are you asking coworker to do?
    I typed her. Then, she took the test and it was the same. She read it and other descriptions and said it was her.

    She is my employee, not a coworker.
    Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThinkingAboutIt View Post
    I typed her. Then, she took the test and it was the same. She read it and other descriptions and said it was her.

    She is my employee, not a coworker.
    Okay. What are you asking her to do?

  7. #7
    Senior Member ThinkingAboutIt's Avatar
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    Well, one was that I asked them to research something. I told them what the purpose of the research was, what the goal of doing it was, and what I was looking for overall. 5 minutes after asking that it be done, I was called in to discuss something found that was interesting. That something had NOTHING to do with the goal given, nothing to do with the purpose, etc. Same thing a few minutes later - it was just unreal. So, I had to do it myself and they wanted to watch over my shoulder to see what I was doing. Waste of time. Next day, I gave them something else to research. Goal and purpose given. I got links to a website that were category correct, but absolutely no research was done to know whether they fit the goal or purpose! I will have to do that. How does that happen?
    Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

  8. #8
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    You said you had them write the instructions and they watched over your shoulder, but that's obviously not enough. Did you also write up a set of step by step instructions with a couple of clear examples; including, screenshots? Then, did you sit with them and watch them work until they get it right?

    Dedicate a day, two days, whatever it takes to a workshop where they're working and you're there standby to guide them through it. If that fails, you may need to start looking for replacements.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    The best way I can get a job done is by receiving the right training from the beginning, It must be clear and step by step...pre written instructions work wonders!!! I watch the first time around and if I have clean and clear notes its all good! If my notes are F'ed up and all over the place....and I'm just thrown in to something totally new, I tend to ask tons of questions until I totally understand it and feel confident in doing it correctly on my own (unless I have concise written instructions !). Try to go easy on them and try not be to harsh and critical, the ENFJ assumes that you are there to help develop them in their new roll...other wise the ENFJ might feel hurt and misunderstood. Thats how I am anyway, hope this helps! MBTI definitely helps in situations like these!

    Its funny that you brought this up because my old boss was an INTP as well. At work we totally clashed, but outside of work I liked her just fine <3.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  10. #10
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patches View Post
    Tell them that if you had wanted to do it yourself, you would not have given it to them?

    Really... You're his boss. Just tell him straightforward that the purpose of his position is so that you don't have to complete that work. If you continue to have to hold his hand you're going to need to find someone else to fill the position.
    If you want to see a stressed out ENFJ's "Fe" come in to play, where it could possibly involve either crying or you getting chewed out (depending on the situation and how long its been going on) do the above lol.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

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