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  1. #1
    Junior Member skillethelm's Avatar
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    Default INFP and sexual orientation

    Hey, new new poster here. (Nice to meet yall.) I know us INFPs tend to struggle with the idea of identity (do I ever know), so, just curious-- have many of us had the same kind of uncertainty about sexual orientation? I struggle with this a lot just 'cause I find so many people attractive in personality and I have that ingrained desire to find love (:workout. I've read that a lot of us find it disconcertingly easy to relate to the idea of multiple personality disorder (and I have :| ), does that play any role in it for you?

    Non-INFPs, share your thoughts too! Observations? Ideas, whatevs.

    Or, if I'm being captain obvious, feel free to let me know that too. XD

  2. #2
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    I've never been remotely interested in having sex with dudes, but I've had some VERY close friendships with guys (bromances if you must) that made me wonder "is this normal?" I've come to the conclusion that it is normal -- for an infp male. I remember when one of my best friends got married I used to visit him and his wife (who'd been a good friend too) from time to time, when I remembered, and at one point she complained jokingly but not really that whenever I was there it was sort of like she was the visitor.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    I am completely certain I am straight and have never been confused about my sexual orientation. I fully support gays/lesbians and their right to marriage. And if I was a lesbian, I'd be okay with it and if my children are gay, I'd be totally cool with it as well. For me personally, I like contrasts and I am extremely feminine. So I am very attracted to masculine guys, the more masculine the better. I have very close girl friends. I think some women are hot and there is some sexual desire, but I could never 'fall in love' with another woman. I am attracted to masculinity way too much, mentally and emotionally. It's okay to be confused/uncertain and just experience all that life has to offer. I think that's very smart instead of knowing there is doubt and beating yourself over it and trying to stuff yourself into a box. It happens to many people, not just infps, just let go and see where it takes you.

  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    I've never been remotely interested in having sex with dudes, but I've had some VERY close friendships with guys (bromances if you must) that made me wonder "is this normal?" I've come to the conclusion that it is normal -- for an infp male.
    That's funny. One of my best male friends is an INFP, he long had a reputation as a "metrosexual," and even though he's married with kids and never identified as gay, his most prominent male relationships could be labeled as "bromances" too and I was kind of amazed at the overtones there between guys who are not gay. He can joke about it and notes it himself, with some humor.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
    Junior Member skillethelm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    I've never been remotely interested in having sex with dudes, but I've had some VERY close friendships with guys (bromances if you must) that made me wonder "is this normal?" I've come to the conclusion that it is normal -- for an infp male. I remember when one of my best friends got married I used to visit him and his wife (who'd been a good friend too) from time to time, when I remembered, and at one point she complained jokingly but not really that whenever I was there it was sort of like she was the visitor.
    that's adorable, hahahaa! I love it!

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    I am completely certain I am straight and have never been confused about my sexual orientation. I fully support gays/lesbians and their right to marriage. And if I was a lesbian, I'd be okay with it and if my children are gay, I'd be totally cool with it as well. For me personally, I like contrasts and I am extremely feminine. So I am very attracted to masculine guys, the more masculine the better. I have very close girl friends. I think some women are hot and there is some sexual desire, but I could never 'fall in love' with another woman. I am attracted to masculinity way too much, mentally and emotionally. It's okay to be confused/uncertain and just experience all that life has to offer. I think that's very smart instead of knowing there is doubt and beating yourself over it and trying to stuff yourself into a box. It happens to many people, not just infps, just let go and see where it takes you.

    I think what you described is ultimately where I'll find myself (and I've never found it to be a source of conflict or doubt, just uncertainty). It would probably be a quicker conclusion for me if I were someone who experimented a little more, but sexual contact/experimentation for its own sake is something I can't do.

    Incidentally, a close ISFP friend often gets upset with me for what she sees as me 'judging' her for doing it, at which point I have to offer a typical 'I just have to let you know I wouldnt have done it myself' followed by 'I don't appreciate being called a slut.' / 'What? I didn't say that? You know I love you, yes? I think you're just an amazing person.' -- so many hurt feelings out of nowhere! lmao.

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    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I don't care either way if I'm more feminine or masculine, or if my partner was strongly one or the other, but I'd be heterosexual myself. I suppose biology dictates some things for me there. Both women with masculine or feminine qualities (at least, what society would deem masculine or feminine) can be attractive to me. I guess the attraction just comes down to something deeper about the person. I don't have multiple personality disorder. Fi to me is more about having an axis of conviction on which the identity spins upon. I can be confused or open in many subjects in life, but I have a hard time falling randomly or getting sucked into things to the point of losing myself. There's some kind of mental block there to keep me grounded.

  7. #7
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    That's funny. One of my best male friends is an INFP, he long had a reputation as a "metrosexual," and even though he's married with kids and never identified as gay, his most prominent male relationships could be labeled as "bromances" too and I was kind of amazed at the overtones there between guys who are not gay. He can joke about it and notes it himself, with some humor.
    I've never been described as metrosexual, and I don't think there have been any "overtones" between me and any of my best friends (not that there's anything wrong with that). It's more that we're very close friends. Like twins or something, without the fighting and competitiveness. I guess the thing that made me wonder is that I've only really ever had one of these kinds of friends at a time. Best friend monogamy. But that kind of friendship is pretty high maintenance, not that it's a chore. And I am an introvert, so I only have so much friendship energy to expend. But thinking about it, even when I had other close friends I always knew who my best friend was, and he always took priority in loyalty conflict situations. So maybe there were overtones.

  8. #8
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Yeah, not metrosexual here either. First, image wise, at this point in life, I doubt I care about how I come across any more than some balding middle manager in his 60s. When I was young, I tried a little. I was comfortable at first just having holes in my jeans. That is, until I got laughed at and realized that maybe I should try prepping up. So I'd borrow clothes from people, but the whole period spiraled into too much attention to it.. I started caring too much and got insecure about it. Forget that. I was better off where I was in the beginning.

    As for metrosexual in the friendship sense.. not really either. I have one really good friend (whom I can't tell if he's ESFJ or some Fe heavy ESTP), and he's a lot more affectionate, once we sit around and just b.s. about life. He's more demonstrative and has a lot of cool things to say to me, but I've always been one to take things in more quietly. I feel kind of bad in a way for not feeding back in the same way he does (or with anyone like that). Nothing comes out that way. I doubt anyone would peg me as an F, the way it seems to be understood sometimes.

  9. #9
    Junior Member skillethelm's Avatar
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    Very interesting. :o So I'm curious, how old are you all, responders? I figure age would probably have a little to do with it. I had the most uncertainty on that front when I was 15/16 or so. Rather, I guess, I felt more compelled to be sure which gender I was attracted to back then. XD Now I'm fairly sure I'm into men, butmy affectionate responses to female friends get strong enough - and I'm dissociated enough from the act of sex - that I often convince myself I'd like to show my love in that way too.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    I am 22, prime time to experiment if I was into it. It wasn't until recently that I am even sexually attracted to women. I am, sometimes, since nineteen or so because I was around a bunch of different very beautiful and smart women. I also could probably tell you my ideal type of woman, but I just prefer men as a choice by miles.

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