[INFP] INFP and sexual orientation

[Savage Idealist]

As far as I know, I'm 100% straight, although I wonder, if maybe, just maybe, I'm only 98% straight. I mean physically males are unappealing to me, and I've never been attracted to the typical male like persona at all. Although that doesn't mean I'm incapable of loving someone else of the same gender; love for me is indiscriminate of what gender they are, if I like someone a lot and care about them personally, then I would consider that love none the less. I suppose that would fall under the category of a bromance I think, but as far as I'm concerned it's probably normal for an INFP like myself, since INFP's are probably more likely to value a strong bond of freindship to great levels.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I'm heterosexual & have never been confused about it. While I've had mini-identity crises, they never involved my sexuality, because honestly, I don't define myself by sexual desires. They are what they are. Like, labeling myself heterosexual is waaaaay down the list of adjectives I'd used to describe who I am as a person. I don't let passing thoughts confuse me either...I imagine all kinds of weird (some disturbing) stuff I'd never do nor truly have the desire to do. I also easily discern between recognizing beauty & experiencing sexual attraction. I suppose some people get confused if they don't grasp these differences though.

So my identity crises are more about how I will meet my ideal self in reality; I always know my basic, physical desires - I am not confused about those.

 

[skillethelm]

While none of that is normally confusing for male INFPs (except insofar as feeling out of step with the surround culture) I suppose a subset of young, idealistic INFPs do tend to focus on the emotional aspects of relationships at the expense of an awareness of the sexual aspects. This could, in theory, lead to some confusion given the romantic tones that friendship can have. I have a hard time seeing such confusion surviving actual sexual interaction, though.

Right on, nukka. I feel that logic.

 

[skillethelm]

Thanks for the replies, guys!

And thanks for not understanding my 'logic', Mr or Ms INTJ. I appreciate it.


I wouldn't say that I've been confused by physical desires. I just rarely put myself in a situation where I'd be checking. As far as what arouses me though, both genders depending on my mood; I'd say that's a fair reason to wonder, though I'm certainly not having a crisis over it.

 

[Oaky]

And thanks for not understanding my 'logic', Mr or Ms INTJ. I appreciate it.

Well 'strange' doesn't necessarily have to mean 'not understanding'. There are many many paths for one to lead towards such thought. There is a greater inclination to observe what is thought then judge you upon it within my perceptions.

 

[skillethelm]

Well 'strange' doesn't necessarily have to mean 'not understanding'. There are many many paths for one to lead towards such thought. There is a greater inclination to observe what is thought then judge you upon it within my perceptions.

All right. Then, feel free to define what you've observed and I'll interpret at will. XD

 

[Oaky]

All right. Then, feel free to define what you've observed and I'll interpret at will. XD

The idea would be the generalisation you mentioned of the INFP being confused with sexual orientation. Usually such is not the case as for those who experience similar to that which you feel about what you tend to be attracted to may be of many different MBTI types. Of course many of them end up pinning themselves down to bisexual or pansexual.

I guess were I to have a problem here it would be the generalisation that INFPs tend to be such more than other types in which one would start analysing the functions of the INFP and how they might adhere to being such by it. The thought of 'I am INFP and I am slightly confused by my sexual orientation and wish to see if other INFPs are the same as me' is the strange bit because if you find other INFPs are the same as you, it would perhaps (whether on a subconscious or conscious level) delude you more to thinking it's more a trait of the INFP than any other type.

 

[Kriash]

I'm gay, but I was never really that confused about it. It went from knowing I liked guys to understanding that I was gay. Honestly, I think it's one of the only things I haven't been confused about. I do question who I am a lot, but not dealing with sexual orientation.

 

[skillethelm]

The idea would be the generalisation you mentioned of the INFP being confused with sexual orientation. Usually such is not the case as for those who experience similar to that which you feel about what you tend to be attracted to may be of many different MBTI types. Of course many of them end up pinning themselves down to bisexual or pansexual.

I guess were I to have a problem here it would be the generalisation that INFPs tend to be such more than other types in which one would start analysing the functions of the INFP and how they might adhere to being such by it. The thought of 'I am INFP and I am slightly confused by my sexual orientation and wish to see if other INFPs are the same as me' is the strange bit because if you find other INFPs are the same as you, it would perhaps (whether on a subconscious or conscious level) delude you more to thinking it's more a trait of the INFP than any other type.

Yes, that all makes sense. It seems like the answer I'm mostly getting is that it isn't a more 'INFP' trait necessarily, so, that's been cleared up for me fairly well. I usually can't make these determinations confidently without outside input. It's always nice to hear others feel or think the same as I do, but that said, I was looking for clarity on the matter, not so much assent. Which is what I'm sure you're trying to provide me, so-- thanks. :workout:

 

[skillethelm]

I'm gay, but I was never really that confused about it. It went from knowing I liked guys to understanding that I was gay. Honestly, I think it's one of the only things I haven't been confused about. I do question who I am a lot, but not dealing with sexual orientation.

That's good to hear.

 

[SRT]

I've never been remotely interested in having sex with dudes, but I've had some VERY close friendships with guys (bromances if you must) that made me wonder "is this normal?" I've come to the conclusion that it is normal -- for an infp male. I remember when one of my best friends got married I used to visit him and his wife (who'd been a good friend too) from time to time, when I remembered, and at one point she complained jokingly but not really that whenever I was there it was sort of like she was the visitor.

Scrubs, anyone?

 

[Ponyboy]

I agree with what alot of people have said here so no need rehashing old news, but sexual orientation is probably the one thing I have never been confused about. I don't think it has anything to do with MBTI type anyway does it? Just because we may not fit someone else's mold of manly has nothing to do with our reality. I think it takes more manliness ( courage?bravery? strength? guts? I dunno the right word I'm looking for here) to be yourself no matter what others think. I'm sure I've been called gay in the past for the way I relate to others but I don't really give a sh*t. I do have more true friends who are woman and I'm cool with that. I always thought it was weird that the "manly bros" just wanted to hang out with other dudes anyway!

 

[skillethelm]

Of course, I was wondering more if other INFPs tended to question themselves to that point, rather than if more INFPs were bisexual/homosexual than other types. I see it more now that I haven't personally exposed myself to enough contact to see a clear answer for myself yet.

 

[Ponyboy]

Ya I saw you that you posted that while I was typing. oops. I am a stereotypical INFP in that way....I take a long time for my answers! :yim_rolling_on_the_

 

[skillethelm]

Figures! XD But I coulda been more clear to start with, so

 

[BAJ]

Yes, maybe.

First, many people assume I'm gay because of the way I talk and maybe how I react or relate. Here are supposedly gay stereotypical things:
1. Drinking with pinky extended
2. Love mom
3. "hate" dad
4. No interest in sports.
5. Like Ikabena and Tokanoma
6. Like the arts
7. Talking with somewhat of a effeminate voice (Southern Effeminate)
8. Some INFP stuff too...thrown in there.

Thus, I was confused about it. Like most things, I read dozens of books on it, including "Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life."

I've hung out in gay culture. I love gays. I like their culture. It's really easy for them to believe I'm gay.

And maybe I am a kinsey 1 or 2.

But extremely majority...what organ I'm attracted to...is probably overwhelmingly heterosexual.

That said, I've had moments where I just wanted to be closer...where I wanted to touch someone. I want closeness. I think that's normal, whether someone thinks it's gay or not.

 

[Kriash]

That said, I've had moments where I just wanted to be closer...where I wanted to touch someone. I want closeness. I think that's normal, whether someone thinks it's gay or not.

I think this is totally normal. I like to be close to people, and a lot of girls have mistakenly taken this the wrong way, even though they know I like men. I just like the feeling of having someone near, to hold, to talk to, whatever. But when it comes to who I would like to sleep with, I can't say that I have the urge to sleep with women. I mean, I've certainly thought about it, but I always come to the same conclusion.

 

[Synapse]

I am heterosexual, rarely questioned it. When I did I found I am heterosexual period!
What gets me most is my inability to be social and flirt enough to be seen as attractive by the opposite sex to be sexually active.

 

[Santosha]

I'll throw something else in here that I've always been a bit curious about. And maybe, this is more *culture related* than sexually, I don't know. But I've noticed with women, it seems to be much more acceptable to see eachother naked, or cuddle, or check out eachothers bodys, and still be heterosexual. I have never observed heterosexual men act towards eachother the way that my heterosexual girl friends and I have acted. Why is that? I've asked heterosexual guys this question.. why would you feel uncomfortable if another guy came over and you guys got ready together naked? Why would you NEVER consider cuddling up with a close guy friend? Why do you not go to the bathroom together, etc. I could name a million things that women do that closes in on the gap of sexuality, knowing that there is no real sexual root in it. But it seems to make many men uncomfortable... is this purley cultural? Or is it that women *can* be such emotional creatures, that we understand the levels of this? And men are so stimuli-sexually oriented, that they don't understand the need or benefits of such closeness?

 

[Kriash]

Thinking of going to the bathroom with another guy is kind of strange to me in all honesty. I mean, I've went to the bathroom with one of my girl friends, and it wasn't weird, and we were just friends. I think if I was dating a guy I would be cool peeing and showering/walking around naked with him, and maybe if I had a close girl friend I would be okay changing or being in my underwear or things like that.

Also, I was at a straight male friends house a couple years ago, and he was going to take a shower, and I was in the other bathroom, and he came walking in naked to get his towel...He didn't seem to find it awkward, but I found it slightly so.