User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 66

  1. #11
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    I've never been described as metrosexual, and I don't think there have been any "overtones" between me and any of my best friends (not that there's anything wrong with that).
    Just to be clear, I meant more that there was emotional interplay far more typical of "female drama," than there was actual sexual interest between them. (One of the other guys was an ENFP, who was very macho and guyish and Type A, yet somehow emotionally seemed to have this touchy side more commonly seen in women.)


    It's more that we're very close friends. Like twins or something, without the fighting and competitiveness. I guess the thing that made me wonder is that I've only really ever had one of these kinds of friends at a time. Best friend monogamy. But that kind of friendship is pretty high maintenance, not that it's a chore. And I am an introvert, so I only have so much friendship energy to expend. But thinking about it, even when I had other close friends I always knew who my best friend was, and he always took priority in loyalty conflict situations. So maybe there were overtones.
    I don't know. It does sound deeper/more like the kind of doting that more typically occurs between women, since many men seem to stay more n the surface and focus on what they do together rather than looking at the relationship as an entity onto itself.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #12
    Ginkgo
    Guest

    Default

    My eyes glisten when I think about Clint Eastwood. The feelings don't seem to be mutual.


  3. #13
    Member Phenix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    40

    Default

    I call myself heteroflexible. It's taken me decades to reach this point. I am more naturally attracted to women, but as long as there is chemistry, why not?

  4. #14
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Socionics
    SLI None
    Posts
    6,168

    Default

    INFP -> Identity crisis -> Unsure of sexual orientation?
    Strange logic.

  5. #15
    Ginkgo
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Oakysage View Post
    INFP -> Identity crisis -> Unsure of sexual orientation?
    Strange logic.
    Yeah it should be self-evident. My theory is that a person in this situation doesn't know what sexual orientation means.

    I mean, even given being an INFP entails having an identity crisis, which it doesn't.

  6. #16
    Senor Membrane
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,190

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    I've never been remotely interested in having sex with dudes, but I've had some VERY close friendships with guys (bromances if you must) that made me wonder "is this normal?" I've come to the conclusion that it is normal -- for an infp male. I remember when one of my best friends got married I used to visit him and his wife (who'd been a good friend too) from time to time, when I remembered, and at one point she complained jokingly but not really that whenever I was there it was sort of like she was the visitor.
    This sounds familiar to me. I would even say that I would have a lot more of these types of friends if most people weren't socially brought up to seeing this weird. What I mean is, I think that a friendship is meant to go a lot further than the unwritten rules will allow. This is why it is maybe easier for me to have close female friends. Then the question isn't "Is this gay", but it is more like "Is this attraction" which is an easier question to answer within this society. There is less freaking out, and more speculation about what is attraction anyway.

    To OP. I'm sure I'm not gay, but I guess normal people would not be so sure of that.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    MBTI
    HUMR
    Enneagram
    6 sx
    Socionics
    iNfp Ni
    Posts
    1,521

    Default

    I consider myself an ambivert, so I'll post.

    I've never really questioned my sexuality. I like guys (alot) haha. But I have thought some other women, celebrities, etc. are drop dead gorgeous, and I've developed a fascination with beauty. Not Pam Anderson overtanned fake titted beauty... usually women who are just naturally beautiful. There have been more than a few times that my friends and I have ran around the house naked together getting ready for a party, lol.. and I've had the desire to *touch* and *see* other womens bodys. For instance, I like to touch a good set of breasts. Soft tissue, curvature, etc. I also like to touch soft skin, and the feel of hips or a back. Do I get off on it? No. Its more of a curiosity. A sense of appreciating beauty in all forms. When I was about 14, I wondered if this curiosity gave me some kind of bi-leanings.. but after a few experiments, it became evident that I would rather poke my eyes out than go down on another women ...ick! That is just me, I have zero qualm with people that are bi or gay. I think sexual orientation is pretty simple, primitive if you will. If you are questioning your preference, ask yourself this... beyond being close with another, and appreciating beauty, would it get you off to give head to a dude? Would you let it go further than that? Would you derive some pleasure and not just curiosity of the moment? If the answer is yes, then you probably have some bi-leanings...
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  8. #18
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SLI None
    Posts
    9,635

    Default

    when I was younger, I was very confused about how anyone being honest with themselves could be confused about their sexuality. my theory (which I will not pretend is anyhting close to verifiable) is that it is more of a spectrum, with about 60% of people being completely straight, 5-10% of people being completely gay and the other 30-35% ranging from bi-curious to bisexual. let's say on a scale from 1-10, 1 is 100% straight, 10 is 100% gay, 2-3 is bicurious, 4-5 is slightly bisexual, 6-7 is bisexual and 8-9 is bisexual prefering same gender.
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  9. #19
    Senior Member tkae.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    762

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    when I was younger, I was very confused about how anyone being honest with themselves could be confused about their sexuality. my theory (which I will not pretend is anyhting close to verifiable) is that it is more of a spectrum, with about 60% of people being completely straight, 5-10% of people being completely gay and the other 30-35% ranging from bi-curious to bisexual. let's say on a scale from 1-10, 1 is 100% straight, 10 is 100% gay, 2-3 is bicurious, 4-5 is slightly bisexual, 6-7 is bisexual and 8-9 is bisexual prefering same gender.
    They actually have such a thing:



    It's called the Kinsey Scale.

    And you'd be extremely surprised as to how much more evenly the statistics are distributed across the board
    "Not knowing how near the truth is, we seek it far away." -Ekaku Hakuin
    http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b1...psdunkqmep.png
    5w4 . IEI . Chaotic Good
    Right-Libertarian Minarchist

  10. #20
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/so
    Posts
    1,565

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tkae. View Post
    They actually have such a thing:



    It's called the Kinsey Scale.

    And you'd be extremely surprised as to how much more evenly the statistics are distributed across the board

    Here are some modern statistics (although keeping in mind how difficult it is to get accurate statistics on sexual orientation and same-sex behavior):

    • The Kinsey Institute Bibliography: Prevalence of Homosexuality
    • In an analysis of national survey results from 2006-2008, The percentage reporting their sexual identity as homosexual ranged from 2% to 4% of males, and about 1% to 2% of females. The percentage reporting their sexual identity as bisexual is between 1% and 3% of males, and 2% to 5% of females. (Chandra, Mosher, Copen, and Sionean 2011)
    • About 4%–6% of males ever had same-sex contact. For females, the percentage who have ever had same-sex contact ranges from about 4% ... to 11%–12%. (Chandra, Mosher, Copen, and Sionean 2011)
    • While about 7% of adult women and 8% of men identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual, the proportion of individuals in the U.S. who have had same-gender sexual interactions at some point in their lives is higher. (NSSHB, 2010)
    • In a national survey, 90% of men aged 18-44 considered themselves to be heterosexual, 2.3% as homosexual, 1.8% as bisexual, and 3.9% as 'something else' (Mosher, Chandra, & Jones, 2005).
    • Among women aged 18-44 in the same survey, 90% said they were heterosexual, 1.3% homosexual, 2.8% bisexual, and 3.8% as 'something else' (Mosher, Chandra, & Jones, 2005).
    • The incidence rate of homosexual desire for men is 7.7% and 7.5% for women (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).
    • 6.2% of men and 4.4% of women are attracted to people of the same sex (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).
    • 4% of men and 2% of women consider themselves homosexual while 5% of men and 3% of women consider themselves bisexual (Janus & Janus, 1993).
    • 88.2% of adolescent youths as a Minnesota junior/senior high school described himself or herself as heterosexual, while 1.1% described himself or herself as bisexual or homosexual, and 10.7% were not sure of their sexual orientation (Remafedi, 1992).
    So, the overwhelming majority of people claim to be straight, and claim not to experience same sex attraction. That percentage might go down a bit in a more accepting culture, but I suspect there is a lower bound. Being 100% gay myself (and trying to function as a heterosexual for a number of years) I don't buy that everyone is really bisexual.

    As far as INFPs go, I think there are a few things that can go on in US culture:

    First, I think INFP men are much more emotionally oriented than the stereotypical American male, and look for a higher level of emotional closeness with their friends.

    Secondly, I think the need to maintain status and the related fear of looking gay combine to stifle friendship for US men. This is particularly unfortunate, since close friendships is correlated to things like improved quality of live, a longer lifespan and stress resilience.

    Thirdly, friendships can have a romantic (if non-sexual) element to them (as in Bromance).

    So, I think the first two factors combine to make INFPs stand out as wanting unusual emotional closeness with their friends for current American culture. With the third factor, it can give those friendships the overtones of something more by the desiccated standards of current US male friendship.

    While none of that is normally confusing for male INFPs (except insofar as feeling out of step with the surrounding culture) I suppose a subset of young, idealistic INFPs do tend to focus on the emotional aspects of relationships at the expense of an awareness of the sexual aspects. This could, in theory, lead to some confusion given the romantic tones that friendship can have. I have a hard time seeing such confusion surviving actual sexual interaction, though.

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] INFPs and Depression?
    By superkumquat in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 08-19-2010, 08:56 AM
  2. [INFP] INFPs and flirting
    By briochick in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 02-08-2009, 01:10 AM
  3. [INFP] INFPs and the "disappearance" syndrome
    By Dwigie in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 45
    Last Post: 09-24-2008, 10:14 AM
  4. [INFP] INFPs and the Lack of Initiative
    By nolla in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 09-02-2008, 01:38 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO