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  1. #11
    ~dangerous curves ahead~
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    Sorry guys... Don't kill me but I'm wary of ENFPs in real life. I like them but I would not consider a relationship with one, unless he was more mature. Friendships yes, they make great companions. Not relationships.

    A lot of energy and enthusiasm for something, but it fades just as quickly. Perhaps it is the guardedness of a T/N, but sometimes it feels as if they're giving that much because they want to be reaffirmed/want to be needed.

    So, in a sense, it doesn't have to be you they are interested in/love, as long as it is someone who gives them that deep affirmation, they will be attracted.

    That's not a healthy base for a relationship to me, because someone else can always give more.

    So yups. I prefer I guess someone who is clearer where their affections lie, who feels as if I'm the one and not only because of reassurance/he needs someone, who does not do the emotional flipflops that leaves my heart cold.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Hexis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    I love ENFPs in real life, but hate them online.

    I love ENFPs in real life because they are quick to grasp what I am saying, seemingly more from how I am saying it than by what I am actually saying. I find that skill to be fascinating and their demeanor always lightens up the room. Sadly, they can't do those things online, and so the magic doesn't exist when I encounter them in discussions. Misunderstandings occur very often as a result, and their impulsiveness really shows up, sometimes seeming incredibly inappropriate.
    Well not most but all of our "grand" social skills come from being very alert to tones and body laungage, we are like super sensitive to it. I can tell what kind of face someone is makeing, their stance and sometimes even their more subtle body laungage just from their voice with my back turned. And our over active future thinking allows us to percieve where a conversation is headed before even the speaker nows it sometime and then manipulate it. (i do this rather often) But, all of this only works in person when we can hear their voice and see them(or atleast be in the same room).

    And another question is it just me or do all ENFPs have a lack of patience, I have almost none. And thus will lead to some of my outbursts on the forums, ok let me correct myself all of them LOL.
    SDMF

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    I prefer I guess someone who is clearer where their affections lie, who feels as if I'm the one and not only because of reassurance/he needs someone
    Aelan, another interpretation is that the ENFP is just appreciating the feeling or affirmation from others more and you might be prone to interpret this as a loss of affection for you, even if it isn't. In other words, you might see the affirmation the F exchanges in to be an apple with only so many bites, whereas for the F, it's an all-you-can-eat buffet.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hexis View Post
    AHA ty lol, spelling was always one of my worst problems i like to spell things pheonetically (not even sure if thats correct hahaha)
    Nah, u probly ment "fenetic." Happens to me, too.

  5. #15
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    Sorry guys... Don't kill me but I'm wary of ENFPs in real life. I like them but I would not consider a relationship with one, unless he was more mature. Friendships yes, they make great companions. Not relationships.

    A lot of energy and enthusiasm for something, but it fades just as quickly. Perhaps it is the guardedness of a T/N, but sometimes it feels as if they're giving that much because they want to be reaffirmed/want to be needed.

    So, in a sense, it doesn't have to be you they are interested in/love, as long as it is someone who gives them that deep affirmation, they will be attracted.

    That's not a healthy base for a relationship to me, because someone else can always give more.

    So yups. I prefer I guess someone who is clearer where their affections lie, who feels as if I'm the one and not only because of reassurance/he needs someone, who does not do the emotional flipflops that leaves my heart cold.
    Okey-dokey,

    This is only from my personal perspective of being an ENFP, but...

    Yes, I can be very "excited" at first, and very optimistic, but I am *never* dishonest with people I get myself involved with, never.

    Upon first getting to know each other, I always explain to them "The Rules of Chick"

    How I can be fickle, flaky...

    Also, I always warn that I am a *crazy* atypical person, let alone female. lol.

    (I'm not going to bore you with the details, but believe you me, they get them )

    But, all in all, I am incredibly loyal to people who withstand the "tests" of time, and if I deem someone worthy of my friendship, or girlfriendship, I will be just that, a good friend, and, or, a girlfriend.

    I am well liked, always have been. and I'm assuming always will be, therefore, I am not in search of getting validation from "admirers", yuck.

    I *know* I'm pretty

    I *know* I'm smart

    I *know* I'm special...


    What I am really looking for is a *partner*, and an *equal*, someone to complement my weaker areas and vice versa.

    I'm not down for hurting people or leading people on, no how, no way, yuck.

    Can I be flirtatious? Yes

    Can I be playful? Yes

    But I can, and am, often quite serious and loyal in my affections, (and when I am not, I am 100% open about it, i.e the guy knows I am only having fun)


    *Also, for what it is worth, I have only been in love once.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

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  6. #16
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    My friend's GF is an ENFP and she is real cool, very friendly, out going, fun and lovable. She is real cool as a friend but if I had, had the chance to date her I wouldn't she is better as friend IMO, but I would like to meet more ENFPs though.
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  7. #17
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    I've always been more of the friend than the person someone wanted to date.

  8. #18
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    ^ I wanna date you Dana, we could have some hot lesbian ENFP sex!!!
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  9. #19
    Senior Member Nameless's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    Sorry guys... Don't kill me but I'm wary of ENFPs in real life. I like them but I would not consider a relationship with one, unless he was more mature. Friendships yes, they make great companions. Not relationships.

    A lot of energy and enthusiasm for something, but it fades just as quickly. Perhaps it is the guardedness of a T/N, but sometimes it feels as if they're giving that much because they want to be reaffirmed/want to be needed.

    So, in a sense, it doesn't have to be you they are interested in/love, as long as it is someone who gives them that deep affirmation, they will be attracted.

    That's not a healthy base for a relationship to me, because someone else can always give more.

    So yups. I prefer I guess someone who is clearer where their affections lie, who feels as if I'm the one and not only because of reassurance/he needs someone, who does not do the emotional flipflops that leaves my heart cold.
    I don't agree with that at all. I am hugely picky with my friends and relationships, and won't just love whoever gives me the most affirmation. If there isn't enough affirmation, however, then I tend to feel uncomfortable and won't be myself and hate that and the friendship or relationship won't work out.

    So the affirmation is needed at a certain point in time, but does not necessarily mean the person is attractive to me at all just because they like me and are giving it.

    Also, I feel like a lot of people think of the affirmation that we need as hyper puppy dog style, "Oh, Mr. ENFP, you're wonderful" kind of affirmation, but it can be way more subtle than that. If I can see in your eyes that you are interested in what I'm saying, for example, when I talk to you, then that's enough for me.

  10. #20
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    I don't agree with it at all either. Only someone unique and "qualified" is someone I would be attracted to. In fact, cheap affirmation is a turn-off. I really have no idea why you would think ENFPs are like that.

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