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[INFP] (patiently) ask an INFP!!1

KDude

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Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
And to further the idea that this thread is totally all about me. (ugh) I will relate this funny INFP conversation from earlier today via texts between me and my best friend (INFP).

INFP: yay! I am going out with my dad for lunch today!
ME: awesome! have a great time :)
INFP: except we are going for indian food. :(
ME: why sad face? you love indian food.
INFP: yeah but I REALLY wanted to go get some japanese food, but he picked the indian restaurant out of the 3 ideas I gave him.

I had to chuckle because I totally see why she did what she did, but I also see how annoying we are when we do this. I know for a fact that if she had said, gee Dad I would love Japanese food! He would cheerfully agree and go there instead.

I think we should ship ourselves one way to the planet Saturn for a life of hugs and ponies and not much else.

And now my Fi pond is 100% empty and I need to go restock it.

Heh. Yeah, I don't exactly identify with being uncommunicative on that level. My parents always told me I could be persuasive if I wanted to. If I wanted to eat Japanese, I would try to make it sound appealing. If no one's convinced, that'd be OK, but I've never been one to not make a suggestion (or two). Especially with closer friends or family. There's even more familiarity there. I know where I stand with people, and the world is not going to end if I have an opinion. That's one idea I'd encourage anyone to understand. It's not the end of the world. And you don't have to bother projecting that level of sensitivity on to others either. Half of the time, they don't care.

That all said, it's different the further from "home" I get. I'm more diplomatic. If a majority wanted Indian food, I'm not going to bring the atmosphere down by insisting on something else. I like Indian anyways. It's another good choice, out of many. I am Ne, after all.. j/k

As for deeper opinions, there's a lot of personal stuff I hold back, but I'd rather not let things develop like some of the relationship examples INTPness mentioned. And in more negative situations, I don't mind a fight if it's necessary. It sucks, but fights have different degrees of "sucktitude", so sometimes it's best to get things out of the way. I know all about the "crack in the dam", but for whatever reason, I think it's best to try to nip things in the bud far before that kind of explosion piles up. There's always little signs that something is going to get worse if I don't do something about it, and I feel partly responsible if I don't help (myself and others) get past it. As far as I'm concerned, that's the Fi thing to do. I can recall situations in my teens where I was still too far on the hesitant side, but I would chalk it up more to shyness.
 

Nijntje

Warflower
Joined
Jun 7, 2009
Messages
3,130
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CRZY
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4w5
Sooo IF you guys (INFPs) were to rule the world, would you kill off your INTPs cousins?? :cry: We aren't found of teh gas chambers!!

OMIGOSHNO!!!


I HEART intp's!!

My dad is INTP, my best friend is INTP and i've had intp boyfriends.

You guys, once you strip back the layers of logic are actually fluffier than we are! <3 <3 <3 <3
 

Nijntje

Warflower
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4w5
My first order of business as Empress is to hand out ponies to everyone.

After that it's fingerpaint time.

I really can't plan much further than that sorry.

When i was 4 i was convinced santa was bringing me a pony to my dad's house. Very early christmas morning i got up, and creeeeeeped out into the front garden where iwas sure my shin new pony would be.

it wasn't there. puzzled i went back inside, "maybe it will be in the back yard" i thought to myself, i couldn't unlock the back door by myself, so i waited patiently, peering through the curtains, waiting for my family to wake up.

When they did and i went screaming into the back yard for my pony, only to find santa DIDN'T bring me one, i remember crying inconsolably to my INTP dad who thought it was the funniest thing in the world. The rest of my family couldn't undertand why i wasn't impressed with my hot pink barbie car.

Fuck barbie. i wanted a pony =C

Also. I have a fine arts degree i like to call my "fingerpainting degree"

This post has no purpose other than to help make me late for an appointment.

You're welcome =D
 

KDude

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
OMIGOSHNO!!!


I HEART intp's!!

My dad is INTP, my best friend is INTP and i've had intp boyfriends.

You guys, once you strip back the layers of logic are actually fluffier than we are! <3 <3 <3 <3


I might be an INTP, for all I know. So I wouldn't kill them off =P I'm a little puzzled where I fall exactly, like many 5w4ish INPs.
 

lunalum

Super Senior Member
Joined
Dec 20, 2008
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2,706
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ZNTP
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7w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Is it easier for INFPs to drop straight into Ne mode?
Why do you do that?

I was confused about this for a little while too. I think part might be that Ti kind of tethers the balloon that is Ne more so than Fi does. So more flights of fancy for the INFP, while for an INTP, Ti kind of has to agree not to butt in with stuff like checking consistency before the balloon can take off :tongue:

For me... this is how I view it. Everyone has that gooey secret mush center where their soul is. (Well, perhaps not NTJs.... ;)) For most types, I think they have natural defenses in place. Maybe it's a Ti or Te function that can deflect hurt away, etc. Maybe it's something else.

For INFP's our strongest function is Fi and that is directly connected/melded with our tender little soul. You prod it, you are prodding our innermost being. We can assemble a decent defense of Ne - but most SOs will figure out pretty quickly that the Ne is merely the crunchy candy coating that is housing what is actually going on. And this, I am sure, can be very frustrating. However, when we expose our Fi... even if it's something as simple as "Hey, I would love it if you bought me a pony." There is a chance you will say no, or not now, or how about an iguana. We interpret this response as a a rejection of ourselves because our Fi = ourselves.

And this is what I have found as well, and you have phrased it so nicely :yes: Candy coating with squishy center... I wonder if the reverse can be true for the ENxPs. Like, it's annoying when people don't see my logic of a situation, but it's more of a critical blow if I start taking one of the alternatives I offer seriously and nobody wants to hear it. But then how does a squishy outside work anyway? This is about the INFPs anyway, so I shall fuel the demands....

Bunnies.jpg


pandanamorando.jpg


cute_kitties-703835.jpg


pudding.jpg
 

KDude

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Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
I was confused about this for a little while too. I think part might be that Ti kind of tethers the balloon that is Ne more so than Fi does. So more flights of fancy for the INFP, while for an INTP, Ti kind of has to agree not to butt in with stuff like checking consistency before the balloon can take off :tongue:

Ti might be more formally systematic, on what's consistent.. maybe it'd be safe to say that categories are often filed easier for quick reference? Yet at the same time, Fi is global. I think they check in their own way. It's just difficult to talk about the process. Also, I think if you kept seeing Ne, you're looking at a Ne dominant. I think if you saw someone with more expressive bubbliness too, you're seeing an ESFP or ENFP playing with their Fi (as auxiliary). Because they don't take it as seriously. Just like ENTPs mostly play with Ti situationally, because they don't take it as seriously (in the sense of a global set of rules, like INTPs).
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
I was confused about this for a little while too. I think part might be that Ti kind of tethers the balloon that is Ne more so than Fi does. So more flights of fancy for the INFP, while for an INTP, Ti kind of has to agree not to butt in with stuff like checking consistency before the balloon can take off :tongue:



And this is what I have found as well, and you have phrased it so nicely :yes: Candy coating with squishy center... I wonder if the reverse can be true for the ENxPs. Like, it's annoying when people don't see my logic of a situation, but it's more of a critical blow if I start taking one of the alternatives I offer seriously and nobody wants to hear it. But then how does a squishy outside work anyway? This is about the INFPs anyway, so I shall fuel the demands....

Bunnies.jpg


pandanamorando.jpg


cute_kitties-703835.jpg


pudding.jpg

We are satisfied.

Edit: I is puddle of glittaire.
 

NegativeZero

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Mar 2, 2011
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I definitely have "serious" questions concerning Fi (Fi is an interesting animal) but it's been my experience that Fi'ers really don't want/like those serious questions - and sometimes the dialogue becomes delicate, stressful, or even heated (both IRL and on the forum)...

I mean, what you're describing is passive aggression, not Fi. Although both passive aggression and jealousy used to be a huge problem of mine due to my Fi, I overcame them. I think Fi is a useless beast. I'd much rather be Ti dominant, and this is coming from an INFP who is constantly mistaken for an INTP and has relatively good Ti.
 

KDude

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ENTPs are cool, but I think I can be..difficult or not fun enough for some, from their side of things. For the reason I mentioned above. Some play around with Ti situationally. As long as it has nothing to do with people, I'm fine. Sometimes I think I can be similar. But often it may annoy me, because some ideas are created for the specific purpose of seeing how far they can go with people. ESTPs, the same. In those cases, it's the IFP's duty to say "Dude.. no."
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
When i was 4 i was convinced santa was bringing me a pony to my dad's house. Very early christmas morning i got up, and creeeeeeped out into the front garden where iwas sure my shin new pony would be.

it wasn't there. puzzled i went back inside, "maybe it will be in the back yard" i thought to myself, i couldn't unlock the back door by myself, so i waited patiently, peering through the curtains, waiting for my family to wake up.

When they did and i went screaming into the back yard for my pony, only to find santa DIDN'T bring me one, i remember crying inconsolably to my INTP dad who thought it was the funniest thing in the world. The rest of my family couldn't undertand why i wasn't impressed with my hot pink barbie car.

Fuck barbie. i wanted a pony =C

Also. I have a fine arts degree i like to call my "fingerpainting degree"

This post has no purpose other than to help make me late for an appointment.

You're welcome =D


YOU = ME.

one Xmas (i was 5) there was a big box under the tree and I just KNEW that it was a pony! For! Me!

Everyday I petted the box and talked to it, so that the pony wouldn't be scared and that she would know me when I was able to open the box.

Finally my mom caught me at it and asked what the heck I was doing... And I explained myself.

She got a look on her face and said, oh sweetie, that isn't a pony... Your dad got you a vise... So that you guys can make wood working things together... Dads really excited so you have to be excited too!!

I was convinced it was still a pony until I opened the box... And my desire to not make dad sad combatted with my desire to have a pony. I think I solved it by sobbing while hugging the vise box....

I don't really remember.
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
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INFP
:) I wish I wished to have a pony. My traumatic xmas is about me and my brother eating too much chocolate and throwing up at the same time.
 

KDude

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Jan 26, 2010
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:) I wish I wished to have a pony. My traumatic xmas is about me and my brother eating too much chocolate and throwing up at the same time.

My brother once gave me a box of cat poo for Christmas.

It was hard.. When I shook it I thought it was a puzzle at first. :\
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
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sx/sp
My brother once gave me a box of cat poo for Christmas.

It was hard.. When I shook it I thought it was a puzzle at first. :\

Did you figure out it was poo before or after you put it back together?

(I still think the puzzle is a far better cry than mistaking it for candy.)
 

KDude

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Did you figure out it was poo before or after you put it back together?

(I still think the puzzle is a far better cry than mistaking it for candy.)

I realized it instantly got soggy the minute I opened it..

Soggy from tears, that is.


On the plus side, this probably made me a better "F" in the long run. I always try to be a little more "thoughtful" when giving gifts. :cool:
 

lunalum

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I think if you saw someone with more expressive bubbliness too, you're seeing an ESFP or ENFP playing with their Fi (as auxiliary). Because they don't take it as seriously. Just like ENTPs mostly play with Ti situationally, because they don't take it as seriously (in the sense of a global set of rules, like INTPs).

Interesting... so of the two functions that are leading, the dominant can be determined as the one that is taken more seriously? I could see that working, actually...


For what? Dating? E to the n to the t to the p.
For hugs? See above.
For egging each other on so we end up in jail? Both!

:hug: Let's try to stay out of jail though. I despise being trapped. We can still have some fun though, I have a way ;)


Some play around with Ti situationally. As long as it has nothing to do with people, I'm fine. But often it may annoy me, because some ideas are created for the specific purpose of seeing how far they can go with people. In those cases, it's the IFP's duty to say "Dude.. no."

So, what kind of "playing around with Ti situationally" would you consider as crossing the line into something that is wrong? Is it at the point where it hurts people or is it something prior or different from that?
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
Interesting... so of the two functions that are leading, the dominant can be determined as the one that is taken more seriously? I could see that working, actually...




:hug: Let's try to stay out of jail though. I despise being trapped. We can still have some fun though, I have a way ;)




So, what kind of "playing around with Ti situationally" would you consider as crossing the line into something that is wrong? Is it at the point where it hurts people or is it something prior or different from that?

Bold 1: I think that's it exactly. My Ne is this silly outfit I don for the world. It allows me to be creative and (kinda weird...) but fun at the same time. My Fi is SRS BSNS.

Bold 2: Sounds like fun! :D I :heart: ENTP fun. :) (Especially ENTPs who have developed their Fe.... /swoon!)
 

William K

Uniqueorn
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Aug 13, 2009
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4w5
Why Fi'ers? Why?

Standard Dislaimer : All thoughts expressed below are personal views and are not necessarily true for other INFPs

First a quick description of how I 'feel' Fi (tinged with 4w5 individualism and sp/so conflict-avoidance). It's a visceral feeling in the gut, the thing that makes you look away from a horrific scene in a movie like 127 Hours or brings tears to your eyes when you hear an uplifting story or piece of music. It also tends to pick up the mood in the surrounding environment and recognizes when discordant feelings are clashing. It might be mental but to me it feels like a physical reaction.

I've alluded to this in different threads, but for me the main reason I tend not to express myself more is because of how subjective my decision-making process is. Unlike T where you have a logical, factual framework that you can share with another person. In the 6.5+2.5 example, I would assume that the person I'm talking to understands maths and the numeric system so we already have some base to work from. In the case of Fe, there is at least some common-sense, shared-value thing going on. Fi-based decision-making can look totally alien to the person you are trying to explain yourself to. Imagine liking a type of food that most other people find disgusting. How do you explain that specific taste that you like when you are not sure that others would taste it the same way? For all the beauty and variety of human language, there are some things that you have to 'feel' and 'experience' to know what it's like. And explaining in detail why I made a decision would require at least partially exposing my value system.

On putting a dam/wall/shield around the inner self :
When I was growing up, the difficulty of explaining my feelings and constantly getting them invalidated by friends and peers have made me ultra-defensive to expose myself. Since the core values I have are very personal to me and have been gathered throughout my entire life, anything construed as an attack on them will feel like an attack on me. And since having to defend my values (and myself) would raise those discordant tones I mentioned above, my first instinct would always be to shut down and get away from this noise.

On not asking or stating what we want :
I tend to be a "Do not unto others what you don't want them to do to you" kind of person. Hence the feeling of not putting an obligation on others and expecting them to choose to do things of their own free will. Speaking out and asking for something I want would feel selfish that way. Yeah, I know the "But we can't read your mind" response and I've been trying be more assertive but that has to be a manual over-ride.

On pyrrhic victories and empathy :
Have to agree with Saturned here. While I can hit back and 'win' arguments, I choose not to mainly because the price is not worth the prize. So I convince someone else that I'm right, whoop-de-doo... The gift of being able to be in someone else's shoes and see/feel things from their point of view is also a curse since that means I can imagine what it feels like to be on the receiving end.
 
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