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  1. #381
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuchIrony View Post
    How are your interactions with INTPs? Do you get along well with us or not? Be honest here. I ask because in some ways I think INTP and INFP look similar on the surface- shared auxilary Ne but in terms of the dominant function, which is introverted they are worlds apart.
    You're right sometimes it can be world's apart. There can be some hurdles with the surface elements, but usually once you get over those it's fine and dandy. Often my first reaction is, "god, he's/she's so weird" - but then I realise how weird I come across, so I try not to hold it against them.
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    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  2. #382
    defying your expectations SoraMayhem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuchIrony View Post
    How are your interactions with INTPs? Do you get along well with us or not? Be honest here. I ask because in some ways I think INTP and INFP look similar on the surface- shared auxilary Ne but in terms of the dominant function, which is introverted they are worlds apart.
    I get along extremely well with INTPs, most of my best friends in the past have been this type. We have great conversations, the shared Ne + Si allows us the same basic thought patterns, while the difference in Te/Ti and Fi/Fe make conversation interesting.
    4w5-1w2-5w4 -- RLUAI -- Chaotic Good/Neutral

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    Ask me about my crippling social dysfunction!

  3. #383
    actinomycetes raindancing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I am not sure if I am answering this correctly, but I know occasionally I get haunted by an idea and I am afraid I will do it without realizing it. In my last apartment there was a garbage shoot and I was forever worried that I would accidentally drop my pet bunny down it. So everytime I went to throw garbage I would triple check where she was.
    I do this too! (Though not with pet bunnies... but that's probably because I don't have any.)
    “Can a man of perception respect himself at all?”
    ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

  4. #384
    actinomycetes raindancing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post

    Like others have said intentions matter a lot. If someone does something wrong or inconsiderate I often try to work out what their possible motivations could have been, so as to not unfairly judge their behaviour. However, sometimes intentions explain, but do not excuse, bad behaviour; you can't always ignore the negative impact of something that was done for positive reasons. Good intentions devoid of reasonable awareness or forethought can be particularly dangerous.
    I would agree with this.

    However, in comparing my INTP to myself, I seem to place more emphasis on intent. A lot of times he isn't even aware of the other person's intent, whereas I will spend considerable time trying to understand it. In general I don't do much judging of other people, being more interested in understanding their motivation/perspective/reasoning etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by SuchIrony View Post
    How are your interactions with INTPs? Do you get along well with us or not? Be honest here. I ask because in some ways I think INTP and INFP look similar on the surface- shared auxilary Ne but in terms of the dominant function, which is introverted they are worlds apart.
    Well I've been in a fantastic marriage with an INTP for 14 years so I'm perhaps biased. We have a lot of similarities, I'm sure the shared Ne was a big reason we connected so instantly when we first met. The first few years were a bit up and down (though mostly up). (More for me than him, I would say. I think he was oblivious for the most part.) I was so sensitive back then, hyper aware to any sort of negativity or rejection. Also I was recovering from emotional abuse, which wouldn't have helped.

    Eventually I came to understand that being direct about my needs was crucial. He was more than happy to fulfill them, but if I didn't say anything he was oblivious --It wasn't that he didn't care. This was really hard for me to accept. I felt like, if I ask it doesn't count, or at least loses a large part of its meaning. A perspective shift was needed. But once that was achieved I became much happier.

    Another thing that used to get to me was his habit of throwing around scathing comments about random people. One of those things I originally found attractive. (what's the saying, every girl wants a bad boy who'll be good just for her?) We would get in these 'discussions' with me defending the poor maligned random person. Enumerating the many possible reasons about why they might do this thing, why it wasn't fair to make a judgment with so little information. He would vacillate between irritation and amusement.
    One time he finally burst out, "Why do you defend everyone but me!"
    It left me in stunned silence. For a moment anyway. Then I said, "I'm not defending them, I'm trying to balance your negative judgments! And when did you ever need defending?"
    Which evidently wasn't the answer he wanted because the rest of the drive proceeded in silence.

    That has been the subject of much discussion by us, and it (mostly) doesn't bother me anymore. For the most part his judgments about people seem to be very lightly held. Judgment probably isn't even the right word, perhaps it's more of a observation? He might throw me some snarky comment about X, but it is more something that occurred to him in the moment and he doesn't even know if he believes it. So I've learned to lighten up and enjoy his humor, cause he is fantastically sharp.
    ...I think part of the reason he would get annoyed when I defended someone because it would put him in a position where he had to back his comment, and a lot of times he didn't believe it enough to do that. Does this make any sense?


    I know you said that Ti and Fi are world's apart, and in a sense it seems that way, as can be seen in the examples I mentioned above. But at the same time it feels like we think very similarly. When we talk about things, analyze together, our minds have no trouble following each other. It's like a mental dance, our conversation and thoughts twinning together, higher and higher, or broader and broader. I doubt an outsider would be able to follow, so much is left unsaid. One of us might say something, the other responds, a moment of silence while our minds internally follow the threads, another response touching on some linked idea. And on and on.


    I could go on... but I'm suddenly feeling the hideous weight of self-consciousness
    “Can a man of perception respect himself at all?”
    ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

  5. #385
    Member CreativeCait's Avatar
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    How come sometimes your 'normal' filter breaks and you don't even realise it??

    Like when you're coming off as rude or a little bit crazy or intense...being a bit too free with being yourself?? Eg:

    1) Normally being very selective with words but sometimes blurting out things or body movements that are terribly rude or ridiculous

    2) Laughing way beyond normal at something no one else is finding funny (like the way a character is doing something on a TV show)

    3) Saying something or acting in a way that comes off as terribly intense to others, when you thought you were being very mild in your response (sitting next to someone you are attracted too, or alternatively being stuck in a social situation with someone you can't stand to be around who is making you really uncomfortable, or when bringing up an issue/problem with someone etc).

    for being exceptionally ridiculous and not realising it until someone points it out to you

  6. #386
    actinomycetes raindancing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CreativeCait View Post
    How come sometimes your 'normal' filter breaks and you don't even realise it??

    Like when you're coming off as rude or a little bit crazy or intense...being a bit too free with being yourself?? Eg:

    1) Normally being very selective with words but sometimes blurting out things or body movements that are terribly rude or ridiculous

    2) Laughing way beyond normal at something no one else is finding funny (like the way a character is doing something on a TV show)

    3) Saying something or acting in a way that comes off as terribly intense to others, when you thought you were being very mild in your response (sitting next to someone you are attracted too, or alternatively being stuck in a social situation with someone you can't stand to be around who is making you really uncomfortable, or when bringing up an issue/problem with someone etc).

    for being exceptionally ridiculous and not realising it until someone points it out to you
    Oh that used to bother me so much... it got to a point where I held myself under such strict control lest any of those things happen, that interactions lost all meaning or depth. I was frustrated I could never be myself, and yet I was afraid to be myself.

    I'm getting better though... making conscious efforts to use my Ne has helped. Embrace the ridiculous. I've decided, I just am intense. If someone doesn't like it or thinks it out of place, well whatever.
    It's actually interesting, when people expect me to be like this, they just accept it as normal. Really the intensity has only drawn people. Which was shocking at first.
    I think people just look at me and think "She's one of those creative artist people." And then I become acceptable.

    (I dyed my hair bright red recently, a sort of exercise in forced extroversion. The reactions have been interesting.)
    “Can a man of perception respect himself at all?”
    ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

  7. #387
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CreativeCait View Post
    How come sometimes your 'normal' filter breaks and you don't even realise it??

    Like when you're coming off as rude or a little bit crazy or intense...being a bit too free with being yourself?? Eg:

    1) Normally being very selective with words but sometimes blurting out things or body movements that are terribly rude or ridiculous

    2) Laughing way beyond normal at something no one else is finding funny (like the way a character is doing something on a TV show)

    3) Saying something or acting in a way that comes off as terribly intense to others, when you thought you were being very mild in your response (sitting next to someone you are attracted too, or alternatively being stuck in a social situation with someone you can't stand to be around who is making you really uncomfortable, or when bringing up an issue/problem with someone etc).

    for being exceptionally ridiculous and not realising it until someone points it out to you


    I don't usually disclose/express, so when I do, my lack of experience shows. Introverts, especially those with weak Fe often have a hard time gauging what/how much they should disclose.

    I am currently working retail, and I crash and burn so many times during the day. Well a lot of times I didn't think I did, but a coworker will approach me later and say something like: "YIKES! That was painful!" But the weird jokes and overly personal style often endears me to customers as well. I'm guessing because it makes me appear less scripted and more genuine than most phony salespeople.

    What I'm trying to say is that I'd rather have a few, intense and unlikely relationships, than a million predictable and shallow ones.

    That being said, I'd still like to minimize the crashing and burning

  8. #388
    Member CreativeCait's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    INFPs,

    How do you feel about intent versus impact?
    I feel like they move in concert with one another. The greater the negative impact is, the greater the positive/justifiable intent needs to be for me to overlook it. Similarly, the greater I feel the impact affecting how I feel inside myself for the worse, the less willing I become to understand the intent and excuse the behaviour. It's an entirely unique, complex and subjective exercise for every single situation where intent, impact and liability are considered.

    Having said that, the extent to which I value a positive impact depends greatly on the intent. If the intent is unpalatible to me, the impact begins to sit uncomfortably with me too, no matter how beneficial it might have been.

    The intent is aways endlessly fascinating to me in any circumstance with any person. I spend a lot of time thinking about this...not passing judgement necessarily...just musing on what people's intentions are...

  9. #389
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Dear Infps, how come that everytime I am searching for questions, I never find one ?
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #390
    Junior Member Ronaldo's Avatar
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    I would like to ask you something because I'm still unsure if I'm one of you or I am an isfp. Is the difference between us our interests? If you could read a book or watch a football game which would you pick? I'd pick the football game as its more ''lively'' and I don't like spending leisure time trying to comprehend complex ideas, as I see leisure time as a time to zone out, even if I can understand perfectly what those ideas are. Also I heard a way to tell S or N is by describing a picture. When I did it I pointed out the details and not make ''impressions''. The trouble is I lack the coordination and am sometimes unaware of my surroundings as I daydream alot (but when I am consciously focusing outward I am quite aware) , this is making me unsure.

    Or am I getting mixed up here?

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