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  1. #261
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Dear infps,

    do you tend to tell your nights dream to your partner in the morning ?
    lol! (I think this is a girl thing.) I only do if I have had a nightmare and I want to be comforted from it. I have had really bad nightmares my entire life. I also do it as a "heads-up" that I am feeling crabby/anxious/worried and it stems from the dream and how real it felt.

  2. #262
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oakysage View Post
    A misunderstanding. I do not mean projection bias. I talk about the way an INFP displays himself once he/she is feeling emotionally discontent. How do they act?
    It depends on the circumstance and who I am feeling discontent with.

    My natural inclination is to distance myself and withdraw emotionally. With effort, and the right person, I will speak my mind. (This is almost always the better option... although again... instincts make me want to retreat to my Fi shell and deal with it "on my own."

  3. #263
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    My question is about #5. It seems to me that INFPs have very strong visions about themselves... like who they are and what they want and their place in the world. <- This is a wonderful thing, but how does an INFP handle things when one's vision about oneself/ one's life doesn't match up with the facts.
    Sadly, this does ring true to who I was in some past relationships. The foundational problem that I have discovered is that I simply did not really know myself, like myself, or allow myself to be me. I was too busy trying to fit into some bizarre role I had invented in order to be happy and with someone. When we are in this negative flight path, it is REALLY tough/impossible to accept and face reality. We can be masters of our own demise in this regard.

    In my situation I was with the complete wrong guy... I was living with him and some other roommates... My parents HATED him, and he caused a giant rift between them and me to the point of where I didn't speak to them for 8 months. And during most of that time we weren't even officially together anymore. But I was convinced that I had to make it work or I would be forced to face the reality of the misery of my life completely. Finally I broke down and called my parents and asked for help, and that started me down a much healthier path. But it took A LOT of crap to get me to finally admit it.

    Today, the person that I am, would not do that.

    My only advice to you is that you just "be" there for her as a friend. It may take awhile, but eventually this glass castle will crash and she will be devestated. But be there as much as you can possibly be... Just don't "write her off" totally. Let her know that you will support her however you can. You can lead the INFP to the koolaid but you can't make us drink. And we can be VERY stubborn when we are in Delusional Land.

  4. #264
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Dear INFPs: Have you ever done something very, very petty? If so, what do you feel about it - shame, regret, anger?

    Pandas!

    Of course... we are human. I feel shame when I have been petty. I feel like I have let myself down and let others down, and that I need to rise above myself at times and do better.

  5. #265
    Señora Member Elfa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Dear infps,

    do you tend to tell your nights dream to your partner in the morning ?
    Yes!

  6. #266
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    Does this behavior ring true to any INFPs? If so what can I do to be supportive of her, true to myself, and not drive her away?

    Your comments are greatly appreciated.
    I'm pretty sure your friend knows exactly how bad her marriage is. I imagine its very hard for everyone else to know your relationship sucks and she is probably trying to put up a front in an effort to keep the issues private. Sometimes, I can hate how someone is treating me but will openly defend them if others criticise them for it. INFPs can have devil's advocate issues.

    An additional possiblility is that many INFPs expect dissatisfaction in life and will blame themselves for feeling this way - she may be trying to focus on the positives to counteract this dissatisfaction. She may also simply be clinging on because she struggles for the strength to leave him.

    It sounds like you did the right thing talking to her but if she isn't responding to that, you're going to just have to keep quiet and support her. Don't make the husband the issue (eg. by bad-mouthing him in front of her etc) and avoid talking about it. She needs to have you on her side and not feeling like you're making her choose between you and her husband. Its pretty tough to do nothing but sometimes we need our friends to respect our decisions more than we need them to help and protect us. And INFPs are stubborn people - we need to reach a conclusion on our own.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  7. #267
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Question: Which is preferable: Doing good things for bad reasons or doing bad things for good reasons? (It is supposed to be vague)


    What? Ain't I allowed to consider it cute?
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  8. #268
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    Question: Which is preferable: Doing good things for bad reasons or doing bad things for good reasons? (It is supposed to be vague)
    At least to me the intention is more important than the outcome. Outcomes can turn out to be almost anything, because none of us know enough of anything to be able to predict future. Intentions can be pure.

  9. #269
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    Question: Which is preferable: Doing good things for bad reasons or doing bad things for good reasons? (It is supposed to be vague)


    What? Ain't I allowed to consider it cute?


    One of the cutest so far!

    However, I'm uncertain about your question. Sometimes I do good for good reasons. And sometimes I do bad for good reasons.

    But I don't understand doing good for bad reasons.

    I think I'd need an example.

  10. #270
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    Question: Which is preferable: Doing good things for bad reasons or doing bad things for good reasons? (It is supposed to be vague)
    Dammit, I'm an INFP; I like win-win situations. Don't ask any moral dilemmas, because they just stress me out.

    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

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