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  1. #241
    Anew Leaf
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    Fellow INFPs: Do you ever have a "poker face"?

    I, for one, do not. Well, unless I am really aggravated and I am in Te-Shields up mode... but then again, I am mad and probably radiating that fact from here to Helsinski. I have tried playing card games with friends, and I can't hide what I have at all. I may as well just show the cards to my friends.

    Typical card game:
    *Cards dealt out*
    Me: (Oooh! Two Queens! Let's play this cool, ok?) *external gasp of delight heard by everyone but me* I...... call.....
    *Five people fold*
    *Last two call with exasperated looks on their faces*
    *Flop comes: 4-10-Q*
    Me: (Dancing ponies run through my head.... but PLAY IT COOL!!!) *external gasp of delight that everyone but me hears* I.... raise..... 10...
    *two people fold*
    Me: (I won! but how?!) Yay!! *INFP dorky dance at the table*

    I finally asked a friend why everyone always folded and he explained that I always make this gasping sound when I get the card I want. I don't even know that I do it.... so I can't change it... And another profession slips through my INFP fingers...!

  2. #242
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Fellow INFPs: Do you ever have a "poker face"?
    Yeah to a degree with amateurs but I'm sure an expert would read me like a book. I particularly suck at bluffing - I'm simply not convincing and get all panicky. Lying and deceit are not my strong suits even when its just a game.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  3. #243
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    In a literal game, I would not have much of a poker face. I tend to not be competitive or take games seriously, so I'm rather goofy during them. Of course, it could depend if we're playing for money or not .

    In life, especially in public, I have something of a poker face. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, I am reserved in my expressions, I keep my emotions contained, and I tend to appear aloof. All of this masks an inner intensity.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #244
    Señora Member Elfa's Avatar
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    I think I have some kind of happy poker face, cause, no matter if I'm happy, or worried, or sad, or whatever, people say I look happy; with a few exceptions. And when I'm want to hide something, I'm pretty good at doing a poker face. I'm not very good in poker, I tend to lose all my game money rather quickly, cause I'm not very good at knowing when I should fold or not, or I'm not paying much attention in the game, but people can't tell very well what I have in my hand.

  5. #245
    Señora Member Elfa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    1- Haha, I am NOW. I have spent most of my life not knowing what I want out of life. It took a lot of uphill battles, backsliding, and in the end it took some tough times for me to finally figure it all out. The biggest changes have come from the past 2 years of my life. I had to clean figure out what the most important things in my life are, and then I had to learn how to show my true self to people. I always thought I had to "find" myself... Oh life will be awesome if I could just FIND myself. No. The truth of it all is that I had to just BE myself. All other things just fall into place. I know what I want from life now, and I am no longer afraid to go for those things.

    2- Lol. I grew up Catholic... Guilt and shame I know them well. There are a lot of dumb things I have done in my life, and I used to beat myself up about them all of the time. One of the biggest changes I've made in my life is learning to let go of things. It's all about choice in the end, and I choose to not dwell on these issues anymore. They helped make me who I am today, for better or for worse, but I am no longer letting them affect my future. It is very tough to not 'go there" with these two emotions, because it's so easy to simply blame myself on things and internalize them. One thing I have learned is that it is far easier to say "no" to myself, than to other people.

    3- I have gotten more vocal over the years, but it occasionally still tough.

    For issues that are very personal to me:
    For me it's because Fi is such an internal process... that it can be very difficult/feel impossible to adequately explain to someone else. I dislike having external forces influence what I have come up with internally. I have found that I have an easier time with this if I am able to build the "road" up slowly with someone. Basically I will test the water and see how they react to me voicing an opinion. If all seems fine, then I will continue onward building up my trust with them as we go. This is especially important in relationships because it is such a natural instinct for me to withdraw and want to handle something on my own. However, I know that that will not help our relationship if I do that... so I work hard at counteracting this instinct as much as possible. Being with someone who has patience for this is huge. Once achieved the reward is a good relationship with me.

    For other issues:
    I have no problem with telling people my opinion. I may hold off if I think my opinion will offend/hurt someone. But if I get asked for my honest opinion on something... the odds are that they will get just that!

    4- Um.... yes and no. The majority of humanity - pass... The select few that I deeply care about? Definitely is a factor to some extent. In the end I still have to simply be myself though. But I do want to make my friends and family proud of me and the person that I am. I want to reflect back the love and support they have given me, by me being more loving and supportive.
    I can totaly relate to most you've said!

    Funny thing is that I'm actually cognizant of what I really want, but I'm not accepting of it, so I feel guilt and shame... I'm learning to accept some stuff about me... or not... it's a little confusing...

    Now I'm learning to let some things go - and it feels really good...

    Most people I know are catholic or evangelic; About personal issues, I'm speaking what I think more often - I used to say almost nothing at all; I've never had trouble voicing my opinions about non personal stuff, except when I might hurt someone; and I don't care for what most people think about me out there, but I care too much about what close people think...

  6. #246
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Moar quessiunz!

    1) Are you easily guilt-tripped?

    2) What do you sometimes envy in INFJs (or FJs in general)?

    3) Do you have a strong negative reaction to people who express emotions they're not really feeling ("phonies")?

    4) Is it hard for you to "cut off contact" with people?

    5) Do you usually need a strong case to sever bonds with people, or do you mostly go with your gut?

    Kittehs!


  7. #247
    Anew Leaf
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    I accept your sacrifice. The kittens were... delicious.

    1- Only if the person is someone I care about. Both my mom and maternal grandmother were guilt tripping queens.

    2- I envy the outward affection that NJs can exhibit. I am so much more guarded with my emotions... I wish I could more easily showcase my affections towards others better. I also envy their ability to pinpoint an answer out of thin air and be right about it. I have these abilities myself... but I don't trust them as readily. I was borderline on my J/P scale... and if it wasn't for the cognitive functions, I would be tempted to consider myself an INFX. At the end of the day I am glad to be an INFP but sometimes it would be nice to have an INFJ outfit. (Especially since it seems that everyone wants INFJs.... *Grumbles to self*)

    3- Yes. It's a trigger for me to put my Te shields up. I hate excessive amounts of emotion, and I especially hate any kind of fake emotion. I can spot fake emotion from a mile away.

    4/5 - It takes a lot to push me far enough that I will cut off contact with someone. It's kind of an exponential thing. The closer you are to me, the more evidence I will need to cut off contact completely.

    I guess an example I can give is the last guy I dated. We dated off an on for a few years, and finally ended it for the most part about 2 years ago. Last year right before my mom got sick he wanted us to try again, and I couldn't because I was dealing with my mom. He in turn got mad at me and cut off all contact with me. After my mom died he tried contacting me again. I was mad at him at first because he had been my best friend for years, and I felt abandoned by him when I needed him the most. I tried explaining these feelings to him and he just brushed it off with a "well, we both made mistakes" kind of attitude. Then he launched right into sex talk with me, and I ignored his advances until he got really explicit and said something along the lines of "oh you don't like me anymore? are you being a slut for someone else now? I know how easy you are." And that was when he leaped over my line in the granite floor and I decided that I was totally and utterly done with him. It really didn't take long... maybe 5-10 minutes of me speaking, to make him start crying, and I finished it with a "I never want to hear from you again because I don't care about you anymore."

    I felt bad for a couple days, taking time to mourn the friendship I had once had with him... and then I felt nothing. And I still feel nothing. He tried contacting me via gmail chat a week ago, and I was like, uh no. Fi has spoken and you are outside the Fi castle, you are beyond the shrubbery maze of Ne, and you can't even see the Te walls anymore.

    So it takes a lot because I am very forgiving... but if you push me far enough it will be a life sentance.

  8. #248
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Thanks again, Sat!

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I accept your sacrifice. The kittens were... delicious.
    Hm. I thought INFPs tucked kittens into their big hearts, like a magical version of Lennie Small...

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    1- Only if the person is someone I care about. Both my mom and maternal grandmother were guilt tripping queens.
    Were they the "someone[s] you care about"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    2- I envy the outward affection that NJs can exhibit. I am so much more guarded with my emotions... I wish I could more easily showcase my affections towards others better. I also envy their ability to pinpoint an answer out of thin air and be right about it. I have these abilities myself... but I don't trust them as readily. I was borderline on my J/P scale... and if it wasn't for the cognitive functions, I would be tempted to consider myself an INFX. At the end of the day I am glad to be an INFP but sometimes it would be nice to have an INFJ outfit. (Especially since it seems that everyone wants INFJs.... *Grumbles to self*)
    Huh? NTJs as well?

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    3- Yes. It's a trigger for me to put my Te shields up. I hate excessive amounts of emotion, and I especially hate any kind of fake emotion. I can spot fake emotion from a mile away.
    Even if it's the "I must be strong for him/her in this time of need"? Just asking.

    Also, if it's not too much of a bother, I'm interested in the answers of non-Fours to my questions as well... I imagine they must be somewhat different.

  9. #249
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    I had asked this question before but got no response. I suppose I'll ask it again in different words...

    I am quite curious as to the way the INFPs likes to project themselves when they suddenly feel emotionally hurt. Is it different from person to person?

  10. #250
    Member OmarFW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    1) Are you easily guilt-tripped?
    No. I feel guilty on my own volition, not from someone elses influence.

    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    2) What do you sometimes envy in INFJs (or FJs in general)?
    not really. i only envy other enneatypes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    3) Do you have a strong negative reaction to people who express emotions they're not really feeling ("phonies")?
    not really. only if they think they are actually experiencing those emotions and what they are really like.

    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    4) Is it hard for you to "cut off contact" with people?
    not at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    5) Do you usually need a strong case to sever bonds with people, or do you mostly go with your gut?
    usually I need a good reason, but if that reason is provided I have no issue doing it
    I WEAR A SOMBRERO TO WORK AND EAT TACOS FOR LUNCH AND FIRE MY PISTOLS IN THE AIR WHEN I'M HAPPY

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