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  1. #181
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    More questions! (And still trying to determine the I/E pref)
    So the more responces from diff INFP's.. the better =D

    1) I've heard it mentioned that INFP's can be difficult to read, leading into a poker face. How true is this?
    (I am usually extremely easy to read through facial expressions, becoming very animated, and will sometimes even notice people sitting at other tables or groups targeting in on me, i think, because of this.)

    2) How easy are you to excite and does this enthuse those around you?

    3) Do you find yourself butting into others business if one of your values is violated? (I find myself extremely verbal with my emotions, especially when a value is violated. ZERO fear in confronting another person and pointing out their complete disregard of others. Infact, I'm compelled to do this, and it takes tremendous energy for me to NOT say something.)

    4) How many of you are socially extroverted? (getting away from the cog here..) Do you regularly start up convo's with strangers? (I've noticed that if I am waiting somewhere, and someone else is also waiting, it is just unbearable to sit there awkwardly without atleast a little chit-chat, and I almost always initiate this.. but then tend to do more listening that talking once we get into it).. Do you regularly comment on ones appearance.. (like If i notice the chick at the grocery store dyed her hair.. I am compellted to comment on it)

    5) Would you feel comfortable ordering for someone you know fairly well?

    6) How comfortable are you with showing others your moody down-times? Do you hide this from even close friends, waiting until you feel happier to socially engage? (I feel tremendous pressure to be high-energy, exciting, and entertaining in groups. I do not like having people over to my house with out a myriad of options to entertain us, or a plan to go out and be entertained. Do you relate?)

    7) Do you prefer that another person tries to get to know you? Or are you comfortable taking the role of getting to know them? Do you feel awkward asking someone personal questions if you've just met them?

    8) Say you are somewhere new with new people and your a bit uncomfortable. Do you find yourself needing to be in some sort of action, rather than just sitting there quietly? (Ex. I met my ex boyfriends family, but was insanely nervous about it because i wanted them to like me so much, that i couldnt just be myself for fear that they'd think I'm weird (I am) but i also couldn't just sit there and do nothing. So I started playing games with the younger kids while he mostly talked with family.)
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  2. #182
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    1) I've heard it mentioned that INFP's can be difficult to read, leading into a poker face. How true is this?
    Poker face? Perhaps. People have told me that I look pissed off or grouchy even when I'm not feeling any of those things. Maybe people are just uncomfortable with neutral expressions. When I'm really, really excited about something, it'll show. I have a large, goofy grin and a big laugh. Oh, and I wiggle when I'm happy.

    2) How easy are you to excite and does this enthuse those around you?
    I'm pretty easy to amuse, somewhat harder to excite, but still, it isn't too difficult. I don't force my enthusiasm and excitement on others because I'd feel uncomfortable doing that, but sometimes it happens naturally. Genuine enthusiasm is something I express palpably--you'll know it when you see it, and I've noticed a lot of people like it and respond in kind.

    3) Do you find yourself butting into others business if one of your values is violated?
    I'm unlikely to butt into anyone else's business. I'll express my disapproval and distance myself from the situation unless I'm directly involved in it.

    4) How many of you are socially extroverted?
    I'm not socially extroverted in unfamiliar company. I try to avoid making conversation with strangers as far as possible and I hate schmoozing. I have lots of friends though, and I love spending time with them.

    5) Would you feel comfortable ordering for someone you know fairly well?
    Not comfortable at all. Hell, I'm not even that comfortable making recommendations to someone I know fairly well.

    6) How comfortable are you with showing others your moody down-times? Do you hide this from even close friends, waiting until you feel happier to socially engage?
    Not comfortable at all. I avoid social contact when I'm down and if I can't, I do my best to put up a facade of stoicism/indifference because I hate bugging people with my problems. However, I'm not very good at concealing my moody down-times even though I want to, since people seem to be able to pick up on them anyway. :|

    7) Do you prefer that another person tries to get to know you? Or are you comfortable taking the role of getting to know them? Do you feel awkward asking someone personal questions if you've just met them?
    I strongly prefer that another person try to get to know me, so long as they're not being pushy or overbearing about it. I don't feel comfortable being the initiator and I would feel incredibly awkward asking someone personal questions immediately after meeting them.

    8) Say you are somewhere new with new people and your a bit uncomfortable. Do you find yourself needing to be in some sort of action, rather than just sitting there quietly?
    No, I'm actually pretty okay just sitting there like a rock. It's uncomfortable but no more so than trying to distract yourself artificially with other things. (Incidentally, I hate how people these days immediately turn to their cellphones as a means of distraction because they're incapable of just sitting quietly with themselves for more than a minute at a stretch.)

  3. #183
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    I heard INFPs are really good at detecting lies, is that true?I'd like to make use of the opportunity to clarify that when i keep a blank face hearing something that bothers you, it doesn't mean that I don't care, ok?
    I can almost always tell when someone is lying. Even if I don't really know the details. It's about body language and demeanor.

  4. #184
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    how do you feel about the concept of "loyalty to someone"?
    I am very, very, very, very loyal to anyone I care about. However, I am this way simply because they have gone through my INFP "selection process." Aka, I've tested them out for manufacturer defects. I used to blindly trust everyone, and now I have learned to take a step back from the process and be more objective. The people I am v^4th power-ery loyal to now are INFP hand selected, and INFP approved.

    If someone you care about's values clash with your own, is it a deal breaker?
    It depends on what it is. I have purposefully siphoned down my values and ideals into a very small, compact, and extremely "me" arrangement. It takes a lot to hit one of them now.

    That being said. If someone does hit it, it can be VERY difficult for me to continue on with that person in a meaningful way.

    I have an example:

    One of my oldest friends was on Match.com last summer. She is very high maintainence and requires A LOT of male attention. She was "dating" two guys at the same time: one she actually liked, and one she couldn't care less about. The one she did like, stopped calling her, and she was emo.

    her: "WTF why isn't he calling me anymore?! Why can't he just be honest with me?! Tell me what you think!?!"
    Me: "Careful.... think about this. Do you really want me to tell you honestly what I think?"
    her: "Um, well.... no."
    Me: "Ok then."

    The second guy, that she didn't like AT ALL, continued to ask her for dates and she continued to say yes because "I want something to do on Friday night."

    One weekend they had made tentative plans to do something on a Sunday evening. Sunday morning she hadn't heard from him yet, and I get this emo text from her saying "Well, looks like I drove another guy away! He hasn't called me yet!"

    Sidenote: Treating people like crap and using people are hot button topics with me.

    I responded with, "You know for someone who doesn't like this guy... you sure care a lot about whether or not he calls. Oh and by the way, you are being a drama queen."

    Her: "Oh nevermind! he just called now. I really want to go to the state fair but it's so expensive that I don't want to pay for it, so I asked him to take me."

    Me (truly angry now): "You're kidding right? You don't like this guy but you are willing to use him to go to some stupid fair? Meanwhile, I recall you complaining about other guys not treating you right... You picking up what I am putting down here?"

    Her: "Oh lighten up! Talk to you later!"

    I fumed most of the day and had a very serious discussion with myself on whether or not I wanted to continue associating with her ever again. I decided I would give her one more chance after I had a serious talk with her. We talked a few days later and I didn't say anything about that I would end the friendship because of this, but I made it clear how not cool her attitude on dating was, and how disgusted I was with her.

    She has sort of "wised" up since then, but our friendship is definitely not as cuddly as it could be. If I see similar behavior in the future then I will extricate myself from the situation.

    Is it easy to "sever bonds"?
    Sometimes yes. In the above example... it would be "hard" due to me mourning a friendship that has spanned 15 years. But at the same time it would be "easy" because it would be me staying true to my Fi-compass.

    I don't relish severing bonds with people, and for most of my life I have had a really hard time doing just that. I am getting better now that I get myself.



    Overall I prefer having a smaller group of close friends, but I am learning to appreciate having a wider network of love.

  5. #185
    Anew Leaf
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    1) I've heard it mentioned that INFP's can be difficult to read, leading into a poker face. How true is this?
    (I am usually extremely easy to read through facial expressions, becoming very animated, and will sometimes even notice people sitting at other tables or groups targeting in on me, i think, because of this.)
    Only way I can do this is if I am Te-mode. Otherwise I am beyond easy to read. One of my ENTP best friends says he loves playing card games with me, because I always gasp when the card I want appears. (I didn't even know I did this until he laughingly pointed it out at our last card night.) If I am in Ne mode or Fi mode or Ne+Fi.... I feel like my emotions are dancing on my face like bacteria on the head of a pin.

    2) How easy are you to excite and does this enthuse those around you?
    My default mode is enthusiasm. (Can't spell "enthusiasm" without "ne!") I am (almost) always excited about something. "OMG THAT CLOUD LOOKS LIKE A BIRD!!!" "Ooohh!! SPARKLES!" "Did you know that Saturn can float in water if you have a water tank big enough to plop it in? Isn't that amazing!!!"

    I am usually requested by my friends in order to have a good time. I had a dinner party at the end of February, and on the day of the party we got a blizzard that dumped 15" on us. Everyone still showed up to my party even though almost all of my guests lived 30-45 miles away from me.

    3) Do you find yourself butting into others business if one of your values is violated? (I find myself extremely verbal with my emotions, especially when a value is violated. ZERO fear in confronting another person and pointing out their complete disregard of others. Infact, I'm compelled to do this, and it takes tremendous energy for me to NOT say something.)
    This is tricky. My belief in "I can govern myself just fine, you govern yourself just fine" overrides a lot of my knee-jerk reaction. When I can't allow what's happening to continue, then I am 100% willing to dive in and sort it out. If my Fi backs me up and I get my Te shield at the ready with Ne in the wings composing zingers, I am ready to do battle. *pulls out kleenex Te shield and charges*

    4) How many of you are socially extroverted? (getting away from the cog here..) Do you regularly start up convo's with strangers? (I've noticed that if I am waiting somewhere, and someone else is also waiting, it is just unbearable to sit there awkwardly without atleast a little chit-chat, and I almost always initiate this.. but then tend to do more listening that talking once we get into it).. Do you regularly comment on ones appearance.. (like If i notice the chick at the grocery store dyed her hair.. I am compellted to comment on it)
    I am perfectly contented to NOT speak to strangers ever. I would say 4/100 shopping trips have me randomly talking to someone else. I can make myself be alone even when I am not alone. I am working on being more social and I have started experimenting with talking to people randomly like this.... the problem is, is that I have this magnetic quality about myself that makes people think they need to tell me their life story.....

    example:

    Me: Wow, sure is raining hard out there!
    Random Person: *tears well into eyes* I think my husband may be wanting to leave me.... what can I do to save my marriage?!
    Me: *awkward* Um.... (*feels self getting sucked in*) why do you think this?
    RP: Well *sniffles* he started working later the past couple of weeks.... he comes home tired... I don't think he loves me anymore?!
    Me: *Te face palms self* Well.... could it be that he is working on a big project that he is worried about? Maybe they are downsizing and he's trying to make sure his job is secure...
    RP: I didn't think about it that way!! Say, you're awesome to talk to! You know, this one time at band camp...

    And so on and so forth. My stoic, frowny exterior is a cleverly concocted shell allowing me to disappear in crowds, purchase my 2 avocadoes, 4 bananas, and bag of lettuce, without having to deal with the above.


    On a less random side of talking to people - with my friends I am very chatty, laughy, make jokes, etc. If I am put into a position of going to a party with few people, I shove aside my natural inclination to disappear, and I talk to people, I am friendly, and I get to know them.

    5) Would you feel comfortable ordering for someone you know fairly well?
    Food? If I really have to, yes. However, I will second guess myself and triple guess myself. Even though odds are that I will be spot on.

    6) How comfortable are you with showing others your moody down-times? Do you hide this from even close friends, waiting until you feel happier to socially engage? (I feel tremendous pressure to be high-energy, exciting, and entertaining in groups. I do not like having people over to my house with out a myriad of options to entertain us, or a plan to go out and be entertained. Do you relate?)
    Initially I am not. If I feel safe and secure in my friendship and that person knows that I am not normally a basketcase... and won't judge me... Then I am ok with it. I find that if I just want to have a good cry and be understood and allowed to be emo, that I will call an NF friend. If I find that what I need is to be emotional but emotional with a purpose, I will call an NT friend.

    In relationships, it's always tricky at first. I prefer dating teh NTs. So sometimes I really just want to be moody/emotional and just be hugged. And othertimes I want them to say ok, dear... I know you are upset, but here is what we can do about it.

    Usually I just deal with my moodiness on my own.... so if I am moody around someone it's "kind of a big deal" and is a sign of trust from me.

    I feel some pressure to be entertaining a lot of the time too, so it's very nice when I have friends who will take me sadness and all.

    7) Do you prefer that another person tries to get to know you? Or are you comfortable taking the role of getting to know them? Do you feel awkward asking someone personal questions if you've just met them?
    I am more comfortable initially with me getting to them versus them getting to know me. I need to check them out first and see if they are "ok." My Ne mode is a good deflector while my Fi considers if she wants to make an appearance. On rare occasions I allow a simultaneous getting to know you approach.

    I definitely feel awkward asking anything remotely too personal too early. I have a secret horror of asking someone a question that makes them clam up. My empathy revolves around making people comfy with me and having a good time. And I think it works primarily because I don't "go there" very soon. Once I feel like enough trust has been established for that person within me.... then I feel a tiny bit more free to ask the deeper questions. It's kind of like being a surgeon of conversations. I want to extract important information by the least invasive measures.

    8) Say you are somewhere new with new people and your a bit uncomfortable. Do you find yourself needing to be in some sort of action, rather than just sitting there quietly? (Ex. I met my ex boyfriends family, but was insanely nervous about it because i wanted them to like me so much, that i couldnt just be myself for fear that they'd think I'm weird (I am) but i also couldn't just sit there and do nothing. So I started playing games with the younger kids while he mostly talked with family.)
    I have a great ability to sit quietly for days on end, and I know that that can be kind of strange. I love it when there are pets in someone's home so I can play with them. Kids can be a great distraction too. Or I will volunteer to help make the meal or clean up something. But yeah... I prefer doing something and being useful.

    You forgot one question:
    9) Will you INFPs still answer a question without the requested (and required) animal photo sacrifice beforehand?
    Sometimes, the clouds part, and a ray of sunshine appears in between.

  6. #186
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Thanks, Saturned!

    No one's answered the question I made in page 17, tho... Do you guys not love akitas?

  7. #187
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    An akita for you guys:


    Now, where do you clash with your non-INFP NF brethren, so to speak?
    Sensor Js: I clash because I have my head in the clouds and they keep trying to shoot me down from the skies.
    Sensor Ps: Eventually I want to talk about something besides makeup.

    (I keed a bit, I know you guys are more than just that.)

    NFs: Fe drama llamas.
    NTs: Te poking me too hard. Ti frowning at me.

  8. #188
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Sensor Js: I clash because I have my head in the clouds and they keep trying to shoot me down from the skies.
    Sensor Ps: Eventually I want to talk about something besides makeup.

    (I keed a bit, I know you guys are more than just that.)

    NFs: Fe drama llamas.
    NTs: Te poking me too hard. Ti frowning at me.
    Thank you so much, Sat! I was talking about non-INFP NFs, i. e. INFJs, ENFPs and ENFJs (sorry if that wasn't clear ''^_^), but your answer is also very neat!

  9. #189
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Thank you so much, Sat! I was talking about non-INFP NFs, i. e. INFJs, ENFPs and ENFJs (sorry if that wasn't clear ''^_^), but your answer is also very neat!
    ENFJ: I luvs them most of time. I luvs that they let me be kinda F-y with them. I don't love it when they get bossy and try to tell me what to do too much.

    ENFP: I luvs them when we can be all Ne together. I dun luv it when they poke me into being more outgoing.

    INFJ: I luvs them when they is in counselor mode and they see something that I don't. I don't love it when they try to make me get organized.

  10. #190
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    ENFJ: I luvs them most of time. I luvs that they let me be kinda F-y with them. I don't love it when they get bossy and try to tell me what to do too much.
    Lol! This reminds me of my relationship with my ex (INFP) <3. He did get suuuper irritated when I would bug him about handling bills and stuff like that. Oopsies !!! That was his main issue with me....my issue with him was that he was reallllly overprotective of me and he would also get jealous when I talk to other people (friends...even friends that were girls). Are all INFP's overprotective when it comes to their loved ones? Do you think ENFJ and INFP make a good love match?
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

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