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  1. #171
    Señora Member Elfa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WoodsWoman View Post
    Erm... How about marrying someone 40 years my senior? I was 20 and he was 60. I was 16 when we became a couple. Now 24 years later I'm his widow and I would do it all over again if I could - including living for 16 years without running water. Yes, that was me.

  2. #172
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    Yup. That was me!

  3. #173
    Glycerine
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    awwww that's cool.

  4. #174
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    INFP's... what are signs that your interested in someone?

    -Are you (in practice) ever forward with someone?
    -Do you have to know the other party is interested first?
    -Do you initiate, or create many opportunities for them to?

    And last, but certainly not least, how do you SHAKE someone your not interested in?
    -If I am interested in someone, then I respond positively to their efforts. I may make side glances at them & that sort of thing.
    -I am not forward at all. I admit that I am probably hard to read.
    -Yes. I have to be very sure they have interest before I will indicate my own.
    -I don't initiate. I'd like to think I create opportunities (purposely going places I may run into them, hanging out long enough for them to initiate a conversation, etc), but there have been times when I've run away like a frightened deer....

    -When I am not interested & want to be rid of someone, then I become much more direct. When I was younger I had problems with pity-dating, but even then, once I had decided it was not going to work, I became direct. Basically, if I don't like you, then you will know.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    Would you consider you have higher expectation on others or just as much as INFJs?
    I don't know if I have high expectations, so much as high standards. I know that may seem like the same thing, but it's not. I admit I am harder on people the closer I am to them, likely because I know their potential.

    I can't compare it to INFJs, because I have a feeling we likely have different ways of defining these things. I personally don't find the INFJs I know unreasonably high in their expectations though.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #175
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Dear INFPs:

    * Have you ever consciously masked your true feelings in order not to hurt/dissapoint someone? (That seems associated with Fe, so I'm curious)

    * Can you generally "agree to disagree"?

    Have a panda!


  6. #176
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Dear INFPs:

    * Have you ever consciously masked your true feelings in order not to hurt/dissapoint someone? (That seems associated with Fe, so I'm curious)

    * Can you generally "agree to disagree"?

    Have a panda!

    1- Yes. I think far too much of my life has been doing that. Pushing what I actually want to the back burner because "being a good person" means you don't make waves. However, thanks to the changes I have made in my life the past few years that isn't the case anymore. I know who I am now, inside and out, and that means I know what is actually important to me and what isn't. I still may feel bad that I can't help someone as much as they like, but I no longer think I am a bad person for it. Boundary lines have always been a challenge for me because I would put a bunch up, and someone would walk over them, and I would go, "oh.... sad.... I should.... do.... something.... meh...." My current boundaries are no longer willy-nilly and I will push back as needed. As INFPs we just don't have very good built-in natural defenses, so we have to purposefully construct them ourselves. Good gravy, where am I going with this anymore... does this make any sense?

    2- Almost always. If it's something small I prefer that to discussing something to death. I dislike "arguing" over nit-picky details with someone ad naseum. If it's something major like differences in religion or spirituality... I am always interested in hearing another person's perspective so long as they are just looking to inform me. If they are trying to shove their perspective at me then I will become stubborn and irritated. I am pretty happy with my own little thoughts and dreams, and I am pretty happy with other people having their own thoughts and dreams. I prefer some kind of harmony, and agreeing to disagree can be that way with the right person.

    I recently experienced this exact thing with my dad. He is getting remarried in a few months (my mom died about 9.5 months ago), and initially I was really angry about it. We both had our own viewpoint on the situation, and in a lovely paradox way we were both partially right. However, we realized that it was an impasse and that we would have to agree to disagree. I ended up being the one who needed to change to fit the situation the most. I had to decipher all of my feelings and realize that my love for my dad, and my desire that he be happy in life and taken care of and loved... trumped my desire to be "faithful" to my mom. And it allowed me to let go of a bunch of the grief I still had. Now I feel at peace with the situation, I truly do like this woman, and I no longer feel guilty like I am betraying my mom. Best of all situations.

    So to sum up: INFPs need time alone in their life to clean out their Fi Quantum Box and figure out what is actually important in their life... and then stick to that as their inner compass. At least this INFP needed that!

    P.S. Your Panda sacrifice is acceptable to us. Thank you.

  7. #177
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Thanks for responding, Saturned! Glad to see you again.

    Another question: how do you feel about the concept of "loyalty to someone"? If someone you care about's values clash with your own, is it a deal breaker? Is it easy to "sever bonds"?

    Have a chartreux, buddies!


  8. #178
    Señora Member Elfa's Avatar
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    I look like Saturned in doing that. I just love reading how is another INFP. xD

    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Thanks for responding, Saturned! Glad to see you again.

    Another question: how do you feel about the concept of "loyalty to someone"? If someone you care about's values clash with your own, is it a deal breaker? Is it easy to "sever bonds"?

    Have a chartreux, buddies!

    Beying loyal to me is very important, and little bit complicated sometimes... Usually, when I made friends, it meant for me that I had to be with them everytime, every day, in school or where I usually met them. So I used to talk to the very same people everyday, and I didn't meet much people wherever I went. When I went to college, I met like 3 people and I started walking with them; then I wanted to meet other people, talk and walk with other people, but I felt I HAD to be loyal to my "first friends" and be with them all the time. That was this year... Then I decided, with a little struggle, I wouldn't be disloyal to them if I just walked by myself sometimes and met other people, and that that would be actually good for me. Then I did it, and now I know a lot of people there. xD

    Sorry for possible bad english or too much repetitions, english is not my first language, ok?

    Nice cat. Beautiful yellow eyes.

  9. #179
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    2- Almost always. If it's something small I prefer that to discussing something to death. I dislike "arguing" over nit-picky details with someone ad naseum. If it's something major like differences in religion or spirituality... I am always interested in hearing another person's perspective so long as they are just looking to inform me. If they are trying to shove their perspective at me then I will become stubborn and irritated. I am pretty happy with my own little thoughts and dreams, and I am pretty happy with other people having their own thoughts and dreams. I prefer some kind of harmony, and agreeing to disagree can be that way with the right person.
    Very nicely put Saturned. To the question, I wouldn't even call it "agree to disagree". It's more like "Why do we have to agree?" or "Why do I need everyone to agree with me?"
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  10. #180
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfa View Post
    I look like Saturned in doing that. I just love reading how is another INFP. xD



    Beying loyal to me is very important, and little bit complicated sometimes... Usually, when I made friends, it meant for me that I had to be with them everytime, every day, in school or where I usually met them. So I used to talk to the very same people everyday, and I didn't meet much people wherever I went. When I went to college, I met like 3 people and I started walking with them; then I wanted to meet other people, talk and walk with other people, but I felt I HAD to be loyal to my "first friends" and be with them all the time. That was this year... Then I decided, with a little struggle, I wouldn't be disloyal to them if I just walked by myself sometimes and met other people, and that that would be actually good for me. Then I did it, and now I know a lot of people there. xD

    Sorry for possible bad english or too much repetitions, english is not my first language, ok?

    Nice cat. Beautiful yellow eyes.
    S'okay, Ms. Elfa, I'm also a foreigner. The reason I asked was that I wondered whether the INFP's moral perfectionism, combined with their flexibility, overrode their desire to form bonds... I am an amateur peruser of the elusive INFP soul.

    Quote Originally Posted by William K View Post
    Very nicely put Saturned. To the question, I wouldn't even call it "agree to disagree". It's more like "Why do we have to agree?" or "Why do I need everyone to agree with me?"
    That last question is usually answered either with "Because I'm RIGHT, dammit!!", "'Cuz I'm on teh interwebz!" or, more commonly, both. /OT

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