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  1. #161
    Senior Member tkae.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    INFP's... what are signs that your interested in someone?
    Immediately look down at the ground, pretend I don't notice them, and focus as intently as possible on hiding all signs of any interest whatsoever. Then somewhere in the back of my head I entertain the romantic notion of them noticing me despite all of my attempts to not be noticed, ideally thinking that it's cute, but then they don't and I get depressed.

    That's usually how I can tell

    -Are you (in practice) ever forward with someone?
    Never.

    Ever.

    -Do you have to know the other party is interested first?
    Before what? I have to know the other party is interested before I ever allow myself to think they might be interested. I constantly search for points of doubt in their interest, always assuming that I'm misunderstanding what their intentions are and that I'm about to make a fool of myself, so...
    -Do you initiate, or create many opportunities for them to?
    No, I never initiate. And if they find an opportunity I've created, then I consider it a critical failure. And if they still create an opportunity, they're using me for something.

    And last, but certainly not least, how do you SHAKE someone your not interested in?
    Avoidance, usually. But it depends on how overt they're being. If they're vocal enough, I'll give some sort of reason, always me being the one at fault, of why I can't reciprocate their feelings, how they're a great person and they'll find someone just as great as they are, they deserve it, and that I'm really sorry but there's no reason why we can't be friends, and then try to never speak of it ever again, never seeing them ever again being the ideal scenario.
    "Not knowing how near the truth is, we seek it far away." -Ekaku Hakuin
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    5w4 . IEI . Chaotic Good
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  2. #162
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    The one time I was really, really interested into someone I behaved like a complete idiot. I couldn't initiate anything and felt always completely awkward around her. Even if things look like she likes me, I am still so much with doubts. And when she took steps to get closer to me (I think), I didn't understand them at all first. I needed much time to get safer with the whole situation, and by that time it was apparently already too late and she lost interest and got together with another guy *sigh*

    I think someone has to have very, VERY much patience with me if she is interested into me. And she has to make it clear to me in a way that every idiot would have noticed it already long before me so that I understand it. I hope I will be better prepared myself for the next time though.

    edit:
    Immediately look down at the ground, pretend I don't notice them, and focus as intently as possible on hiding all signs of any interest whatsoever.
    Yes, I can relate, that was exactly how it was in the very beginning

    I constantly search for points of doubt in their interest, always assuming that I'm misunderstanding what their intentions are and that I'm about to make a fool of myself, so...
    That I can relate to as well.

  3. #163
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    An akita for you guys:


    Now, where do you clash with your non-INFP NF brethren, so to speak?

  4. #164
    Glycerine
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    haha, about the nonconformity thing, I must have been around REALLY weird INFPs. (or more generally, Fi doms) My male INFP teacher jokingly called me "hot mama" in the middle of taking a final and avoided me for 3 days. Another one wore blue devil like spikes in his hair in church.

  5. #165
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Yeah, I happened to have blue hair in church. The preacher actually tried to take me to the side and "admonish" me. He thought I was a bad influence or something.

    What stinks is I went there out of good will. It was just a friend's church. That was in my late teens when I chilled out and began exploring things like that more. If I had gone anytime before that, he might have been right.

  6. #166
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Would you consider you have higher expectation on others or just as much as INFJs?

  7. #167
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    Would you consider you have higher expectation on others or just as much as INFJs?
    I'm not really sure I know any INFJs or other INFPs...at least in life.

    I sort of would like to.

    What can I expect?

    What do I have a right to expect?

    Who makes such a law?

    If there is such a law, then am I responsible for any aspect of it?

    Are my emotions precipitating from a law of expectation? Is the other person therefore at fault for changing my emotions?

    No, I think my expectations are a matter of no law or convention. Should I get upset when one person used the wrong fork?

    No, no. I think I'm going to sever myself from expectations. Nobody will be subjected to my expectations, and my emotional life will not be subjected to other peoples' failures to meet expectations, whether such expectations are sanctioned by society or coming strictly from myself.

    Set everyone free from the prison of my mind, and set me free from expecting. I get more and more done with that idea I hope.

    Sure, I expect things. I expect the light to come on when I flip the switch. I expect the other car to stop on red. I expect workers to listen. I expect people to do their jobs.

    That's all fluid and society. Other than that, I trim more and more expectations; I have no more currency to offer.

  8. #168
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    What is the most nonconformist you have done? I like how some of you guys push boundaries.
    The most noncomformist things have to do with my daily life, actually. Just regular things, like, I have a lot more ascetic life style than most people, and I usually don't notice it myself. The other day I was called "radical" and I found it quite funny, since I try to live the most comfortable I can. My "comfortable" just seems to have a different meaning than it has for others.

  9. #169
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
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    I've been trying to think how to answer the "conformist" question.

    I guess I've been seen as different or crazy much of the time, and I don't know how to put this down to a few examples.

    Yet, I thought of my first job out of school. I went to work on a large plantation with antebellum mentality. In this, I was a white overseer. Yet, I was called a, "Niggar lover" by some of the other white workers.

    Are we talking about 1860? No, we are talking about 1996 in the Mississippi Delta.

    Thus, people assumed I was a racist, since my employer was racist, and maybe because I shaved my head.

    But, I helped a few people.

    For example, while I was there, I hung out with the only integrated Church, which was a Franciscan mission and school dedicated to educating poor blacks. So I went around at least once with this gay Franciscan friar, trying to recruit poor black children for the school.

    This kind of secret double-agent action went alright for a while until I went insane.

  10. #170
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    What is the most nonconformist you have done? I like how some of you guys push boundaries.
    Erm... How about marrying someone 40 years my senior? I was 20 and he was 60. I was 16 when we became a couple. Now 24 years later I'm his widow and I would do it all over again if I could - including living for 16 years without running water. Yes, that was me.

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