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Thread: INFJ Moodiness

  1. #1
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    Default INFJ Moodiness

    After many years of denying my mood swings, I've totally come to accept them in the past couple months. Provided, I've been stressed out, but regardless - they are here & not seeming to go anywhere.

    I've read here and there that INFJ's have the tendency to be moody (which I totally denied until recently). So for those that will admit it, how do you deal with it - or more importantly - CONTROL it?

    I've noticed it as a fundamental difference between my ISFJ boyfriend and I, so I am beginning to think it may be Ni influenced. He is SENSITIVE, but his moods are fairly even. I'm way more prone to flip outs or mood change at the mention of a word. I can identify the sort of things that set me off, but I can't seem to control the destructive thought process that follows & inevitably effects my entire mood.

    Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    The answer is frame of mind. When I am depressed I notice that my thoughts tend to be about the things I can't control in my life; such as the state of the world or the stresses of work. If I shift my thinking to the things I can control, such as whatever I want to eat, how much money I spend, how much effort I put into my work, or pretty much whatever I may be doing at the moment, then I instantly feel a great deal of relief. Once I get to that point, I can shift my thinking to enjoying the moment at hand by thinking about the things that give me pleasure or the ideas that delight me.

    I've noticed that I can go from suicidally sad to manically excited in about an hour by employing this method. Great care should be taken to not get carried away and get lost in fantasy, because such a dramatic shift in mood can result in strange behavior.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  3. #3
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    Uhhhh I don't know if it's true for most INFJs, but my mood swings are also fairly dramatic. It does paint a picture of us being difficult to deal with.

    My mood appears to cycle monthly... So I'm just going to attribute it as a bad form of the "non-existent" PMS. The downswings affects the way I see things, and to some extent my thoughts. Of control... I find it difficult. I try to keep it confine to myself so that I don't infect other people with it. I also try not to make any personal related issues during that period of time as damage control. Other than that... I don't know what else I can do. It's not going away...

    I'll take suggestions if people have any.

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    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    WARNING : The following will be oddly reminiscent of Kiddo's post above

    Mood + Swings

    the problem is not having something stable
    like good humor,
    to attach ourselves to
    if this does not happen naturally
    an artificial but definite injection of positivity works for me

    for example
    i will focus on the things that i have going for me
    which will vary from person to person
    because focusing on what one doesn't have is part of the problem
    and being grateful for the little things helps us not sweat things so much
    damn that J function to hell !
    lol
    I N V I C T U S

  5. #5
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Or, maybe INFJ's just have more of a tendency to notice or comment on their mood swings?

    Or, maybe they have a tendency to set unattainable and nonconscious goals more than other types?

  6. #6
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    Or, maybe INFJ's just have more of a tendency to notice or comment on their mood swings?

    Or, maybe they have a tendency to set unattainable and nonconscious goals more than other types?
    Interesting study... thank you for posting it!

    Hmmm nonconscious goals... the study needs to prove that we will naturally creative them... not just be artificially induced by priming. But that's a separate issue.

    Are we more likely to notice mood swings? Wouldn't the Fi dominant INFP be more likely to notice? We should ask them... how often do they experience mood swings!

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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    Or, maybe INFJ's just have more of a tendency to notice or comment on their mood swings?

    Or, maybe they have a tendency to set unattainable and nonconscious goals more than other types?
    Hey, it's all a part of our need to constantly self improve!

    Interesting article... I can see how that ties into the Ni Perfectionism that seems to plague many INFJ's. I'm constantly setting goals and working towards them - which is usually a blessing, but I suppose is also a curse. In contrast, do you feel you experience a similar sort of depression inducing perfectionism as a Ti Dominant? I wonder if the chaotic, unstable nature of Ni contributes to the swings & we just express it more as moodiness because of our Fe auxillary.

    Kiddo - I try to change my frame of mind & for periods of time, it really does work. However, I have a hard time with the initial shift of thought. As in once something is said or done to trigger a mood change, I have a hard time bouncing back. Maybe that's another problem... easily falling into the analytical freeze where the mood is just prolonged by a thought process that goes in circles & never really leaves my head. I notice that when my mood goes down, my ISFJ boyfriend never fails to say "You'll feel better if you stop thinking about it so much!".

  8. #8
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quietgirl View Post
    Kiddo - I try to change my frame of mind & for periods of time, it really does work. However, I have a hard time with the initial shift of thought. As in once something is said or done to trigger a mood change, I have a hard time bouncing back. Maybe that's another problem... easily falling into the analytical freeze where the mood is just prolonged by a thought process that goes in circles & never really leaves my head. I notice that when my mood goes down, my ISFJ boyfriend never fails to say "You'll feel better if you stop thinking about it so much!".
    You may be obsessing.

    It's a typical INFJ behavior. Once something bothers us, we can still feel it even when we push it to the very back of our minds, and so we try to analyze it away. Then it becomes an endless cycle because we can't reason away those bad feelings and we are paying them more attention than we should. We end up uncontrollably dwelling on the idea or emotion, even long after we have come to a reasonable conclusion.

    Meditation is what I usually do to get away from that. I like to find a safe place, relax, and then just listen to my feelings. Not try to analyze them, but just feel what parts of my body they are emanating from. And then I just allow myself to let it go and visualize loosening all those internal knots. Usually after I do so I feel a sense of inner peace, or even have a revelation.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  9. #9
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    i don't really have mood swings at all. there are obviously times when i'm anxious or uncomfortable, and i have to deal with those feelings. but i'm generally very emotionally stable.

    my most used coping mechanism is intellectualization; the feelings themselves i deal with privately or with a close friend -- they mostly don't come to the surface in my normal routine. when i do have a certain issue during routine times, i am quite aware of it -- it just doesn't HIT me until i'm in a comfortable enough environment to let it.

    (i'm enneatype 1)

  10. #10
    Senior Member Griffi97's Avatar
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    I also have mood swings. I can really identify with you guys who have admitted the same. I will be watching this thread for suggestions...

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