[INFJ] INFJ and dating: mysterious or charming?

[fragrance]

INFJ are known to be attracted to the mysterious. Yet on one thread here most INFJ answered they find the ENFP most attractive. So what attracts you more in terms of dating: The mysterious type (say INTJ or so) or the charming type (ENFP etc.)?

 

[Amargith]

I think you might be missing an option...the option where ENFPs can be quite mysterious themselves

 

[ilovelurking]

Yes. ENFPs can be quite mysterious.

....and it's not like I am being mysterious on purpose...but that's another story for another thread....

 

[Anew Leaf]

I think every type can be mysterious depending on the angle you are viewing them. I told an ENTX friend once that I loved how mysterious he was. He looked at me with a "huh?" face and said, what are you talking about? I say whatever is on my mind when I think it, I am quite possibly one of the most opinionated people I know, and I don't sugar coat it when I speak to most people.... Where's the mystery!?! I responded with, how you do it!

 

[Amargith]

^ I can sooo see that convo taking place, lol

 

[Ethan Bear]

Dude I love a good mysterious girl! Its one of me favorite qualities for the initial flirty phase

 

[Elfboy]

mysterious and charming usually go hand in hand. ENFPs and INTJs are both known for both these qualities

 

[Thalassa]

Wait, are you asking if INFJs like INTJs or ENFPs more?

I would say it depends on the INFJ.

And we all KNOW the world revolves around ENFPs and INTJs.

The rest of the forum is really gonna start to hate us at this rate.

 

[Kasper]

mysterious and charming usually go hand in hand. ENFPs and INTJs are both known for both these qualities

<-- I really did that when I read that post, honest! *wipes away tears*

I'm off to find me the unicorn known as the charming INTJ!

 

[Elfboy]

Wait, are you asking if INFJs like INTJs or ENFPs more?

I would say it depends on the INFJ.

And we all KNOW the world revolves around ENFPs and INTJs.

The rest of the forum is really gonna start to hate us at this rate.

they already do

 

[Amargith]

<-- I really did that when I read that post, honest! *wipes away tears*

I'm off to find me the unicorn known as the charming INTJ!

*hands Kasper temporary F-goggles good for one use to aid her in her quest*

Watch them transform before your very eyes

 

[violaine]

I'm an INFJ woman who strongly prefers introverted men. And the entire process of two introverts getting together. ENFP guys make for fun friends but I need that special intensity that certain introverted men possess. *swoon*

 

[SilkRoad]

I've been attracted to/dated both mysterious and charming.

Unfortunately (and I know this will sound bitter, but bear with me) I think in many cases the "mysterious" ones have been "mysterious" because they're a bit confused and they keep me off balance, and the "charming" ones have actually been charming to everyone and I've read a bit too much into it... At the moment I'm feeling particularly wary of charmers.

All else being equal, I think that currently if I were presented with an ENFP and an INTJ and had to date one of them, I would go for the ENFP. I would really like to date an NF man. However, I would really hope that he was relatively stable and not too flighty.

Type-wise I'm currently thinking my preferences would be for an ENFJ, ISFJ, possibly ENFP, possibly INTJ, or possibly ENTJ. But I don't really like to look at these things in terms of type - it would be more like "hey, I'm now with a great guy who I seem compatible with! What is his type so we can understand each other better?"

 

[fragrance]

No, I'm not asking specifically whether you prefer INTJ or ENFP. I'm asking: mysterious or charming? ENFJ are also charming, or generally NFs seem to be the most charming people on earth.

For example, I don't find mysterious people attractive at all. I think all this obscurity is a waste of time. One could as well just reveal one's self. Also, mystery doesn't last... You can't be mysterious forever, but one can be charming for a long time.

 

[SilkRoad]

I think "mysterious" probably is a bit overrated. I'd definitely go for "interesting" - in fact, up to a point I think that's a must. But "mysterious" in a lot of cases probably just means "confused" or "playing games".

"Charming" can also be overrated or dangerous. I am far too susceptible to charm. I have decided that I need to be VERY watchful if I find myself being charmed by someone. At least, as far as watching out for whether he's being charming specifically with me, or just with everyone...if the latter, there's probably very little point in pining (a mistake I have made before). And if he's being charming specifically for me, is it accompanied by sincere and honest actions?

 

[Crescent Fresh]

For example, I don't find mysterious people attractive at all. I think all this obscurity is a waste of time. One could as well just reveal one's self. Also, mystery doesn't last... You can't be mysterious forever, but one can be charming for a long time.

This is so true. And of course, if one can be both mysterious and charming, they can turn into ENFP Cupid, who blindly shoots their love arrows to any target around them.

 

[chachamaru]

Annoying. Frustrating. Sometimes down right evil.

Other times, sweet and anticipates your needs before you recognize your own needs.

I don't like the insight they have into people. Can break hearts. Or at least waste time.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

Annoying. Frustrating. Sometimes down right evil.

Other times, sweet and anticipates your needs before you recognize your own needs.

I don't like the insight they have into people. Can break hearts. Or at least waste time.

I would like to hear your elaboration to this, if you don't mind.

 

[chachamaru]

I would like to hear your elaboration to this, if you don't mind.

It's based on my lone experience with an INFJ. We had amazing chemistry. He had a disease, and didn't want me to catch it, so it was weird. A constant yo-yo effect. He ultimately gave me the choice to further the relationship, but it was under the guise of saying that he didn't think I was good enough for his family. He played my emotions quite well, and for everyone's benefit. He protected his feelings outwardly, and my physical safety.

 

[Argentum]

*hands Kasper temporary F-goggles good for one use to aid her in her quest*

Watch them transform before your very eyes

I married an INFJ. Apparently, I have my moments.

Sure, we have our Te/Fe clashes from time to time...but we function as an efficient team.