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  1. #21
    A Mystery Jacques Le Paul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    <-- I really did that when I read that post, honest! *wipes away tears*

    I'm off to find me the unicorn known as the charming INTJ!
    I did too hahahah a charming INTJ! ohh this made my day!

  2. #22
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    <-- I really did that when I read that post, honest! *wipes away tears*

    I'm off to find me the unicorn known as the charming INTJ!
    I finds one!


  3. #23
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I finds one!



    LMAO!!!

  4. #24
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    the opposition doesn't really matter. Ne vs Ni matters more, but it kind of depends on the overall flow of your support system, work, etc to actually CHOOSE. in my experience, games naturally develop with any N dom type. Ne creates way more flow and steady breathy presence, and the applicability and confidence in the interaction and partnership grow much faster (but not necessarily the trust or consistency). if you've met a really steady (integrated) N dom of either type, it's pretty great.

    i think the bigger thing for me at this point is figuring out enneagram types and instinctual compabilities. i've always liked 7w6s because they know how to not embarrass you, and i've always been good at getting embarrassed. i don't think that's really as big of a problem any more, so i think i need that less. yet, their enthusiasm is also pretty great. i find 7w6, 3w4, 4w5 as the most viable for me. i'd consider 9w1, 1w2, and 7w8, but i've never really felt sparks with those types (tho, admittedly, i think it's also because of what i needed and what was possible for me to accept, and what i wanted others to accept from/as me).

    i also think i've done work to accept a wider range of instinctual subtypes. i think so/sx, so/sp, sp/so, and maybe sx/so all make sense for me now. maybe sx/sp too. i'm not really worried about it, i've just kind of realized how fast you can learn about the world from different perspectives. i have a ton of so/sx types right now, and they're teaching me how to play social games better/more enjoyably.

    i'll see infj/infp/intj girls or 4w5/5w4 and be very interested; it's just so easy to see what/who they are, because you just get it. the immediate empathy is so high. and you just see the complexity and the bottomless spiral and it's already the most real thing to you because you know it so intimately because it is what you are too. at the same time, the Ni/Ne dance is pretty great, and the energy they bring can be very catalyzing, expansive, and challenging. bringing an experiential perspective into your life helps you perceive the world in a wholly new way which is kind of exhilarating but, at the same time, not everything. it really depends on both parties recognizing and understanding the partial nature of themselves as individuals and having space for something wholly different than them in their mental and emotional landscapes. it is way better once you realize that you don't just get what you want, that you have to do the work to fix what you want to make it more in line with what you really want, which you have to discover. and you have to do the work to become a better person in order to be ready/prepared for that. it takes a lot of the pressure off i think. it's fair i think to still feel like pacing when you're listening to music late at night and want your emotional energy to GO somewhere, to be turned into something. but to know at the same time that a relationship isn't just a moment or an image or a projection but a real story that emerges from separate strands of stories.

    also, you gotta bring something better than "mysterious or charming" to the table. oh Te, i want to pinch your cheeks. with that said, i think i met my first intj 5w4 female recently. god how intriguing.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    But "mysterious" in a lot of cases probably just means "confused" or "playing games".
    Well I can tell you a lot of NFs think I'm mysterious or interesting and I'm neither "confused" (strong Te) nor "playing games" (also strong Te).

    And I think most NT here will tell you that they don't like playing games, out of the same reason that they don't like smalltalk: it seems irrational to them and a waste of time.

    Though I regard smalltalk as a necessity... there's actually a reason behind it. But playing games? What does that achieve? Personally I'm very annoyed by "games". It really doesn't make me interested.

  6. #26
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    Forced choice?

    I choose mysterious.
    the formless thing which gives things form!
    Found Forum Haiku Project


    Positive Spin | your feedback welcomed | Darker Criticism

  7. #27
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    I knew a guy once who was both charming and mysterious at the same time. Unfortunately, the mysterious turned out to be based in an unhealthy psychological state.

    The problem with both charming and mysterious, is that they are both attractive but (in my opinion) don't lead to healthy relationships. For a healthy relationship, you need honesty and some depth and charming and mysterious are both surface traits. Mysterious may seem deep, but all it really means is that the person is not willing to share about themselves as a genuine person.

    I married an ENFJ, but I have had a couple of ENFP friends. The ENFP's are some of the greatest people in the world, but they always make me really insecure. The reason they make me insecure is because they love absolutely everybody and have a million friends. When I see how much they love everybody, I start to wonder how much they actually like me myself. If I am going to be in a relationship, I would like to know that I am special to that person, not just one in a million.

    I can't even imagine being married to an INTJ. How do you defend yourself against their criticisms? How do you keep from becoming their project? This is assuming that most INFJ's would be sensitive to criticim like I am. For those of us that are sensitive, ENFPs would be way way better.

  8. #28
    Member Tofu562's Avatar
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    The only INTJ I've known was a very stereotypical chinese guy in high school, lol. Ended up graduating valedictorian in his class. He was pretty quiet and reserved, but I seemed to be able to pull him out of his shell a little bit and get him to laugh. I always had a fun time sitting next to him in chemistry. We have a mutual (female) INFJ friend and they get along really well. Probably better than I do with him, haha.

    I couldn't really see him being very critical about anyone though. But maybe that's more of a cultural thing than personality type.

  9. #29
    Junior Member the VORTEX's Avatar
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    i have been very attracted to both INFJ and INFP , both of whom i found mysterious and that was indeed a part of the appeal

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