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  1. #1
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Default NFP Under Stress

    This thread is for a closer examination of how NFP's, act under stress. :steam::workout:

    I've been delving a bit further into tertiary and inferior functions. I've tried to find practical examples of how the NFP use tertiary Si and Te. I read that when an Infp (not under stress) begins to develop tertiary Si, they will notice a draw to things like the arts, crafts, cooking, etc. An Enfp that begins to develop tertiary Te will become more interested in methods of organization, perhaps taking up a statistics class, etc.

    But I am still terribley confused by the shadow functions. We all hear that the INFP will go drill sargeant style ESTJ in the grips of extreme stress, barking orders and lashing out at people (more personally than impersonally) and that the ENFP will take the negative ISTJ shadow, becoming quiet, nitpicky, and throwing out attack after attack more focused on the idea or behavior, but how do we tell the difference when an ENFP comes across as ESTJ.. which is said to occur when the ENFP's Te becomes more developed (or is trying to become more active) than the aux Fi. (The Te bitch slap: NE-TE)?

    I am hoping that you NFP's are willing to share *practical* examples of how you behave under extreme stress. What soothes you? What gives you balance again? I fear that some may not feel comfortable with sharing this, as no one likes to fess up to their "Icky Side." Disclaimer: I am still unsure of my I/E pref.

    When I am under extreme stress, I can get crazy ESTJ. I can also become crazy ISTJ. It depends on the what the situation warrants. I think I might be ENFP because when things get really stressful (as they have been lately) I can't sleep. My mind goes ape-shit over all the things I need to do. All my unfinished projects. Where is my direction? How do I decide what priorities have greater weight? Etc. THe only relief that I find is when I get out of my mind and start doing shit. This usually involves staying up late to clean, organize, do laundry, prepare for things I wont have time to do later in the week. I make charts and lists of how many hours I'm going to work, what my paychecks should be, what bills will be paid off, what days I will do certain chores, my goals, what days I plan to meet up with friends I've pushed off for too long, (Do I stick to these things, not always.) Sleep when I die becomes my motto.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  2. #2
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    I go from being easy-going and/or playfully nudging people to being full-on evil school marm with a very sharp ruler.

    I sometimes go into hiding and become anti-social if I'm stressed, or I cry.

    I've also gone through periods of severe anxiety.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    I am not under extreme stress now but I remember when I used to be extremely, extremely judgmental and critical of everything for a few weeks. Everyone around me was incompetent, illogical and stupid. And I'd be quite expressive about it. I was irritated beyond belief during interactions when my usual state would be bubbly and optimistic. This was during exams during college while some other things were going on. I was also quiet and glaring. I don't remember the specific details. I hated it when people did not behave properly, had no class and was oblivious to social expectations. I blew little things out of proportion. I don't know if I was more ESTJ or ISTJ. I know I definitely used blunt Te, not sure about Si and how it'd manifest in me in combination with Te though. I was argumentative over everything and demanded everyone to explain themselves properly. When I'm stressed, I become insensitive, blunt and irritated. It's either the ESTJ persona or the Fi-Si loop. ESTJ is more reactive and external and Fi-Si Loop is more depressive and internal.

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    Senior Member tkae.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I go from being easy-going and/or playfully nudging people to being full-on evil school marm with a very sharp ruler.

    I sometimes go into hiding and become anti-social if I'm stressed, or I cry.

    I've also gone through periods of severe anxiety.
    This.

    Which one depends on what's set me off, though 90% of the time it's the former more than the latter, since anxiety is reserved for when I have anxiety attacks (or panic attacks if I'm off my medication).

    I have an angry mode, but it's not smarmy schoolteacher so much as sneering bastard.

    I give people the finger, I mutter under my breath, and sometimes I actually make audible noises that sound something like "go to hell" or "fuck off".
    "Not knowing how near the truth is, we seek it far away." -Ekaku Hakuin
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    Quote Originally Posted by tkae. View Post
    This.

    Which one depends on what's set me off, though 90% of the time it's the former more than the latter, since anxiety is reserved for when I have anxiety attacks (or panic attacks if I'm off my medication).

    I have an angry mode, but it's not smarmy schoolteacher so much as sneering bastard.

    I give people the finger, I mutter under my breath, and sometimes I actually make audible noises that sound something like "go to hell" or "fuck off".
    Nah I don't really act like a school marm. That was a joke on my name, and because school marms are stereotypically mean or harsh.

    I'm more like how you described yourself when I'm angry, except more audibly offensive.

  6. #6
    Member Anna intuitive's Avatar
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    Here's a recent example: I came back from pretty much three weeks away giving/attending workshops for work purposes, and my husband went into a long story about his health and his work, and I started shouting at him to get his life together and has he given up on life, and I am telling right now he has to go to the clinic on Tuesday (after the long weekend).

    What was going on behind that was that I felt very anxious about him - well - I felt I can't do without him, or don't want to, I don't want him to die. We are getting to that age now, so it's not totally unrealistic. And second, I was feeling guilty, and saying to myself, what kind of a wife am I not to see that my husband gets his life together, and to take care of his health.

    I was also trying to get him to wake up and do something about his situation.

    So this shouting bossy behaviour really was unlike me. Maybe quite ESTJ?

    And after thinking it through I just went back to my usual calm friendly listening mode.

    I decided it's not my job to keep him alive, and I started to accept that how he is is how he is.

    But that was me under a particular kind of stress.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anna intuitive View Post
    Here's a recent example: I came back from pretty much three weeks away giving/attending workshops for work purposes, and my husband went into a long story about his health and his work, and I started shouting at him to get his life together and has he given up on life, and I am telling right now he has to go to the clinic on Tuesday (after the long weekend).

    What was going on behind that was that I felt very anxious about him - well - I felt I can't do without him, or don't want to, I don't want him to die. We are getting to that age now, so it's not totally unrealistic. And second, I was feeling guilty, and saying to myself, what kind of a wife am I not to see that my husband gets his life together, and to take care of his health.

    I was also trying to get him to wake up and do something about his situation.

    So this shouting bossy behaviour really was unlike me. Maybe quite ESTJ?

    And after thinking it through I just went back to my usual calm friendly listening mode.

    I decided it's not my job to keep him alive, and I started to accept that how he is is how he is.

    But that was me under a particular kind of stress.
    Thanks for this info. This does sound like ESTJ shadow, depending on how you were attacking though. I'm sorry about your husband. Worry over health and loss has to be one of the hardest. I hope things work out for you and him. Sending NF loves
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

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    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    I'm going to bring something up here that I have not seen frequently mentioned in other inferior function writings. Jung claimed that beyond severe stress activating the inferior function.. another way that it can be activated is through the use of mind altering drugs. He said that the inferior function was really meant to remain unconscious, it was myers that focused on being able to develop each of the functions. I wonder if anyone has noticed their inferior at work with any mind altering agents? Its a bit funny to consider.. as I can't recall any LSD trips that turned me into an ESTJ or ISTJ, hahahaha. Actually, now i think about it.. I believe there might have been a pattern of ISTJ defenses kicking in when mind altering agents scared or confused me. Hmmmm. Too bad I won't touch those things with a 10 ft pole any longer... =)
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  9. #9
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    I get a bit shouty. Think Drill Sargent. I'll bark orders, get real mean, and a little insulting. All those horrible things I've been thinking and not telling you will be thrown at you all at once. And I will bring up ever transgession you ever commited. I will make you cry if I possibly can. I have to be pretty overwhelmed to get there, it tends to end relationships though.
    The worst thing is I won't even mean half of it.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #10
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I give up shut down unable to function on daily tasks nothing gets done I feel guilty so even less gets done I don't eat I cry (I usually don't cry) I feel like a failure.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

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