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Thread: What is Charm??

  1. #21
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly View Post
    I have noticed a lot of people using the word CHARM, when it comes to NFs (especially ENFPs). Words like:

    - "She is Charming"
    - "He will charm you into changing your mind"
    - "Natural Charm"

    So it got me thinking, what exactly is this CHARM??
    Is it flirting? Is it certain attributes or attitude? Is it same as Charisma?
    How does Charm play out in the real life situation?
    Any examples would be appreciated.
    I have an ISTP son whose primary positive quality is charm, yet it's difficult to describe.
    I think SPs come by "charm" most easily.
    It's an easy-going, easy-to-get-along-with quality.
    It's the ability to get other people to do what he wants by his goofiness, winning smile,
    and je ne sais quois with the batting eyelashes.
    It's the quality of not taking yourself too seriously, having effervescent eyes,
    and an adventuresome outlook on life - all rolled into one person.

    The current American Idol contestant, Jason Castro, has this "charm",
    although it's debatable whether he's an INFP or an ISFP. Based on his "charm" I'd say SP.
    (But that's circular reasoning, isn't it? Oh well.)

    watch this interview

    want more?

  2. #22
    Member typo's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is Charm?

    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly View Post
    I have noticed a lot of people using the word CHARM, when it comes to NFs (especially ENFPs). Words like:

    - "She is Charming"
    - "He will charm you into changing your mind"
    - "Natural Charm"

    So it got me thinking, what exactly is this CHARM??
    Is it flirting? Is it certain attributes or attitude? Is it same as Charisma?
    How does Charm play out in the real life situation?
    Any examples would be appreciated.
    I think we refer to something as "charming" when it makes us feel content in who or where we are. Small houses in the country can be charming, maybe because they relieve the pressure of a more demanding world. They demand nothing of us. Similarly, a person is charming, when they make us feel comfortable with ourselves. Charming people probably tend to be good listeners, humble in their own accomplishments, and accepting of others. Maybe a fourth ingredient for charming is optimism, which would make others feel more inclined to change their mind to the charming person's position.

  3. #23
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    ^Great avatar, great post
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

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  4. #24
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly View Post
    I have noticed a lot of people using the word CHARM, when it comes to NFs (especially ENFPs). Words like:

    - "She is Charming"
    - "He will charm you into changing your mind"
    - "Natural Charm"

    So it got me thinking, what exactly is this CHARM??
    Is it flirting? Is it certain attributes or attitude? Is it same as Charisma?
    How does Charm play out in the real life situation?
    Any examples would be appreciated.
    Such a socially lofty and interesting topic! The topic and manner in which you approach and question it leads me to believe you are inquiring because these statements about charm are frequently uttered by those when they are referring to you. And, rather than vainly accept this flattery, you are deeply and sincerely seeking to understand yourself--a very admirable pursuit.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    Beautiful replies! So much variety and depth in its meanings. Nice

    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    Such a socially lofty and interesting topic! The topic and manner in which you approach and question it leads me to believe you are inquiring because these statements about charm are frequently uttered by those when they are referring to you. And, rather than vainly accept this flattery, you are deeply and sincerely seeking to understand yourself--a very admirable pursuit.
    lol...Now THATS what i call charming!!

    (plus you are right)!

  6. #26
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    I thought about this as well and realized that while both charisma and a charming nature can be 'natural' charisma is much more powerful.

    Charismatic people aren't necessarily well-groomed, polite, or even pleasant. But they are strangely magnetic and can get people to pay attention in a positive way. Look at certain politicians, despots, and religious figures in ancient and modern history. Frankly, most of those men were and are absolutely NOT prizes in the looks department but some of them had/have that 'it' factor... Then again, some of what these men had going for them were political machines and access to lots of money, weapons, and inherited rank in groups but I'm sure some of them really were charismatic.

    I think of charisma as more a natural 'X factor' thing that pulls people. Call them pheremones if you will. You can teach people to increase their 'personal power' or influence, but charismatic people attract people. Period.

    There are definitely a handful of folks IRL who I think are varying degrees of charismatic. I might not even find them personally likeable, but I will admit they have a strange way of making disparate groups of people like and respect them (even when I don't). If you can only get popularity amongst one group of people, I don't consider that charismatic -- a truly charismatic person has a personal effect that everyone feels. Then again, you could say some people have 'strong auras' or strong presences, but it doesn't necessarily mean that people are drawn to them or they exercise influence over others, they just have a strong presence...um...damn, where am I going with this.

    Well, anywhoo -- charm is more an expressive act that I associate with good manners, awareness, and a desire to make people feel good and being good at it Charm is knowing the right thing to say, at the right time, in the right way, and to the right person. It's not necessarily being fake, because some people genuinely enjoy uplifting people and the mood. associated more with being suave, smooth, and socially polished. People really enjoy being around charming people, however they are drawn to charismatic people. And again, charismatic people are not necessarily any of the things that make a person charming.


    But wait...you could say everyone has their own personal 'charm' i.e. everyone's got their something. So I guess you could say 'charm' as a noun is that quality in you that is most attractive to people? So it can be different from person to person. Someone's charm might lie in their vulnerability and enthusiasm, and another's in their gruffness and sarcasm.

    Does that make sense?

    For the record, I wish I were charismatic. :harumph: Not even my brother's dog wants to play with me unless I have food or he's being ignored by everyone else. Damn him. Hahahahahaa.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  7. #27
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Apparently I have charisma, it's overrated, and only matters if you like to be followed.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  8. #28
    Senior Member Hirsch63's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    Edit: In fact, if you were unable to talk, your power to "charm" others would disappear.
    Note to self: Mute humans unable to charm.
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    Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings...Steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you a king

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