Have you ever told someone a lie to alter someones feelings for you?
I did recently. Although it has had the desired effect, (Win/Win?)
It's starting to feel like a loss for me.
I do care great amounts for this person and I know my lie hurt her.
I also feel like I damaged my reputation with this person.
At the time I didn't consider this, but I do care what she thinks of me.
She is an ex partner and has had difficulty in letting go.
I don't blame her on two counts.
First, I ended our relationship with a smack she never saw coming and so closure for her is going to be more difficult to obtain by default, and secondly: I am nice to her, I like her and care and I can't always hide it. I feel maybe this gives her hope and so she hangs on.
The obvious thing to do is cut off all communication. Sometimes that is not so easy.
What I ended up doing in a state of frustration, is tell her that I am engaging in cheap sex with people simply because "I can".
Her response tells all..She said "Listen to yourself, Have you gone mad??"
I knew it would hurt and the deviation from my normal behavior would scare her.
It worked. She has not contacted me and seems to finally be moving on with things.
But I feel like shit.
Should I just leave it as it is, since I know what I did is effective and it was the "right and merciful" thing to do, even if the method was underhanded?
Or should I come clean and thus, maybe save a little face and spare her feelings, but also perhaps reignite her interest in "us".?