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Thread: Ethical crisis.

  1. #21
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    Its a world of possibilities as they say...
    That is a pretty good point she did believe him at one point, it did affect her badly, and she will in time, be able to trust herself again through the help of others. But this is where the ending difference will lie. Now everyone makes mistakes, negative emotions can turn even the most amiable person into a malevolent jerk, but there is always time for repentance. What I am trying to say is that the girl will be fine in the end, but what about Mr. Arc? (sorry if the way of address is offensive)
    Mr.Arc will not really be able to forget the incident, and is it really fair for him to suffer all his life for one mistake? Sure he deserved it, but no one should be condemned for life, just by letting their emotions go once.
    What he did was unforgivable, but the punishment should not be so severe. Saying sorry will not awaken her feelings again if he explains everything in the process, e.g: why he feels it won't work out, all the times he has tried to make it work.
    Coming clean will help them both in the end, because the equation looks like this to me:
    Her + not saying anything = eventually happy her + miserable Mr. Arc
    Her + saying the truth = Two happy persons seen after the passage of time

    Not that I am saying what he did was not really something inexcusable but as an INFJ I have already been through something like this (well I hurt a friend) and I know for a fact the guilt will never go away until you say sorry. If you don't want her to feel pain again, then don't tell her the reasons but at least apologize
    There may be many holes in my reasoning so feel free to show them, it helps me learn to think from different perspectives.
    Nobody is evil, nobody is wrong, nobody hates you; but yourself.


  2. #22
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    Even leaving Arclight's peace of mind aside, I still think it's wrong to withhold that sort of truth from someone. People are resilient; she may very well find a way to bounce back and be happy without the deception and the false closure.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza_tema View Post
    Even leaving Arclight's peace of mind aside, I still think it's wrong to withhold that sort of truth from someone. People are resilient; she may very well find a way to bounce back and be happy without the deception and the false closure.


    Everyone had good suggestions, but I still have this opinion as well. People may be hurt briefly by truth, but it always provides the best stability/ closure in the end. I would bring it back up again just to provide a healthy ending for both involved. There shouldn't be any room for guessing. There's nice, polite, soft ways of presenting the truth.
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  4. #24
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    Update..

    So we spoke again. I knew she would contact me.
    She didn't believe me. She acted like it didn't happen.
    I can tell she is sad.
    I am sorry I hurt her.
    I wish this stuff could all just magically go away.
    Silly eh?
    I hate knowing she hurts and why she hurts .. It's something I can empathize with. It's something I could fix.
    But the solution is also the problem.
    It's a tough place to be.

  5. #25
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    It is hard to end things when you care about someone. Be firm and persistant in not communicating with her. Good luck.
    4w5

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