User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 48

  1. #1
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    807

    Default Parental Influence of Personality

    Just as mothers influence their son's general feelings toward women, fathers influence their daughter's general feelings about men.

    If a father lavishes praise on his daughter and demonstrates that she is a worthwhile person, she'll feel very good about herself in relation to men. But if the father is cold, critical or absent, the daughter will tend to feel she's not very lovable or attractive.


    Now I wonder how much your parents have exerted their influence on you?

  2. #2
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,939

    Default

    For myself, one thing I'd say was a definite family influence in MBTI terms - my mom is a probable INTJ, my brother a probable ISTJ, and my dad...well, he's an IxxJ. I think he could be ISFJ, a rather "F" ISTJ, or possibly INFJ.

    But...having a lot of "T" influence in my life, I think my mom and my brother definitely bruised my sensitive feelings more often than they realised. They knew I was sensitive, but I don't think they knew to what extent...(a theme which has continued with many people in my life!). Basically, I think partly because of that I was more of a "T" when I was younger. I don't have much doubt that I'm an INFJ but until my early twenties - when I got out on my own - I had a more intellectual and T approach to life, I'd say. More like an INTJ for sure.

    No one in my family is as much of a people person as I am either, and I attach more importance to close friendships (not that they don't have some, but they are all people who reserve the vast majority of their devotion for their family. I split it between my family - that is, my parents and bro, as I'm single - and my friends.) I think I was also more like that until I got out on my own.

    While I think too much went unsaid in my family and there was a lot of unspoken tension at times, I did have an extremely supportive upbringing and have never ever doubted my parents' support and love for me. I know that has made a big difference in my life.
    Female
    INFJ
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


    I DOORSLAMMING

  3. #3
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    807

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    While I think too much went unsaid in my family and there was a lot of unspoken tension at times, I did have an extremely supportive upbringing and have never ever douted my parents' support and love for me. I know that has made a big difference in my life.
    Consider that as a blessing, as I would love to had a father-figure during my teenhood.

    I also happened to think too much without expressing how I really felt as my mother is a Exxx. There's also the issue of guilt-tripping from time to time from her, though I truly realized it wasn't intended. Though you know how sometimes "too much information" (especially traumatic ones) often lead to mental sufferings. The biggest obstacle which I have in the absence of a father-figure during a critical period, in addition to being raised with an alcoholic abusive father--leads me to have a huge difficulty in trusting men in general.

    I'm not blaming my parents for this, but it certainly has a huge psychological influence in my prospect of romance, love, and marriage, unfortunately.

  4. #4
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,939

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    There's also the issue of guilt-tripping from time to time from her, though I truly realized it wasn't intended.
    Ooh, I actually TOTALLY relate to that, though my mom is definitely IxTJ and I'm pretty sure she's INTJ. Same sort of thing, though - she does do a good line in guilt tripping, and I don't think it's deliberately manipulative, but I know that's had some long term effect on me. I am far too open to being manipulated by people in that way.

    I actually can't imagine having an abusive or absent father, although I wouldn't say we've been that close emotionally for most of our lives. But he's a very good man and a good father. So I feel for you. I definitely have some issues regarding men though. I can't quite figure out where they came from...
    Female
    INFJ
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


    I DOORSLAMMING

  5. #5
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    ...The biggest obstacle which I have in the absence of a father-figure during a critical period, in addition to being raised with an alcoholic abusive father--leads me to have a huge difficulty in trusting men in general.
    My heart goes out to you. My alcoholic father was more passive/withdrawn, but the limited engagements we did have left me with an avoidance to Type A men that I didn't get over until a few years ago. My Fe mom delivered to me a distorted form of Fe which I couldn't help but absorb to some degree, yet had to work through to remove the distortion.

    My parents still meant well, but it's funny how much each of them impacted/shaped me to reflect and/or complement them w/o trying. I just wish I had felt known and loved. That last bit still haunts me today.

    EDIT: My parents did definitely impact my type expressions. My dad could not be reasoned with but I tried.... which meant I had to be very Te and provide concrete, literal proof for everything, since Ti or F or N had no sway with him. I persisted in that style of arguing/proof demands until a decade after I reached adulthood, and didn't really trust my intuition enough to make life decisions based on it. I wanted to be able to justify my choices explicitly.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #6
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    yupp
    Posts
    29,776

    Default

    Part of me believes that it is a mother's job to guilt trip her children. I know mine does plenty. She's an F and my dad's a T, both have their strength's and weaknesses when it came to raising me and my brother. My dad is a respectable guy for the most part, so I realize that not all men are dicks. I don't hate men, and I don't know how much it had to do with my father or the other men in my family, I was lucky to grow in a family that wasn't abusive and functioned for the most part.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  7. #7
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    my mother is an infj and my father was an enfp...i definitely think they influenced my personality in a huge way. they are/were extremely loving and accepting parents. i think i define love the way they showed me and it's difficult for me to feel it from people with a different definition or expression.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #8
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    MBTI
    HUMR
    Enneagram
    6 sx
    Socionics
    iNfp Ni
    Posts
    1,521

    Default

    My father is an I/E STJ. The ENFP-ESTJ dynamic was a CRAZY thing growing up, thats for sure!

    But I can say this.. he has totally 100% influenced me in partner picking (in a good way.) Probably the biggest thing is loyalty. He is the most loyal person I've ever known. I am strongly attracted to people that 1) Are direct with their thoughts and feelings 2) Will always be there for you, and 3) Are VERY resourceful and capeable of overcoming obstacles.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  9. #9
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    My most consistent parental/guardian figure was an retired-career-military ISTJ, and I think I developed my Te and Si because of him (and because of his ESTJ wife after my grandmother passed away)...I know I've adopted his no nonsense, "does this work?" cut the bullshit attitude, and my love of history and politics began with him (though he was an old-fashioned Republican) which has caused more than one person to guess that I was ISTJ, to say I was an unhealthy ESTJ, or to joke that I must be an ISTJ. It's clearly affected my personality...in a bad way, too, though...it's given me a very rebellious attitude toward structure and schedules, I mean to the point of running like hell, and having issues with authority.

    I also think my ESTJ step-grandmother instilled "female strength" into me, which is cool, despite all of her flaws.

    But yeah, I think this is why as an ENFP some people say my posts come across as Si/Te-ish, and some people who rely too much on Keirsey interaction styles think I am exhbiting "J" traits....which is ironically hilarious since I score so high on P in the dichotomy tests that more than one has indicated that my overall "P-ness" is actually stronger than my ENF.

  10. #10
    morose bourgeoisie
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,859

    Default

    IMO, parents are the single biggest factor in a child's personality. Much moreso than genetics.

Similar Threads

  1. The influence of avatars
    By Salomé in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 289
    Last Post: 07-09-2009, 12:24 AM
  2. How rich is our conception of personality typing?
    By ygolo in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-11-2009, 06:20 PM
  3. Has your family influenced your personality?
    By littledarling in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 11-17-2008, 12:51 PM
  4. The Novelty of Personality Types
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 07-06-2008, 06:43 PM
  5. The Influence of Functions on Grammar
    By JustDave in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 03-29-2008, 11:01 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO