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  1. #31
    Senior Member mochajava's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    my mother is an infj and my father was an enfp...i definitely think they influenced my personality in a huge way. they are/were extremely loving and accepting parents. i think i define love the way they showed me and it's difficult for me to feel it from people with a different definition or expression.
    Can I ask how they showed/defined it?

  2. #32
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    My father is an I/E STJ. The ENFP-ESTJ dynamic was a CRAZY thing growing up, thats for sure!

    But I can say this.. he has totally 100% influenced me in partner picking (in a good way.) Probably the biggest thing is loyalty. He is the most loyal person I've ever known. I am strongly attracted to people that 1) Are direct with their thoughts and feelings 2) Will always be there for you, and 3) Are VERY resourceful and capeable of overcoming obstacles.
    oooh tell me more...what was your enfp mom like
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #33
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GemPOPGem View Post
    My father was always the rock in my family. My parents divorced when i was three but he fought for shared responsibility and we spent half the week at each house. He was always the together one, worked hard, took us on holidays made sure we had a good diet, clothed us, taught us so much and though he could be quite tough he did show us love too.
    My mother on the other hand was great with emotional stuff but not so great with buying food, clothes, coming to school plays etc...as she seemed to be always going away-without us.
    I have expect very high standard of parental responsibility where fathers are concerned (as i do mothers) and likewise i believe in fathers rights. I believe in equality, true feminism.
    I'm not sure how much it has shaped my personality
    I forgot to say, my father is an ENTP my mother is an EXFP and my bro is an ENFP (we all grew up in the same house/s). I do also have an INTP sister and i suspect another ENFP brother (not certain about him though) who i did spend a lot of time with but did not live with.
    AND I LOVE THEM ALL!
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  4. #34
    Peaced Quay's Avatar
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    Lady X, that is so cool. My husband and I hope to be like your parents, and we are the same types as they are (we think).

    My father is ESTJ and my mom ISFJ.

    I showed my father the ESTJ profile, and he says, "Oh yeah, that made me take this test at work and that's what it said. I don't think this is true." ..all with a smirk on his face that showed he agreed with the profile. anyway.

    My mother is a dutiful introvert. She bends way over backwards for people despite not having much for herself. We haven't done the test, but I am almost positive she's ISFJ. Reading that description is like watching my mother for 24 hours.

    I think I got J from both my parents. Both very clean and orderly with routine to their days, even if they don't have anything to do. I remember my father ran down a list for me of how he was going to "relax". That was funny.

    Introversion I'm sure is from my mother. I remember being young and not hearing much of her voice, but feeling her presence. My younger sister and I just followed her lead. We hardly ever acted out in public, and she took us everywhere with her.

    I'm not sure how intuition and feeling develop... but I think a lot of my driven emotional states came from watching my parents fight and argue, get back together (I will always remember my mom serving my dad lemonade and wiping the sweat from his face with a towel after a gardening session), and then finally the divorce after many attempts. It had a very profound effect on my state of being.

  5. #35
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mochajava View Post
    Can I ask how they showed/defined it?
    my mother was/is just very supportive and encouraging. she values a persons character above all else and constantly taught us the right thing to do and the right way to treat people...fe at it's best imo.
    my father was also very supportive and encouraging and he valued quality of life and experience...a curiosity and excitement about life. he was that person that would always stop whatever he was doing to listen to his kids...he had all the time in the world for you and whatever it was if it was important to you...he empathetically experienced it with you...he was playful and light hearted but deep, compassionate and intellectual...actually they both were/are...they were always the people i had the most interesting philosophical discussions with...

    i'm rambling...i guess they showed me that love means being there for each other completely in heart and mind...with genuine interest and concern and enjoying each others company to the fullest while completely accepting and appreciating them exactly as they are.

    so i guess...when i don't feel completely accepted and appreciated as i am...or the things i value are not valued by them...it just doesn't feel like love to me....probably typical of most tho i'd assume.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #36
    Alexander the Terrible yenom's Avatar
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    My mother has the biggest impact on my personality in a negitive way.
    Much of the pain in my childhood was given by my mother.
    She never showed much love to me. She had a hard time controlling her anger, and gives cutting criticisms to me. Even as a kid, I was always yelled, being cursed, and shouted at. It made me guard my feelings carefully and not very open emotionally to people unless I really trust them.


    My reaction to my mother is to weave T shell around myself, telling myself that I wouldn't let anyone injure me like my mother. and I will always have to remain strong and independent because I couldn't let myself depend on other people given that they may take advantage of my vulnerability.

    My father was distant and aloof, and my mom and father was divorced very soon after I was born. So I had very little exposure to my father.
    The fear of poverty turns people into slaves of money.

    "In this Caesar there are many Mariuses"~Sulla

    Conquer your inner demons first before you conquer the world.

  7. #37
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yenom View Post
    My mother has the biggest impact on my personality in a negitive way.
    Much of the pain in my childhood was given by my mother.
    She never showed much love to me. She had a hard time controlling her anger, and gives cutting criticisms to me. Even as a kid, I was always yelled, being cursed, and shouted at. It made me guard my feelings carefully and not very open emotionally to people unless I really trust them.


    My reaction to my mother is to weave T shell around myself, telling myself that I wouldn't let anyone injure me like my mother. and I will always have to remain strong and independent because I couldn't let myself depend on other people given that they may take advantage of my vulnerability.

    My father was distant and aloof, and my mom and father was divorced very soon after I was born. So I had very little exposure to my father.
    Thats really fucking tough. I'm sorry you grew up in an unloving environment. Theres plenty of people with a whole lot of love to give though (i'm sure you know this)
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  8. #38
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Quote Originally Posted by yenom View Post
    My mother has the biggest impact on my personality in a negitive way.
    Much of the pain in my childhood was given by my mother.
    She never showed much love to me. She had a hard time controlling her anger, and gives cutting criticisms to me. Even as a kid, I was always yelled, being cursed, and shouted at. It made me guard my feelings carefully and not very open emotionally to people unless I really trust them.


    My reaction to my mother is to weave T shell around myself, telling myself that I wouldn't let anyone injure me like my mother. and I will always have to remain strong and independent because I couldn't let myself depend on other people given that they may take advantage of my vulnerability.

    My father was distant and aloof, and my mom and father was divorced very soon after I was born. So I had very little exposure to my father.
    I grew up under similar circumstances. My father was either happy, or silent, and he was silent a lot. I think now that he had a bad case of PTSD. Mom was always in a tizzy about what mood dad was inwhen he came home from work. I remember thinking, at around age 9, that dad's emotions are more important to mom than the kids'. that was a shocking, and troubling revelation to have at that age.

  9. #39
    Member Faine's Avatar
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    I really want to contribute to this thread but I'm not sure I could put my family into words.
    Still, it is interesting lurking. Thank you to everyone who is sharing.
    INFJ 9w1.

  10. #40
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    I'm ExTx. (will update stats)

    The old lady's a hysterical xSFJ, father's a passive INFP, but I was solely raised by an xNTJ. Likely a socially anxious ENTJ, if those exist.

    Lots of J influence in my life, he was one strict ****er. I absolutely *dreaded* my grade reports coming in the mail, to the point I tried to hide out at my friend's house when I knew I was getting a 2.5 gpa one quarter when I was 13. But yet the stereotypical abstract/visionary N. Thank god he wasn't an ESTJ, I have no Si, and one of us would've been dead by now.
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