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  1. #21
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nebbykoo View Post
    IMO, parents are the single biggest factor in a child's personality. Much moreso than genetics.
    I disagree in that I think basic personality is inborn (which would kind of make THAT the biggest factor)... but then parents have the largest influence on how that personality manifests.

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I was always "daddy's girl" growing up and he definitely did his best to sway me to the NT side of things. He taught me multiplication and division when I was in pre-school, and taught me about astronomy on clear summer nights with nothing more than a shoe box, flashlight, and tin foil with constallations poked in.
    He sounds very cool.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #22
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    My heart goes out to you. My alcoholic father was more passive/withdrawn, but the limited engagements we did have left me with an avoidance to Type A men that I didn't get over until a few years ago.
    I wouldn't want to get into details of my Dad's abusive treatment to both of us. Yet I do share a few negative traits of his when I'm feeling unhealthy with traits like over-suspicious, jealousy, and short-tempered (which ironically in sync with a typical unhealthy INFJ traits). Due to my alocholic father, I even disciplined myself never to drink alone and minimize the chance of social drinking. The problem is that it seems very hard to separate drinking occasions in most forms of social gatherings. I suppose I've been missing out many opportunities to get to know people as a result from this.

  3. #23
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    Part of me believes that it is a mother's job to guilt trip her children.
    I'm not sure if that's a mother's "nature," but it seems that it may scar those forever who are sensitive to being guilt-tripped. I wouldn't do it to my children, and I strongly suggest people shouldn't. This shouldn't be viewed as a way to build bridges (some parents mistakenly confused with motivating their children by opening up with 'too much' information), but a devastating mental trip for the young minds.

  4. #24
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    Now I wonder how much your parents have exerted their influence on you?
    Quite a lot. My father was a distant ISTJ, my mom an xNFJ.

    The positive influence came from mom. I think the key was that she never thought that what I had to say could be dismissed because I was "just a child". I had all kinds of theories about the world, and she would take them seriously and give her opinion about them. We used to take the dog out in the forest and talk about all kinds of stuff, and nothing was disregarded without going through the idea. Actually, I don't think that anything was dropped at all. She was also able to see that I was different than most of the kids, so knowing that made it not such a big problem for me. I think that without her, I would not have come out as whole as I eventually came out. I would not have the same self-respect, and I would not trust my logic or intuition. She was like a kick-start for my life, since it was so obvious that the type of person I was was not a mistake since she also was an NF.

    The influence from my father is quite a different story. In his eyes I was valued because of my success. This made me do well in school, I guess. But later, I came to see this as something quite repulsive. It doesn't go well with my values to imply that my worth has anything to do with traditional success. So, it might be that his influence actually pushed me away from the world he was trying to push me in. The last time he critiziced my doings he said I should see that in the business I should distance myself from my friends because they will be the ones I am competing against for jobs. And again, it made me go further from that world. It seems that the way he tried to have influence on me always backfired.

  5. #25
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    My father was always the rock in my family. My parents divorced when i was three but he fought for shared responsibility and we spent half the week at each house. He was always the together one, worked hard, took us on holidays made sure we had a good diet, clothed us, taught us so much and though he could be quite tough he did show us love too.
    My mother on the other hand was great with emotional stuff but not so great with buying food, clothes, coming to school plays etc...as she seemed to be always going away-without us.
    I have expect very high standard of parental responsibility where fathers are concerned (as i do mothers) and likewise i believe in fathers rights. I believe in equality, true feminism.
    I'm not sure how much it has shaped my personality
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  6. #26
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Mom: ESFJ
    Dad: INFJ
    Bro: ISTP
    if anything, having 2 crazy FJ parents made me a little less F. while both of them have extremely strong Ti (both are PhD scientists), their extremely emotional responses to most things made me decide early in life that I was going to be a more rational and collected person
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  7. #27
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GemPOPGem View Post
    My father was always the rock in my family. My parents divorced when i was three but he fought for shared responsibility and we spent half the week at each house. He was always the together one, worked hard, took us on holidays made sure we had a good diet, clothed us, taught us so much and though he could be quite tough he did show us love too.
    My mother on the other hand was great with emotional stuff but not so great with buying food, clothes, coming to school plays etc...as she seemed to be always going away-without us.
    I have expect very high standard of parental responsibility where fathers are concerned (as i do mothers) and likewise i believe in fathers rights. I believe in equality, true feminism.
    I'm not sure how much it has shaped my personality
    +7
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    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  8. #28
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    I wouldn't want to get into details of my Dad's abusive treatment to both of us. Yet I do share a few negative traits of his when I'm feeling unhealthy with traits like over-suspicious, jealousy, and short-tempered (which ironically in sync with a typical unhealthy INFJ traits). Due to my alocholic father, I even disciplined myself never to drink alone and minimize the chance of social drinking. The problem is that it seems very hard to separate drinking occasions in most forms of social gatherings. I suppose I've been missing out many opportunities to get to know people as a result from this.
    I think there's almost more danger from rejection of behavior from a bad parent that in itself is an extreme, than just emulating the original bad behavior. To avoid being like the parent, one can just go to lengths that are in themselves destructive. Maintaining balance can be very very difficult.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #29
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I think there's almost more danger from rejection of behavior from a bad parent that in itself is an extreme, than just emulating the original bad behavior. To avoid being like the parent, one can just go to lengths that are in themselves destructive. Maintaining balance can be very very difficult.
    Exactly.

    I've always liked music (classical). Unforunately, I have decided to bury my passion deep inside me because my Dad was a musician back then. The more I found there are similar interests between us, the harder and further I tried to break it. I am unsure if it has to do with being the only child, but I definitely don't want to have any resemblence of his interests. Now that I've grown much older, I started to regret it, a lot.

  10. #30
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    Mom: ESFJ
    Dad: INFJ
    Did you get them to take the typology test? Or is this based on your accessment?

    I would like to find out about my parents' type as well, though I am in no where to master my skill to determine their typology as I'm fairly new to this.

    Though I would really want to find out more about them, if possible.

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