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  1. #11
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    Oh...in terms of men I think it's made me attracted to a lot of introverts, and I seem to show a preference for SFJs and NTJs. It's not always a good thing, because it means in some cases I am attracted to a man who is "cold" or "distant."

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by nebbykoo View Post
    IMO, parents are the single biggest factor in a child's personality. Much moreso than genetics.
    I dunno...my mom is ESFP, and I suspect my father may have been an unhealthy ExTP, and in many ways I'm very like my mom, though she's not the one who consistently raised me.

  3. #13
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I dunno...my mom is ESFP, and I suspect my father may have been an unhealthy ExTP, and in many ways I'm very like my mom, though she's not the one who consistently raised me.
    yeah my dad was around, but he really didn't raise me or my brother he never doled out any discipline, that was what my mom did, and she was around more than him, but I ended up more like my dad, than I did my mom. Actually I ended up almost exactly like my grandma who I saw twice a year at most.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  4. #14
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    My mom was an ENFP and my dad is an INTP. I am an only child.

    I was always "daddy's girl" growing up and he definitely did his best to sway me to the NT side of things. He taught me multiplication and division when I was in pre-school, and taught me about astronomy on clear summer nights with nothing more than a shoe box, flashlight, and tin foil with constallations poked in.

    He is definitely the reason why all of the men I have dated have been NT's.

    My mom and had a more volatile relationship - but we were still very close. There is nothing quite like having an NF mom to always back you up, no matter what dumb thing you have just done. She has definitely influenced me to be kind to others, to remember the "little details" of friends' lives, and to be generous. I miss her.

    She is definitely why I think it is best for me to date a T instead of an F. I need balance!

  5. #15
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I dunno...my mom is ESFP, and I suspect my father may have been an unhealthy ExTP, and in many ways I'm very like my mom, though she's not the one who consistently raised me.
    I meant care givers, rather than just parents. Does that clarify?

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    yeah my dad was around, but he really didn't raise me or my brother he never doled out any discipline, that was what my mom did, and she was around more than him, but I ended up more like my dad, than I did my mom. Actually I ended up almost exactly like my grandma who I saw twice a year at most.
    It's totally weird because my mom will laugh and tell me I'm acting like my grandfather (who was very loving and loyal, in his awkward quiet (over)protector-provider-buying gifts-but-not-mushy-at-all-can-say-very-blunt-things sort of way) ...but the truth is, sometimes when I talk to my mom, it's just so COMFORTABLE. It's almost like talking to myself sometimes. She just "gets" me...the problem is, though, since our flaws are similar we can clash, and I think with her being an Se dom rather than an Ne dom she's more prone to talking/noise/overt rambunctiousness that I have to get space from.

  7. #17
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Although I was never close to either of my parents, in terms of 'bonding' or really having any sort of vulnerable/in-depth conversation, they both provided an extremely stable and safe/dependable environment growing up, of which I feel immensely fortunate.

    My father is an ISFJ, and although while growing up he annoyed me greatly (poor dad), I now consider him to be a really, really awesome person. Good heart, and I think it is he who inculcated me with a strong sense of personal accountability/responsibility, and pretty much owning everything I did and telling me I had the strength to push through whatever was hard for me. There were times I wished he would let me crumble, but in retrospect I am glad he did not.

    I guess same with my mother, in some ways. They weren't parents who would take over my more difficult tasks that I didn't want to do, they made me do it. lol. I don't think there were THAT many occasions when this was relevant, but one example that comes to mind is when I was a junior in high school, and after 10+ years of taking piano lessons, and never really wanting to take them the entire time, my mom finally let me quit, but made me call my piano teacher (who adored me) and tell her myself. This may not seem like that big of a deal, but having to call this poor older retired music teacher who would have loved to see me major in music, and tell her that I was quitting, was like the worst thing ever, but I didit... I don't think it's that uncommon for a large number of parents to ... kind of coddle their children and do the difficult people-oriented tasks for their kids, or try to prevent the kids from feeling their mistakes (take ownership away from the kids)... which in the end just postpones the kid from actually having to deal with that stuff on their own when they ARE on their own. Don't get me wrong, as a parent it's gotta be hard to watch your kid have to own their mistakes/choices, but... for me I am thankful that my parents did.

    Oh, also, just all of the practical things like staying out of debt and knowing basic cooking skills and car maintenance stuff (some of these things I tend to disregard, as I simply don't care, but stuff like Money Management... oh yeah, I am SO glad I had the parents I did w/ regards to that, as I have learned from them and that's important to me too. But I suppose that ties to the responsibility bit as well).

    (Mom is an ISTJ and Dad is an ISFJ)
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  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by nebbykoo View Post
    I meant care givers, rather than just parents. Does that clarify?
    Oh yes, I understand...and my point was I think I inherited through genetics strong, basic personality traits of my ESFP mother and ExTP father, but developed my lesser functions and other skills (and perhaps over-relying on my tertiary Te at times) because of my grandparents raising me.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Chiharu's Avatar
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    My Mom is an ISFJ, my father who I no longer speak to is a vindictive/unhealthy xSTP, and I think it definitely had a big impact on me. My mom is pretty wonderful, and she really worked to ground me in common sense, which isn't always naturally there for me. My older brother is a huge part of my life but hard for me to type... maybe ISFP or INTP.

    Despite my father, who wasn't around that much anyway, I have a loving family base in my mother and brother. However, being the only strong N in a family of Ss is tough. As far as my taste in men, being around two SPs has made a good sense of humor a must for me, though my taste is slightly off from my family's. However, seeing my mother and brother at their worst has pretty much ruled out all SJs and most SPs out for me. I love them, but I can't take it. I have this horrid fascination with STPs, but I'm not sure I could ever trust them =(

    For better or worst, our family plays a huge role in our expression of type.

  10. #20
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Ooh, I actually TOTALLY relate to that, though my mom is definitely IxTJ and I'm pretty sure she's INTJ. Same sort of thing, though - she does do a good line in guilt tripping, and I don't think it's deliberately manipulative, but I know that's had some long term effect on me. I am far too open to being manipulated by people in that way.
    The problem with my Mom's guilt-tripping is that she didn't repeat any past (tragic) episodes which I'm aware of, but all of these information are completely new to me. She didn't do it on purpose to make me feel bad as she's just trying to share bits of her life with me, though she never knows how much it has affected me, nor I felt I'm entitled to stop her as I do feel sorry for her.

    I know it's quite complicated and unfair, but it's just the way it is.

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