User Tag List

First 12345 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 48

Thread: ISTP needs help

  1. #21
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    48

    Default

    Nameless, dissonance, and CaptainChick, I really appreciate your talking with me about it. I just wanted to express that. It helps.

  2. #22
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    48

    Default

    CC, can you see my 8:03 pm postings? I tried to post my beliefs again.

  3. #23
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    9,849

    Default

    "I believe there’s a God. I just sense God. I have since I was little. I run into limits or constraints (i.e. hunger, people, mortality, emotions). I’ve noticed I’m not in control, and it’s my sense that somebody has ordered this thing called life. I think about that a lot when I interact with people. There are social consequences and sensitivities. I see people’s idiosyncrasies and their importance as this beautiful, unwieldy, complex, throbbing-with-life thing."

    I don't foresee this as being problematic.

    "It’s kind of exciting. I’m of the opinion that God must love people if life is as it is. Yes I have pain and heartache, but I see the physical/social responses as protective of me. I've decided to be a Christian. Protestant. I'm not sure about all of my distant relatives. They don't talk about it much with me, but my closest parent (an INFP) and my siblings share my views about God for the most part".

    To be honest, as an ENFP who also happens to be an atheist, I do find this as being potentially problematic, (but then again, I am a girl). As I've already mentioned, guys seem to care less about this stuff.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  4. #24
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    9,849

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    I am wary of getting into romantic relationships. My dad was abusive, and my mom divorced him when I was little. I'm detail-oriented. I focus on compatibility a lot. I guess I don't want to end up like my parents.And I don't like to see that I've hurt people, so I keep things firmly in the friend arena with guys.
    So was mine.

    You have hurt people in the past???
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  5. #25
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    9,849

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    Now I'm getting mixed reviews from the people posting on this forum. It might be okay to hang out with him (he and his roommates propound it to me and some of you say it's fine), but alternately, he could get very hurt. I guess I might have to just ignore this friendship 'till he finds someone, as cheeseburger-poster sd. Sometimes I wish none of this romantic interest had happened. I wish we were just platonic friends the whole time. He's so great. I don't want to lose his friendship. But our getting along so well is why we became interested in each other. I've tried to limit my seeing him. He lives with a bunch of my guy friends. He told me that he didn't think I should be anywhere but there, so I started hanging out again. Crap.

    I agree with you, CC, that this is a great pairing. It feels better than maybe any other interaction I've had personality-wise.
    He's a big boy.

    I'm sure he'll be able to manage.

    As cheeseburger poster said, lolololololollllll!!!!!! You're great, I like you!
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  6. #26
    Senior Member Nameless's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    105

    Default

    you could try this another way. hang out with him a lot, then go party with him. when you've both had a little to drink, you'll both realize just how much you want each other and then you'll hop on, realizing religion doesn't matter.

    seriously, though, CC is right (as usual it seems about these kinds of things) and he is a big boy. if he says to go hang out with him, then go for it, he asked for it. he probably values your friendship enough ( and I can see why if you get along as well as you claim) to put the feelings he has for you aside and just enjoy hanging out with you.

    but don't be surprised if he tries to charm you into changing your mind

    (i was looking for an angel face but didn't find it, and just found that one, which is the COOLEST THING EVER!!!)

  7. #27
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    48

    Default

    I just don't want to be like my dad (who hurt my mom)--that's been one of the driving forces in my life. That's why I'm pretty hesitant.

    Um, I'd say we hurt each other in my only relationship. I shouldn't have stayed with my boyfriend, but I was young. I met him when I was 15 and stayed with him for 5 years. ISTPs are loyal. We were both immature and wanted to be in a relationship.We were looking at it through rose-colored glasses. We tried to ignore what wasn't working. I finally started to break it off with him b/c he disrespected women so deeply, and I hated that.It was hard for me b/c I felt a misplaced sense of loyalty. He freaked and said he'd change and didn't want to lose me. He proposed to me three days later, and, even though I didn't want to get married 'till I was like 30 or even older, I sd 'yes.' I felt like saying 'yes' was somehow tied up with forgiving him and accepting him. That was a mistake. I went against what was best for both of us b/c I was going along with what he wanted. I was very young relationship-wise at 19. I didn't love him enough.That was wrong of me. I am very ashamed of it. When he sd he'd change, I thought "maybe we can have what I thought was 'meant to be.'" I didn't have good examples of what good relationships were like. Oh, we're not still together btw. He left me 14 months ago.

  8. #28
    Senior Member Nameless's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    105

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    I just don't want to be like my dad (who hurt my mom)--that's been one of the driving forces in my life. That's why I'm pretty hesitant.

    Um, I'd say we hurt each other in my only relationship. I shouldn't have stayed with my boyfriend, but I was young. I met him when I was 15 and stayed with him for 5 years. ISTPs are loyal. We were both immature and wanted to be in a relationship.We were looking at it through rose-colored glasses. We tried to ignore what wasn't working. I finally started to break it off with him b/c he disrespected women so deeply, and I hated that.It was hard for me b/c I felt a misplaced sense of loyalty. He freaked and said he'd change and didn't want to lose me. He proposed to me three days later, and, even though I didn't want to get married 'till I was like 30 or even older, I sd 'yes.' I felt like saying 'yes' was somehow tied up with forgiving him and accepting him. That was a mistake. I went against what was best for both of us b/c I was going along with what he wanted. I was very young relationship-wise at 19. I didn't love him enough.That was wrong of me. I am very ashamed of it. When he sd he'd change, I thought "maybe we can have what I thought was 'meant to be.'" I didn't have good examples of what good relationships were like. Oh, we're not still together btw. He left me 14 months ago.
    oh...so it sounds like the religion thing isn't really all that big of a deal and it's more being afraid of a relationship in general because your last boyfriend and parents-stuff you mentioned? I don't know much about this kind of stuff, sorry...but, if you do really get along that well, you probably won't see those kinds of problems

  9. #29
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    48

    Default

    Hah! That's so funny, Nameless, because that's what his roommate, my friend, sd:"when you've both had a little to drink, you'll both realize just how much you want each other and then you'll hop on."

  10. #30
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    48

    Default

    "..but, if you do really get along that well, you probably won't see those kinds of problems.." He's really great about respecting people regardless of their gender. He's so different from my ex.

    It's hard for me to discuss this topic with people, and you guys have all been great. Thank you.

Similar Threads

  1. [MBTItm] INTJ needs help providing emotional support to ISTP
    By fractals in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 08-17-2013, 03:47 AM
  2. [ISTP] ISTP Careers? HELP!
    By Santosha in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 10-05-2011, 02:53 PM
  3. [ENFP] Need help reviving my parents' marriage (ENFP=ISTP)
    By NashK in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 05-08-2009, 07:13 AM
  4. [ISTP] ISTPs need relationships too!
    By Winz in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 181
    Last Post: 04-13-2009, 01:01 AM
  5. [ISTP] Married to an ISTP and need help!
    By CestMoi in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 45
    Last Post: 02-25-2008, 10:00 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO