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Thread: ISTP needs help

  1. #11
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    try him out, lol!!!
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

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  2. #12
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    why, if you like him so much, would you forgo something that could be amazing just because your beliefs don't exactly match? (It struck me that this could be amazing b/c of the personality dynamics, but in examining the direct opposition of our spiritual beliefs, I concluded starting a relationship with him would only bring us both another failed relationship.) he's not intolerant of your beliefs, so why are you so intolerant of his? (I am tolerant of his beliefs. I hate people trying to force me or others to believe something they personally don't see. I love the freedom I have, and others have, to believe as an independent being. I think, simply, that logically our beliefs are conflicting.)

    my opinion is that you WILL flirt with him, and you WILL hurt him. you can't turn off your feelings. (I have been worried about this. I really like him. I have a very strong will, so I know I could force myself to do a lot of behavioral repression, but he is very loving, and I don't want to have sd 'no' to a relationship but be showing him affection if that will hurt him.)

    maybe it's worth examining why you're so threatened by the concept of a relationship with him. (Whew. I've thought that, too.)

  3. #13
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    CC, were you able to see my beliefs post (above) in its entirety? Only part of it shows on my screen. It should go into what I believe about God.

  4. #14
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    What are your beliefs hon?

    And honestly, ISTP + ENFP = A potentially awesome pair/relationship. (though I am biased.)
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  5. #15
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    I am wary of getting into romantic relationships. My dad was abusive, and my mom divorced him when I was little. I'm detail-oriented. I focus on compatibility a lot. I guess I don't want to end up like my parents.And I don't like to see that I've hurt people, so I keep things firmly in the friend arena with guys.

  6. #16
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    CC, were you able to see my beliefs post (above) in its entirety? Only part of it shows on my screen. It should go into what I believe about God.
    No, I can find the original post though.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  7. #17
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    I believe there’s a God. I just sense God. I have since I was little. I run into limits or constraints (i.e. hunger, people, mortality, emotions). I’ve noticed I’m not in control, and it’s my sense that somebody has ordered this thing called life. I think about that a lot when I interact with people. There are social consequences and sensitivities. I see people’s idiosyncrasies and their importance as this beautiful, unwieldy, complex, throbbing-with-life thing.

  8. #18
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    It’s kind of exciting. I’m of the opinion that God must love people if life is as it is. Yes I have pain and heartache, but I see the physical/social responses as protective of me. I've decided to be a Christian. Protestant. I'm not sure about all of my distant relatives. They don't talk about it much with me, but my closest parent (an INFP) and my siblings share my views about God for the most part.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Nameless's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nanashi View Post
    why, if you like him so much, would you forgo something that could be amazing just because your beliefs don't exactly match? (It struck me that this could be amazing b/c of the personality dynamics, but in examining the direct opposition of our spiritual beliefs, I concluded starting a relationship with him would only bring us both another failed relationship.) he's not intolerant of your beliefs, so why are you so intolerant of his? (I am tolerant of his beliefs. I hate people trying to force me or others to believe something they personally don't see. I love the freedom I have, and others have, to believe as an independent being. I think, simply, that logically our beliefs are conflicting.)

    my opinion is that you WILL flirt with him, and you WILL hurt him. you can't turn off your feelings. (I have been worried about this. I really like him. I have a very strong will, so I know I could force myself to do a lot of behavioral repression, but he is very loving, and I don't want to have sd 'no' to a relationship but be showing him affection if that will hurt him.)

    maybe it's worth examining why you're so threatened by the concept of a relationship with him. (Whew. I've thought that, too.)
    I think you can have a great relationship with conflicting ideas, as long as you respect each other's ideas. You learn more that way even. I guess the way I might see it being a problem though is if religion is so much a part of your life that you feel he won't be able to understand a key part of who you are by not being religious himself.
    I'm an atheist myself, and that's kind of how I am with strong theists...I just don't "get" where they are coming from in their thinking. But I'm totally fine with the Christmas-and-Easter-ers

  10. #20
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    Now I'm getting mixed reviews from the people posting on this forum. It might be okay to hang out with him (he and his roommates propound it to me and some of you say it's fine), but alternately, he could get very hurt. I guess I might have to just ignore this friendship 'till he finds someone, as cheeseburger-poster sd. Sometimes I wish none of this romantic interest had happened. I wish we were just platonic friends the whole time. He's so great. I don't want to lose his friendship. But our getting along so well is why we became interested in each other. I've tried to limit my seeing him. He lives with a bunch of my guy friends. He told me that he didn't think I should be anywhere but there, so I started hanging out again. Crap.

    I agree with you, CC, that this is a great pairing. It feels better than maybe any other interaction I've had personality-wise.

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