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  1. #31
    Senior Member flameskull95's Avatar
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    INFPs are shy in a different way, - in other words ENFPs can open up about this anxiety but INFPs are more likely to fumble and make everything awkward if they try to.
    I'm a INFP - The sociopath

    I think I'm either a 4w5, 4w3, 6w5 or 9w1. Most possibly 4w5.

    Feeling FiNe

  2. #32
    Senior Member tkae.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    yes, but ENFPs are often described as having various introverted tendencies not present in other extroverts
    You're overthinking it.

    That's the problem with the ENFP/INFP divide. People otherthink it.

    One of my best friends I had pegged as an INFP, then I find out she lives in a dorm room with three other girls. I wouldn't have thought anything about it, except that she turned down a one-person apartment for her four-person one.

    I asked her how she could possibly live with three other people when she had the option of a single apartment, not understanding how an INFP could ever live without their privacy. She said it's because she got lonely and preferred living with roommates.

    Find out a few days later that she's tested as an ENFP.

    Basically, INFPs get their energy from periods of solitude and privacy, i.e. introversion, where extroverts get their energy from social situations and extrapersonal experiences, i.e. extroversion.

    It's all about how social stimuli affect us: to an INFP, social situations of any kind are incredibly draining (EDIT: it's immediate and noticeable. A recent experience was when my teacher's son, who has Asperger's, cornered me in a conversation, and after five minutes of his machine-gun-suppression-fire-style conversation I could already feel my xNFP ability to empathize give way to a stress that had me wanting to just tell him to shut the fuck up, and as guilty as I felt about it the weight of it all had me physically exhausted and my typical social niceties, such as smiling and nodding and looking interested, dropping like flies in pesticide gas). To an ENFP, social situations are regenerative and refreshing. Otherwise, there's no fundamental difference.

    The differences you're thinking of are the ways that the different effects of social stimuli affect our behavior.
    "Not knowing how near the truth is, we seek it far away." -Ekaku Hakuin
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  3. #33
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tkae.
    To an ENFP, social situations are regenerative and refreshing. Otherwise, there's no fundamental difference.
    no, this is not true.

    not to be mean at all.

    i just want to make that very clear because i think it's a major source of confusion for ENFPs.

    ime, sometimes social situations are regenerative and refreshing. not always. sometimes they are too much and make my head hurt. i have a relative who has some psych issues and he does interrogation-style communication sometimes too. he's very sweet and genuine, but it still makes me want to run away. sometimes i love big parties; sometimes i have had enough. i need time to myself pretty much daily or i get agitated. however, i also need in-depth engagement and interaction with people, otherwise i go totally nuts in about 72 hours (unfortunately i have had to experience this before). but this is why ENFPs get confused and think they are INFPs. we are not always as outgoing as profiles say.

    as an interesting sidenote, i have noticed that ENFJs are often like this too. they need significant amounts of alone time. everyone needs some, of course, but more than the average extravert. they are more clear extraverts due to Fe, however. they initiate and direct people.

    extraversion and introversion are cognitive measures. not social.

    as far as i understand it, the difference can be boiled down to:
    • INFPs have an easier time - expend the least energy - looking inside themselves.
    • ENFPs have an easier time - expend the least energy - looking at connections that occur outside their own minds.


    hence social situations are often more regenerative and refreshing for an ENFP. if we're alone too much we get stuck in our heads, recirculating the same information over and over again, which is bad news. i'm guessing that's why your friend wanted to live with people. i know i wouldn't want to live alone unless i was friends with my neighbors and had several friends i knew nearby. however, social situations can often involve pressure, restrictions, expectations, judgment, a whole lot of loud noise, and other things that make them require more energy than being alone, even for an extravert.

    personally i am more N than i am F, which is why i never really felt "right" with INFP profiles even though i always tested INFP. i notice that most introverts seem to really know when they are introverts, though. i would think a general rule of thumb is that if someone is wondering if they are ENFP, they probably are. not always, of course. but i've seen more ENFPs misidentify than vice versa.

  4. #34
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tkae. View Post
    You're overthinking it.

    That's the problem with the ENFP/INFP divide. People otherthink it.

    One of my best friends I had pegged as an INFP, then I find out she lives in a dorm room with three other girls. I wouldn't have thought anything about it, except that she turned down a one-person apartment for her four-person one.

    I asked her how she could possibly live with three other people when she had the option of a single apartment, not understanding how an INFP could ever live without their privacy. She said it's because she got lonely and preferred living with roommates.

    Find out a few days later that she's tested as an ENFP.

    Basically, INFPs get their energy from periods of solitude and privacy, i.e. introversion, where extroverts get their energy from social situations and extrapersonal experiences, i.e. extroversion.

    It's all about how social stimuli affect us: to an INFP, social situations of any kind are incredibly draining (EDIT: it's immediate and noticeable. A recent experience was when my teacher's son, who has Asperger's, cornered me in a conversation, and after five minutes of his machine-gun-suppression-fire-style conversation I could already feel my xNFP ability to empathize give way to a stress that had me wanting to just tell him to shut the fuck up, and as guilty as I felt about it the weight of it all had me physically exhausted and my typical social niceties, such as smiling and nodding and looking interested, dropping like flies in pesticide gas). To an ENFP, social situations are regenerative and refreshing. Otherwise, there's no fundamental difference.

    The differences you're thinking of are the ways that the different effects of social stimuli affect our behavior.
    so then what do you call someone who enjoys spending most of their time alone and is seriously drained by crowds, but occassionaly desires to be an attention whore. do INFPs have occasional "I want to be an attention whore" moments?
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  5. #35
    Senior Member tkae.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    so then what do you call someone who enjoys spending most of their time alone and is seriously drained by crowds, but occassionaly desires to be an attention whore. do INFPs have occasional "I want to be an attention whore" moments?
    Just because we're drained by social interaction doesn't mean we don't need it. All humans need some degree of social interaction, just like plants need water.

    Even cacti need water. They just can't handle too much of it, as opposed to a plant in the rain forest, which can't handle a lack of it.
    "Not knowing how near the truth is, we seek it far away." -Ekaku Hakuin
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  6. #36
    Senior Member Chiharu's Avatar
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    I always thought of myself as an introvert because I have a few close friends and spend so much time in my own head. However, I find conversation really stimulating and hate being alone for extended periods of time. When I'm upset, people and conversations make me feel better, where long-term introspective searching feels exhausting and usually leaves me frustrated and disgusted. I think this may be a good sign that you are ENFP, but that's just my pet theory.

    What really made me decide that I was ENFP rather than INFP was the description of our backwards logic, how we understand the details through understanding the final product. I've been like this since I was really little, even in learning how to tie my shoes. If you use/understand this logic, you're probably ENFP.

    As to the xSTJ connections... I notice that ISTJ only comes out when I'm really, really, really stressed and pissed off, where as I come off as ESTJ through the "Ne-Te bitch slap" [xD] someone mentioned before much more readily and easily. So that might be something for ENFPs in doubt to consider.

  7. #37
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I just posted this in a Fi thread, but I found this quote very informative & clear about a major difference in the general mindsets of ENFPs and INFPs. Contrary to what people might assume based on function order, with ENFPs being N-dom and INFPs being F-dom, ENFPs are more people-oriented because their Fi is in support of an extroverted function, Ne, which is concerned with the external world, exploring it & its connections & creating new ones. However, an INFP's Ne is in service of Fi, meaning its focus is to find/invent external concepts/connections which help give form to feelings outside of the self, to form concepts on "the human condition" as opposed to simply knowing themselves. So INFPs are more idea/concept-oriented, which makes sense, being that we are introverts who are energized by our own thoughts far more than interaction.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lenore Thompson
    It's instructive to compare these types (INFPs) to ENFPs, who share the same two functions but understand life very differently. ENFPs rely on iNtuition to gauge the nature of the external context and Feeling to recognize the value of the people in it.

    INFPs approach reality from the other way around. Introverted Feeling prompts them to hold unconditional human value, and they use iNtuition to figure out what that means in terms of their existential context.
    Also, in regards to that last point I touched on, all people will get tired from interaction at some point. Every human needs rest, time alone, etc. The difference is where your threshold is at. An INFP will have a much lower threshold for becoming tired from interaction/external stimuli, and a much higher one for staying focused/entertained by their own thoughts (they won't get bored or start brooding so quickly). An ENFP has a higher threshold for stimuli/interaction, so they can endure more, but they may also get bored more quickly or find themselves depressed when alone with their own thoughts too much. At some point though, an ENFP will need time alone & an INFP will want company. It's a matter of figuring out where your threshold is & which you tend to tire of faster, which for many may seem quite balanced without close inspection (as most are not extreme E/I).

    I typed this up for another forum, and it's 100% observational, but it still might prove useful.

    Quote Originally Posted by Me (yeah its lame to quote yourself..whatever)
    Outside of the demeanor differences which mainly stem from I/E differences, I find a few differences in thinking as well.

    Leading with Ne, an irrational process, I find ENFPs less likely to introspect as deeply on matters, quicker to jump to conclusions, and have less restriction on their whims, which can get them into trouble (both in what they say & do). On a positive note, they are less likely to hesitate when new positive opportunities arise & don't over-think to the point of being inhibited.

    Leading with Fi, a rational process, INFPs tend to be more introspective, filtering their intuition in search of what is truly significant & meaningful. This basically makes them less prolific with ideas, or at least in expressing or realizing them. It also adds a level of being inhibited. I definitely would not say INFPs are less open to newness (in some areas, I find myself MORE open than some ENFPs I know because it boils down to a matter of values), but simply more judicious. This can actually make an INFP more responsible & grounded than ENFPs in some ways; the Ne whims are checked by a Fi sifting of importance. As a downside, it may inhibit the INFP to be overly cautious, not because they are not drawn to novelty, but because they see the negatives too easily & have over-thought it.

    With Te as tertiary, ENFPs can have a bossy streak, can state opinions more strongly than they even feel, but can also be exceptional at impromptu organization & leadership. INFPs will appear more easy-going. But they have Te as inferior, which leads to a weird critical, perfectionism that pops up under stress or when the INFP has deemed something important.

    Inferior Si in ENFPs seems to result in bouts of sappy nostalgia and fear of change when under stress, both of which are atypical of ENFPs since it's not an everyday mentality for them. I see this less often in INFPs. Tertiary Si in INFP results in these great moments of being grounded, which for the "ultimate idealist" is rather priceless. As mentioned above, there is an aspect of caution that anchors Ne to avoid rash decisions. The past lessons come to mind, and the INFP makes better decisions, being both aware of the past trends & future possibilities. Si also works creatively for INFPs, which means there's out-of-character attention to detail, especially in creative projects or the INFPs' "causes". On a negative note, this occasionally makes an INFPs' work seem heavy-handed & overwrought.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by tkae. View Post
    It's all about how social stimuli affect us: to an INFP, social situations of any kind are incredibly draining
    I don't see it this way. I think it is about how much social stress there is. If I hang out with people I know well and like, there is no social stress, no facades, I don't need to impress anyone or even think about how I present myself. I can be in a situation like this for a long time without feeling exhausted. But, if I the social situation demands me to conform to a role, I get exhausted very fast. I think the quality of the relationships is much more important than the time spent with people.

  9. #39
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tkae. View Post
    You're overthinking it.

    That's the problem with the ENFP/INFP divide. People otherthink it.

    One of my best friends I had pegged as an INFP, then I find out she lives in a dorm room with three other girls. I wouldn't have thought anything about it, except that she turned down a one-person apartment for her four-person one.

    I asked her how she could possibly live with three other people when she had the option of a single apartment, not understanding how an INFP could ever live without their privacy. She said it's because she got lonely and preferred living with roommates.

    Find out a few days later that she's tested as an ENFP.

    Basically, INFPs get their energy from periods of solitude and privacy, i.e. introversion, where extroverts get their energy from social situations and extrapersonal experiences, i.e. extroversion.

    It's all about how social stimuli affect us: to an INFP, social situations of any kind are incredibly draining (EDIT: it's immediate and noticeable. A recent experience was when my teacher's son, who has Asperger's, cornered me in a conversation, and after five minutes of his machine-gun-suppression-fire-style conversation I could already feel my xNFP ability to empathize give way to a stress that had me wanting to just tell him to shut the fuck up, and as guilty as I felt about it the weight of it all had me physically exhausted and my typical social niceties, such as smiling and nodding and looking interested, dropping like flies in pesticide gas). To an ENFP, social situations are regenerative and refreshing. Otherwise, there's no fundamental difference.

    The differences you're thinking of are the ways that the different effects of social stimuli affect our behavior.
    if it's really that simple, I'm clearly INFP, but I don't think it is. the intensely Ne-Te communication style, weak feeling preference, ease with conflict and strong Te all point to ENFP. perhaps INFPs being mistaken for ENFPs is just as common as the reverse
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  10. #40
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    I think orangeappled hit the nail on the head with her functional application of the differences. This is crucial because ENFPs can very often seem like social introverts (or at least borderline), apparently, it seems quite common - especially from the ENFPs on this site.

    I really relate to the "bossy streak" and stating opinions strongly, even if sometimes I don't mean them as much as it might seem.

    I also follow whims, own a jump to conclusions mat with significant wear and tear, and have deep bouts of nostalgia.

    Elfboy, if you aren't an ENFP, I'll eat my goddamned hat.

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