Interesting thread! I'm not an NF, but T is my weakest function and I find myself somewhat relating to this. I don't cry much, but once in a while when something hits me inside, it really hits me - and it's like I can't hold it back. Later this year, I'm walking my sister down the aisle (in place of my father) and, yeah, that's the kind of situation that can cause me to get a little emotional - just the meaning behind it, the memories, etc. I recently got into this huge argument with an ESFJ family member of mine who went out of their way to say, "You can't get emotional at the wedding. You know that right?" I was like, "Huh? What are you talking about?" ESFJ says, "It's your sister's wedding - it's not your place to be emotional. It's her big day, not yours. Don't ruin it for her. If you feel like you need to cry, hold it back. Be strong for her." I was so freakin' dumbfounded by this it just blew up. I said, "First of all, I probably won't cry. Second of all, if the beauty of the moment hits me a certain way, I won't even be able to hold it back. It's like sneezing for me - I can't just 'not cry'. I could try - but there'd probably be a lot of snot involved - which would be even worse." It's not like I can just choose when I want to cry and when I don't. I understand the idea of being under control, composing yourself, etc. - but what is this obsession that society has with "not letting people see what you're really feeling/thinking"?
Like I said, I don't cry much, but when I need to - I need to. It's just something that wells up in me and has to come out. It is what it is, why should I fake it or try to hold it in and end up blowing snot bubbles? I don't know - the idea that you have to purposely suppress this stuff troubles me. Only when I suppress it am I being inauthentic. Know what I mean?