[NF] INFJs/INFPs - what in this list do you relate to?

[Billy]

I often don’t regard things as right/wrong – it’s often just a matter of perspective

*There's a lot of things I regard as wrong, though context can be important. Basically, people disagree about things an awful lot, and what I was trying to capture was the way in which I often regard multiple viewpoints/opinions as 'right' on some level. The level of moral implication or magnitude implied by 'right/wrong' covers a very wide range as well.*

Relate. I have a set of interior ethics which I feel guilt if I dally away from, but most of them I recognize as simply being values that were put into me by my parents, and thats where the guilt stems from, letting them down... This was a much more prominent feeling as a kid, as I age though it factors less and less and I find myself quite free emotionally in many situations to do things that I sense as "wrong" but that doesnt really bug me. I used to always ask questions to myself like "what would dad think if I did this, or how would this make my mother feel, not anymore. I have settled into my moral nihilism rather nicely.

If I’m not sure what to do about something, I tend to wait for the ‘right’ solution to emerge naturally, rather than force a decision

Dont relate

If there is 1 thing I hate its WAITING! UGH! I try to gather as much data and advice and discussion as I can about something and then I make a choice. If its wrong, I learn from my mistakes and apply those lessons to the future, I am not afraid of failure, but not doing something would drive me nuts!

I seem to spend an awful lot of time trying to ‘figure things out’

relate

This is what my natural state is, I am incredibly curious and I am always trying to figure some riddle out, be it a person, a problem, the nature of life etc.

I'm often pre-occupied with resolving/exploring negative emotions

*'Negative' in this context can be taken to mean emotions like melancholy, despair, anger, fear, shame, guilt etc., regardless of whether these are perceived to have 'value' or not.*

Dont relate

Eh, not really. If I deem the feeling illogical and harmful to what I want to accomplish I will try to figure out where it stems from and if I can quantify its illogical nature I will force myself to ignore it. If I dub the feelings as authentic I attack the problems that cause it. But in general I dont focus on my emotions like that, I focus more on my situation and other peoples feelings and how they feel about me and how I come off to them.

I feel I need other people's acceptance too much – it can interfere with my independence of mind/self-expression

hmm, relate/ dont relate.

For people that matter to me, their acceptance of me is vital. For people who dont really factor into my life or emotions I could give a fuck less. I never cared about popularity or fitting in. I actually prefer not being under scrutiny or people paying me attention, I feel like I cannot operate effectively.

I'll isolate myself/risk loneliness to obtain relative independence of mind/self-expression, if necessary.

Dont relate.

I do this naturally anyway, but after I recharge I NEED to be around people I love and admire otherwise I feel like I am rotting away.

I can't imagine feeling anyone was an extension of myself – this is a totally alien concept to me

Relate

A woman? No, definitely not. My children one day? Yes for sure, not only physically will they be an extension of me, but by my raising them, I will see some of my consciousness awake in them I am certain.

I find typologies like Jung/MBTI/Enneagram overly interpretative – I wish there was a way of objectively establishing type

Agree... and I hate that people use it like astrology and a new way to prove how much better they are then other people. Ns vs S's T's Vs F's its fucking boring.

Especially since MBTI is so flimsy.

I’ve had a lot of trouble typing, because I see highly contrasting sides to myself, some of which seem incompatible with INFx

Relate. Sometimes I think I am a T, and other times I KNOW I am an F I bounce between INFJ, INTJ, and INTP.

I often worry about being a ‘rotten’ person deep down, and can feel guilty merely imagining myself as capable of doing something 'bad' or selfish

Dont relate.

I cant see myself hurting people who are innocent, but partake sometimes in violent fantasies about revenge, retribution and carnage for those that I feel have wronged me. At the core I know there is no good or bad, and that its all ultimately perspective, and I have done messed up stuff, so It doesnt really phase me because people are people.

I can be highly amused by my own imagined scenarios. Sometimes what is amusing me is just a concept/abstraction.

Totally. All I have is my imagination.

Immediate reality tends to bore me. I escape into fantasy regularly.

Reality isnt boring, its just not stimulating enough. People, society, rules, are boring and common, I trail off when people are talking to me ALL THE TIME because of the banality.

Sometimes I think reality is just there to suggest the possibilities, like the raw material to (psychologically) construct something better or more interesting/inspiring.

Dont relate... I just experience it as it comes, I try not to subscribe that there is any actual meaning beyond what I give it. Things just are what they are and there is no reason for it or any of its possibilities.

I hate disorganisation, chaos and being unprepared. I have aids to attempt to ‘tame’ this, e.g. spreadsheets, lists, being tidy etc.

I dont mind a little disorganization as long as I got the plan in my head. I keep it all in there anyway, so I could care less if my desk is messy unless its going to paint me in a bad picture or something and I need to set a good impression. The only thing close to this that I dislike is when people are slow or incapable of making decisions based on the info at hand.

I'm more likely to do what the moment suggests as the best thing to do (if it 'suggests' anything) than stick with a pre-prepared plan, if left to my own devices (for better or worse).

Yes and no, I will often make a decision or a plan on shitty data knowing it will change later just so I can have something settled, I dont mind changing course if I have to or correcting mistakes as long as I am making progress.

 

[mintleaf]

1. I often don’t regard things as right/wrong – it’s often just a matter of perspective
I don't always regard things as absolutely right or wrong, but as right or wrong based on context, and I still haven't decided what my stance is on many 'moral questions.'

2. If I’m not sure what to do about something, I tend to wait for the ‘right’ solution to emerge naturally, rather than force a decision
Really depends on what we're talking about. for example, I'm trying to decide where to go to college right now; I've tried to force the decision by weighing pros and cons, etc., and in the end I'll probably go with the most financially feasible school with a decent academic reputation. But right now, my favorites have all been decided by emotional response.

3. I seem to spend an awful lot of time trying to ‘figure things out’
Oh, my god, yes. I'm always wondering about how I could reframe/refine my perspectives on all manner of things, concrete and abstract

4. I'm often pre-occupied with resolving/exploring negative emotions
Well, when it comes to more cut-and-dry emotions like anger, annoyance, disappointment, etc. I typically find resolution quickly and easily. I hate to focus on those things because, with enough self-control, they're easily managed -- pre-occupation with them feels self-absorbed. But I'm always pre-occupied with exploring more amorphous states like unease/dissonance. They won't leave me alone if I ignore them, so this kind of reflection at least feels productive.

5. I feel I need other people's acceptance too much – it can interfere with my independence of mind/self-expression
No. I do use other people as mirrors -- assess myself using their responses/feedback -- but I don't take others' opinions too much to heart unless they're genuinely insightful.

6. I'll isolate myself/risk loneliness to obtain relative independence of mind/self-expression, if necessary.
I don't feel like interaction with others is a threat to my independence of mind, if that's what this is asking. It's definitely a threat to my peace of mind at times, and I avoid opening up, but I've never justified self-isolation in the more literal sense.

7. I can't imagine feeling anyone was an extension of myself – this is a totally alien concept to me
? Not totally alien, but I haven't found anyone I could consider an extension of myself. I've only felt like that in passing moments...usually I feel very separate. I guess it could happen.

8. I find typologies like Jung/MBTI/Enneagram overly interpretative – I wish there was a way of objectively establishing type
I'm not really concerned with the accuracy of typologies. I doubt there's any way of objectively establishing type -- seems like that would necessitate a strong scientific foundation, which feels inappropriate for a system of ideas. Types are always just very rough sketches, and it's hard for me to envision a way of objectively qualifying something so nebulous and abstract. I'd be interested to hear theories of how this could be accomplished, though!
To me, typologies are springboards for conversation and reflection more than anything. Not that the systems don't deserve a great amount of respect re: abstract thought and analysis, but they probably shouldn't be taken seriously as concrete tools.

9. I’ve had a lot of trouble typing, because I see highly contrasting sides to myself, some of which seem incompatible with INFx
No. I'm a little resentful of certain INFx descriptions/stereotypes, obviously (who wouldn't be), but I haven't had trouble typing. Briefly thought I was an INFJ (respectable Ni/Fe/Ti) or ENFP (lol)

10. I often worry about being a ‘rotten’ person deep down, and can feel guilty merely imagining myself as capable of doing something 'bad' or selfish
Yep. Well, I don't think I ever would do something extremely terrible, but I sometimes worry that my motives for being a "good" person aren't entirely solid, that I just act a certain way to make my conscience shut up. so, like, that I just act out of paranoia rather than genuine concern for others.

11. I can be highly amused by my own imagined scenarios. Sometimes what is amusing me is just a concept/abstraction.
I'm not as much of a daydreamer as my type implies, I relate more to the second sentence.

12. Immediate reality tends to bore me. I escape into fantasy regularly.
I try to be engaged with and interested in immediate reality, but I lean towards spending time in my own head. I know you aren't specifically referring to physical immediate reality, but gym class is not a good time for me. Inner babble is really distracting, and it's usually not even important -- like, if I were Kierkegaard, it would be excusable, but as it is I just feel dumb

13. Sometimes I think reality is just there to suggest the possibilities, like the raw material to (psychologically) construct something better or more interesting/inspiring.
This has never occurred to me before. it's an interesting concept; i don't think i'd agree? I mean, in a Christian worldview, that's probably considered one purpose of *our* reality, but not the only one...I'm agnostic, but I'd agree that reality as we perceive it could be said to both suggest and mask a greater reality. (I'm aware of how ineloquent that was but I don't feel like fixing it)

14. I hate disorganisation, chaos and being unprepared. I have aids to attempt to ‘tame’ this, e.g. spreadsheets, lists, being tidy etc.
Yeah, I dislike all of that, but I'm not always very intentional about 'taming' it
or: I don't always organize, but when I do, it's a 72 hour masterpiece of critical thought.

15. I'm more likely to do what the moment suggests as the best thing to do (if it 'suggests' anything) than stick with a pre-prepared plan, if left to my own devices (for better or worse).
my decision-making is really inconsistent, but I usually don't stick with the plan. depends how much I care about the task (or whatever). if it's something tedious that creativity would probably be wasted on, I stick with the plan even if it's a little inefficient.

 

[flameskull95]

1. Yes. Usually when I have space to think and speak freely on something.

2. Yeah. I usually wait on something, from above or as a probability of chance if I'm 'outta luck'.
3. True. My isolate moments (which are many) are just me sitting back trying to 'figure things out'. Whether that's an escapade of feeling (usually not resolved) or possibilities/thought - which sometimes lead to philosophically fruitful concepts around life and meaning.

4. All the time. I would say that I'm more of the person to set aside how all the usual negative feelings to feel 'positive emotion' rather than the other way around.
5. True. I can barely live with other people's expectations/standards, but my expression, individuality, quirks and speech, usually in public places and stuff, are confined by them.

6. Haha I can relate to this as well. My thoughts/feelings can get way too superficial or 'numb' or 'not genuine' if I give in to social interaction. I need to be alone for awhile in order for me to 'actualize' my perspective, - feelings/energy/thoughts alike.
7. I'm open to the imagination of one. (However unrealistic). Other than that, I feel I'm no one to judge what an 'extension' of myself would be, considering I'm not too aware of who I am exactly to begin with.
9. I see contrasting sides, but that may just be my opinion of it.

10. Yes. I do feel this way a lot. Deep down I feel like I could be harboring a lot of things that 'are wrong with me' that could explode on people.
11. Yes. Fully. To The Core. This is the reason why I laugh and smile for no reason whatsoever and this is also the reason for other people's confusion over me laughing and smiling for no reason.
12. Yes. I am a stereotypical, dazed individual. But more 'dazed, then confused' (by reality) than 'dazed and confused'.

13. Yes. Sometimes I think this. But that's probably just to propagate even more possibilities. HA!.
14. Yeah. Pretty much, I've been called 'overly organized' and went into MBTI initially thinking I was ISTJ. But then I figured these were more negative quirks that strained my psyche as self-defense rather than things I preferred. (Eg: things like organizing study schedules by the minuscule minutes and seconds of a day to increase efficiency, superorganizing to-do lists, superorganizing desks, etc.)



I can't relate to the thinking of 8. that much, it is theory and it is open to development. 15. I'm not 'more likely to', if it said 'sometimes' then I would have that trait.

 

[_eric_]

1. I often don’t regard things as right/wrong – it’s often just a matter of perspective
   no, though there are some exceptions here and there
   
   
2. If I’m not sure what to do about something, I tend to wait for the ‘right’ solution to emerge naturally, rather than force a decision
   If it's something that I am able to wait on, then I wait because I hate making mistakes, but if it has to be done quickly, then I force myself to decide.
   
   
3. I seem to spend an awful lot of time trying to ‘figure things out’
   yes
   
   
4. I'm often pre-occupied with resolving/exploring negative emotions
   yes
   
   
5. I feel I need other people's acceptance too much – it can interfere with my independence of mind/self-expression
   no, it is nice to be accepted but ultimately not necessary in order to be myself
   
   
6. I can't imagine feeling anyone was an extension of myself – this is a totally alien concept to me
   no
   
7. I find typologies like Jung/MBTI/Enneagram overly interpretative – I wish there was a way of objectively establishing type
   yes but it is still useful, just don't take it super seriously
   
   
8. I’ve had a lot of trouble typing, because I see highly contrasting sides to myself, some of which seem incompatible with INFx
   no, I've been very certain of my type since not long after getting into typology
   
   
9. I often worry about being a ‘rotten’ person deep down, and can feel guilty merely imagining myself as capable of doing something 'bad' or selfish
   no, I'd much rather be thinking of the positive things I could be doing
   
10. I can be highly amused by my own imagined scenarios. Sometimes what is amusing me is just a concept/abstraction.
    yes
    
    
11. Immediate reality tends to bore me. I escape into fantasy regularly.
    yes, for the most part
    
    
12. Sometimes I think reality is just there to suggest the possibilities, like the raw material to (psychologically) construct something better or more interesting/inspiring.
    not sure how to answer this as I don't really understand it
    
    
13. I hate disorganisation, chaos and being unprepared. I have aids to attempt to ‘tame’ this, e.g. spreadsheets, lists, being tidy etc.
    yes, I don't make actual lists though, I keep it all in my mind
    
    
14. I'm more likely to do what the moment suggests as the best thing to do (if it 'suggests' anything) than stick with a pre-prepared plan, if left to my own devices (for better or worse).
    no, unless the immediate suggestion is better than what I already planned

.

 

[liana]

This list is VERY accurate, at least for me - I think I got a few goosebumps. (One point voiced my EXACT feelings towards something I've lately become very aware of - 7: I can't imagine anyone else being an extension of me. IE significant other, boyfriend/girlfriend, whatever. Even things like best friends. I am my own person.) All, really, apart from being disorganised (which I am, desperately) - although I can relate completely to "unpreparedness". I hate feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, positions in which I place myself at the mercy of others' opinions or I am depended on particularly for something. I am usually incredibly laid-back, but I get high-strung when situations like that arise. Heavy expectation places burdens on me that I am so terrified I will disappoint.