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  1. #1
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
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    Default Roles: all the world's a stage

    If you are actually acting, that's good. You can mention it here, as in you are actually playing a character in an actual play.

    This is for people to describe various roles they play based on the concept of life being a stage. Is the role really you? Are we just a collection of roles?

    Sometimes I find that with another person, it's like a portal. I am BAJ with that person, and outside of the context of that person, or position, the role does not exist.

    So in recent weeks, it has been said: "BAJ, go out into the world and be your authentic true self." In that you'll find lots of rejection, but also deep friendships based on who you really are.

    Ah, "getting into character", maybe some roles are just more comfortable, and I can pursue that, but I'm not sure I can leave playing a role. What is the difference between the "authentic true self" and the "collection of roles"?

    Also, if we have capacity to be harmonious and kind, would it not be generous to be whatever role which the person needs? We may perceive the box or general boundaries of a person's understanding, and not go charging about like a bull crashing into their walls, but lightly tug at them in an attempt to gently expand their mind? That is, I can try to be what they need so that they can have the best future for them, not for yourself.

    So there is the next puzzler! What about my needs in all that? What about your needs in the light of roles you play?

    Anyhow, I am interested in your roles. Are you your collection of roles? Or is there some special you which is authentic and apart of wearing the "hats" that characterize you? Is you MBTI profile a "role"? How do you tell the difference between the "role you play" and "the real you?"

    As always, I love anecdotes, but generalizations are good too.
    Last edited by BAJ; 03-20-2011 at 02:12 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persona_(psychology)

    MBTI type isnt your persona or any sort of role. usually people adapt their first function as their persona(but this may vary in different situations and with people you are more comfortable with), because its what you do best.

    i think this is why introverts might have problems on dealing with strangers, especially if he havent developed some sort of role on how to act with strangers(like a role of salesman if he has worked as a salesman and adapted to that role).
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  3. #3
    small potatoes NotOfTwo's Avatar
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    I tend to have many hats. I do change what side of my personality I show to different individuals, based on their needs as I perceive them. It is not that I am being fake at all, it is just that I have many aspects of being. I have struggled with the fact that many of the people I know, would not be able to reconcile their perceptions of me if they ever had a discussion. Who am I, if I am so inconsistent? I am submissive, bold, calm, hyper, funny, boring, jaded and innocent. I have not been able to decide if I should be homogenized or just let it be. I don't even know how I would connect all these things to be the same to everyone. As for a specific role, I guess I would say I try to be a supportive family member when I am around them but I am not naturally drawn to doing that. I love them but I would be fine in another state too. Hmm I don't know if this moves the discussion forward but... good topic. Is this issue an XNXP thing?

  4. #4
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persona_(psychology)

    MBTI type isnt your persona or any sort of role. usually people adapt their first function as their persona(but this may vary in different situations and with people you are more comfortable with), because its what you do best.

    i think this is why introverts might have problems on dealing with strangers, especially if he havent developed some sort of role on how to act with strangers(like a role of salesman if he has worked as a salesman and adapted to that role).
    Quote Originally Posted by NotOfTwo View Post
    I tend to have many hats. I do change what side of my personality I show to different individuals, based on their needs as I perceive them. It is not that I am being fake at all, it is just that I have many aspects of being. I have struggled with the fact that many of the people I know, would not be able to reconcile their perceptions of me if they ever had a discussion. Who am I, if I am so inconsistent? I am submissive, bold, calm, hyper, funny, boring, jaded and innocent. I have not been able to decide if I should be homogenized or just let it be. I don't even know how I would connect all these things to be the same to everyone. As for a specific role, I guess I would say I try to be a supportive family member when I am around them but I am not naturally drawn to doing that. I love them but I would be fine in another state too. Hmm I don't know if this moves the discussion forward but... good topic. Is this issue an XNXP thing?



    I believe that just because you are INFP, it doesn't mean you have to be a psychologist or anything. In "Gifts Differing", she has blocked of the types for different occupations. However, I notice the percent of non-typical is not zero. Thus, INFPs or other types could end up doing different things.

    Case in point, I "manage" a fish hatchery. This is not really a typical role. I make schedules. I conduct meetings and all sorts of things that are atypical or not what I prefer to be doing in that moment. I have to make lists. I have to make plans. I have to coordinate the arrangement of 100s of details. This is a role I play, a hat I wear.

    Likewise, my nuclear family got together at one of my parents' houses yesterday. We do the yard clean up. I split the firewood. I clear the brush. I do not enjoy it. They do not enjoy the things I like, but they are "my family". For example, they do sporting events and I like the opera. We don't mesh.

    I perceive that I need to find a friend through different roles? Better question: what role to find love? What roles to find friends?

    I'm careful not to insult things about others based on their world view, but when placating others become "dormat-ism." I'm not very "in your face" with who I am, so how can anyone know the real me?

    Also, there's the difficulty of "darkside" integration. Many girls who've went out with seem to say that I'm like a monk, spiritual counselor, or mentor. The "darkside" is carefully locked away in a cave, inside a mystery, wrapped in an enigma.

    It's like Anne LeMotte in "Bird by Bird" (probably INTP or INFP?)...responds to "Take you clothes off and lay down!" Whoooahh! Too confrontational for me. I don't think I could fill that role.

    Ah, so what role can I fill that is comfortable for me for dark-side integration?

    On my trip to visit my family, I wrote about 10 pages while driving concerning all the roles people play, real or unreal. Is the true role always what Joseph Campbell said in "The Power of Myth"? He said, "Following your bliss." Do you think that's really the key? Or is it something else? Could your bliss lead you to be alone? Could you bliss lead you the wrong way? Is the "right" way independent of feeling?

    Does growth and finding others imply adopting or assuming or becoming a role which you find uncomfortable? How much so?

  5. #5
    small potatoes NotOfTwo's Avatar
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    I think perhaps growth is finding/developing another side of yourself that can fill the social need. I hope "your bliss" doesn't lead to being alone. I would prefer it lead to connection with at least an other if not others. I think being uncomfortable leads to growth not the other way around. Ideally that is.

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