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  1. #1
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    Default Not so ENFP anymore/ how do u deal with ESFP mother as an ENFP?

    well i am pregnant 28 weeks life has been tough so far and is gonna get worse. I am alone in my pregancy haven't seen family in weeks not that the one i do see care very much about what goes on in my life. The father of the baby is not around hasn't been from a week or so after i found out.
    I did the test again and i came up as ISFJ which make no sense to me but i know my fun loving ENFP self is gone. I want her to come back but am lost in what seems to me the INFP loop of depression.

    I which i didn't have all the feelings i have or atleast wish i was better at talking about them. I front alot basically. Natural born actress. I find it very hard to open up and if put on the spot rage takes over rather than being emotional. I cry every morning, afternoon and day. I hate what has become of me, i am even failing at my studies have hardly anything ready for my baby girl and worst where i live when not in halls is emotionally draining. I live with my ESFP mother who only cares about herself and what effects her. i have been telling her for months i need to talk toyou i want our relationship back but hse has time and time again made it very clear she doesn't have the time. That is until she needs money, as most ESFP's are very bad with money. i miss my little siter like mad, future ENFP andfuture baffla lol but i can't see her without my mum and if my mum is there it just gets volitile.

    Does anyone know how to snap and ENFP out of depression?
    or does anyone know how to deal with an ESFP mother as and ENFP?

    any advice would help i'm at my last straw, i wanna do the ENFP thing and run away and start again but fear and morals hold me firm like cement. and the love of my baby sister.

  2. #2
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by baffla View Post
    well i am pregnant 28 weeks life has been tough so far and is gonna get worse. I am alone in my pregancy haven't seen family in weeks not that the one i do see care very much about what goes on in my life. The father of the baby is not around hasn't been from a week or so after i found out.
    I did the test again and i came up as ISFJ which make no sense to me but i know my fun loving ENFP self is gone. I want her to come back but am lost in what seems to me the INFP loop of depression.

    I which i didn't have all the feelings i have or atleast wish i was better at talking about them. I front alot basically. Natural born actress. I find it very hard to open up and if put on the spot rage takes over rather than being emotional. I cry every morning, afternoon and day. I hate what has become of me, i am even failing at my studies have hardly anything ready for my baby girl and worst where i live when not in halls is emotionally draining. I live with my ESFP mother who only cares about herself and what effects her. i have been telling her for months i need to talk toyou i want our relationship back but hse has time and time again made it very clear she doesn't have the time. That is until she needs money, as most ESFP's are very bad with money. i miss my little siter like mad, future ENFP andfuture baffla lol but i can't see her without my mum and if my mum is there it just gets volitile.

    Does anyone know how to snap and ENFP out of depression?
    or does anyone know how to deal with an ESFP mother as and ENFP?

    any advice would help i'm at my last straw, i wanna do the ENFP thing and run away and start again but fear and morals hold me firm like cement. and the love of my baby sister.
    Aww How old are you? I'm guessing really young to be pregnant? Best thing you can do is find a friend, family member, or counselor who you trust to talk to. I would not try to use the mother as a counsel because your opinion of her is already bad, you won't feel comforted by her at this point. Maybe now, when you're in this state, is not the best time to worry about others actions. (Even if it is your mother.) Try to do things that you used to enjoy, even in small amounts. Get plenty of sleep. Eat nourishing foods.

    Edit: (Also, take into account that some of this may be due to pregnancy hormones.)
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Aww How old are you? I'm guessing really young to be pregnant? Best thing you can do is find a friend, family member, or counselor who you trust to talk to. I would not try to use the mother as a counsel because your opinion of her is already bad, you won't feel comforted by her at this point. Maybe now, when you're in this state, is not the best time to worry about others actions. (Even if it is your mother.) Try to do things that you used to enjoy, even in small amounts. Get plenty of sleep. Eat nourishing foods.
    i'm 24 this year so not that young. my closest frien is an INFP who is great we have a laugh but who also gets depressed and INFP aren't always the best with forceful snap out of it. I also have arthritus so getting around is hard i love fashion but pregnant isn't an easy look to pull off i tell you. I used to socilalise now i won't leave my room at halls and can't even work coz nothing is ready and if i go home it is war. Mum's F is an an all time low. as for other friends they r nowhere to be seen like the father of my baby. my closest relative in across the world and has loads going on and is under alot of presssue so i don't want to add to it.
    counselours just don't work they get that "i feel sorry for you" look and i clam up. i hate pity and in real life people are quick to pity someone

  4. #4
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by baffla View Post
    i'm 24 this year so not that young. my closest frien is an INFP who is great we have a laugh but who also gets depressed and INFP aren't always the best with forceful snap out of it. I also have arthritus so getting around is hard i love fashion but pregnant isn't an easy look to pull off i tell you. I used to socilalise now i won't leave my room at halls and can't even work coz nothing is ready and if i go home it is war. Mum's F is an an all time low. as for other friends they r nowhere to be seen like the father of my baby. my closest relative in across the world and has loads going on and is under alot of presssue so i don't want to add to it.
    counselours just don't work they get that "i feel sorry for you" look and i clam up. i hate pity and in real life people are quick to pity someone
    Okay, 24 is good. I agree that counselors are bad but some people really like them, (so I always mention them to people in these situations.) Some friends do tend to run off in bad times. It is hard to find true friends that stick with you! I agree that INFP and ENFP may be a bad mix if you're trying to get you both out of a depression. (That Fi tendency to stay in your head more than usual.)

    I think the best thing you can do is to focus on the outside world a little bit, even if only for an hour. Like go for a walk on a nice day in a nice area... Go shopping at that cutsie "motherhood" store. (Bring your friend.) Sometimes the best therapy is to actually try to forget about what's bothering you for a short while so that you can come back with a fresh and clear mind for problem solving.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  5. #5
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    lol INFP and ENFP Fi is deadly at times lol
    she has been trying to get me out all day but i look outside and its like no, can't face it today. We had a shopping trip last week but i ended uo getting down as my old size 6 -8 body is nowhere to been seen on my 5ft frame. plus i suffered alot of pain after thr trip. which reminded me of yet another thing i am finding hard to deal with. i will try, when it gets a lil darker to go out and face the world, just finding it hard to motivate myself. i haven't even really eaten today coz i don't want to see anyone. I thought about this for a while early and felt even worse coz my unborn baby girl will if not already begin to suffer :-(

    I've tried every angle me and my friend can think of with regards to my mum but she is so cold and spiteful. Calling me fat, throwing things in my face and just being plain volitile. I have not met an ESFP like her in that sense which makes me wonder if she is an ESFP or maybe her percentages have leveled out i dunno.

  6. #6
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by baffla View Post
    lol INFP and ENFP Fi is deadly at times lol
    she has been trying to get me out all day but i look outside and its like no, can't face it today. We had a shopping trip last week but i ended uo getting down as my old size 6 -8 body is nowhere to been seen on my 5ft frame. plus i suffered alot of pain after thr trip. which reminded me of yet another thing i am finding hard to deal with. i will try, when it gets a lil darker to go out and face the world, just finding it hard to motivate myself. i haven't even really eaten today coz i don't want to see anyone. I thought about this for a while early and felt even worse coz my unborn baby girl will if not already begin to suffer :-(

    I've tried every angle me and my friend can think of with regards to my mum but she is so cold and spiteful. Calling me fat, throwing things in my face and just being plain volitile. I have not met an ESFP like her in that sense which makes me wonder if she is an ESFP or maybe her percentages have leveled out i dunno.
    Sounds like she's unhealthy and abusive. It has to be really hard to have to live with that! Not eating? That's like the worst thing you can do for yourself and your baby. (I'm not trying to guilt you or anything, I know you're going through a rough time.) Go to the grocery store and buy some cheese sticks and baby carrots.. any small snack that you can suffer through. (Even the bad for you stuff.) You can't think and solve problems if you're not eating and you're building another being.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  7. #7
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Try to remember this is passing, too.. I can't relate at all to what you're going through, but as a fellow EFP I know it is really difficult to function at all without enough supports, and it is also really hard to have broad perspective when you're in a funk. That Fi can re ally take hold and draw you within yourself and make it seem like right now is your whole life. Just imagine a time when it will be better and you will be stronger from the whole experience.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  8. #8
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    thats what my INFP friend says to me. :-) just wish it was easier, wish i could get away so i could block out how i'm feeling now and deal with it and look forward to the future. I will try, dunno if i can get much stronger. I've been like this ever since i can remember, career, fighter or causes, the person everyone loves to hate. lol ENFP trait lol
    I get any stringer i'll turn butch lol but i hope your right

  9. #9
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    oh i did have a good old english crumpets with butter and jam lol

  10. #10
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    ! i'm sorry you're going through this baffla

    - have you talked to your professors about your classes? they might cut you some slack, or at least help you improve.

    - are there safe places you can go in the outside world? like a park or store that you know makes you happy?

    - one of the best things you can do for depression is to do the stuff you used to enjoy, even if you don't think that you will enjoy it right now. go to your old favorite places, even if it's hard, eat your old favorite foods, even if they seem unappealing, do things that would use to strike you as fun. it's a therapy technique and it's shown to work well

    - all pregnant women are beautiful i imagine your body is lovely... i understand that you have a lot of things that you are feeling down about right now but your body doesn't have to be one of them you should go shopping at a maternity store, they will have clothes that make your body look beautiful, as i'm sure it does

    - have you tried looking for pregnancy support groups?

    - is there a way you can live near enough so that you can see your little sister but not with your mom? or is she very young? also i think even as much as you love your little sister, it's very important for both you and your baby that you get away from your mom now. having someone else who's very emotional isn't going to help you out of a bad emotional state, especially if they are not willing to help care for you. take care of yourself first, you can see your little sister more after you have the baby. write her letters or phone her if she can read/use a phone, in the meanwhile. or draw her things and mail them if she's little.

    - i can't block out that emotion either. we're E and FP, we introvert feelings and will keep funneling them and revolving them inside ourselves, and we take in information from the outside, so if the outside is not good... well. best thing to do, imo, is change the outside. surround yourself with things you like. get away from the things that are hurting you, as much as possible. listen to music you like, eat whatever you like (at this point anything is better than nothing), do whatever you feel like doing as long as it's productive. and if it's not, just choose something to do and do it anyway.

    - find an FJ mentor if you possibly can. a neighbor maybe, a support group leader, a spiritual leader, someone. they will be the best type, imo, to help take care of you right now. i can't imagine my ESFJ mom or ENFJ friend hearing about you in the state you're in and not doing everything they can to help.

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