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  1. #11
    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    I know a few NFJs who think NFPs are a handful, and NFPs who feel the same way about NFJs though they would never admit it.

  2. #12
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    why do you assume they would not admit it rather than they just don't feel it?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #13
    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    why do you assume they would not admit it rather than they just don't feel it?
    Because all other evidence points to the contrary.

    Their actions don't match their words.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    Because all other evidence points to the contrary.

    Their actions don't match their words.
    Then use your intuition and read between the lines?

  5. #15
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    There are certainly major differences, but I'd say there are differences between ALL types. If you asked me if I am more like an INFJ than an ESTJ, then I'd say yes, even though an ESTJ "shares" the same top 4 functions.

    Compare the typical demeanors of ENFx and INFx types....due to I/E differences in demeanor, at times, it can be harder to tell an ENFJ & ENFP apart than an ENFP & INFP.

    You can group types in many ways & find similarities & differences. You can group by processes, or the functions of those processes (ie. the middle two letters), by I/E or Pe/Je preferences, etc. Each type is designated as its own, unique type precisely because it's significantly different from the others, so how you group types is a matter of perspective and deciding what are the most important factors of their personality.
    estjs just AREN'T ALL THAT INTO AMPERSANDS, SRY INFPS who absolutely share more in common with us than infjs, particularly the organic, non-forum varieties.

    thinking of you

  6. #16
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Oh boy, here it goes... I hope this thread doesn't become another INFJ/ENFP spat.

    Firstly, Elfboy, given how you feel about the INFJs you've met, I think your list seems quite nonjudgemental. Good job, dude!

    Secondly, let's face it, you're no ordinary ENFP - most of them are Sevens, not Eights. Enneagram can have a pretty good influence on how people of those types function. INFPs who are Twos or Sixes can look INFJ-ish; vice-versa for INFJ Nines. Same deal with ENFP Twos or 7w6s and ENFJ Eights.

    Take me, for instance. If you look at my thread (decayed beyond belief), half of the posters think I'm an INFP and half think I'm an INFJ. There are some serious misconceptions going around about Fi/Fe, which is why threads like this quickly become a battlefield.

    Again, just my 2¢. I may elaborate a little later.

  7. #17
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    mm. we're close deep down inside, but our outward behaviors and often our surface motivations are different.

    i'm closest to INFPs personality-wise but tend to have better rapport IRL with ENFJs. i love INFJs online but i don't know how to interact with them IRL. they usually confuse me.

    sometimes Fe thinks Fi is irresponsible, and vice versa. it seems that our own side of the fence pays attention to "what really matters". except not really, both functions seek to achieve the same goal (love, harmony, security, etc) in the end. they just have different touchpoints.

    i am impressed by the ease at which Fe dom/aux know how to handle interpersonal situations, often. sometimes i get so wrapped up in how to take care of it perfectly and address each individual's needs and not hurt one or the other and not overstep boundaries and all that confusion... and an FJ just breezes in and handles things perfectly... it's like...

    Quote Originally Posted by MonkeyGrass
    One major difference I've noted is that while I admire ENFPs' passion for causes, they tend to be a little more oblivious of the needs of their families or more boring responsibilities than NFJs. They have a wicked strong personal sense of right from wrong, but can be a little oblivious of the needs of their closest loved ones, even while passionately discussing something they feel strongly about. IOW, boundless compassion in some areas, but seemingly oblivious to other's pain in other areas.
    yeah, we don't see the Fe needs as easily. the way we care for people is different. though to be honest, the emphasis you're putting on impersonal values here is odd. i mean, yes, i care about humanistic values, and extrapolate to a bigger picture, but i'm not that black-and-white in terms of right and wrong. INFPs are a little more solid ethically, though i would still assert that most NFPs see morality in terms of fine scales and subtle weightings, not simple Right and Wrong.

    the other thing is, sometimes i think that Fe doms will take care of things that i really don't need someone taking care of for me, but they're not there to support me when i need support. like, when i'm having a hard time emotionally, what i need is someone to sit with me and empathize and just be accepting. ime (experience with mom, several close friends), Fe doms really don't like doing this. they find it useless, superfluous. the other thing i notice with NFJs is that there's often a barrier of superiority when they're helping. there's a tangible feeling of "i am the helper, you are the helped", instead of a more equal "we are both hurt persons and it's my turn to help you now". which is not to say i don't love ENFJs. i have watched over and over again the ENFJs i know do incredibly selfless things. they'll devote themselves to mentoring someone, get up and out at 3 in the morning to help someone in distress, clear their schedule for the evening to make sure that someone's going to be all right. it's beautiful.

    and the way i care for people... i'll sit with them for hours and talk if that's what they need. make them presents, write them letters, help them figure out what to do next. i'll drive them across five states in the middle of the night, if that's what they need. i will do just about anything for someone i love. but it's especially when i'm passionately discussing something that i can't deal with others' needs... the problem is that Fi is attuned to inner emotions, and when my feelings are overwhelming, i can't pick up on others' very well. it's as if my internal radio were suddenly turned to loud screamo. it's awful, and i can't hear the sadness of your music because my own music is blaring. so if in an argument i seem very hurtful... it's because i'm hurting so much myself that i can't even deal with the other person right now. and often, in argument, the other person appears to be attacking me. it baffles me how my mother (ESFJ) or very close friend (ENFJ) sometimes think that i intend to hurt them when defending myself after they have accused me... i didn't chase them down and i'm defending myself... how does that even make sense... :confused:

    obviously, a growth area for me is to learn how to turn down the internal radio. it's hard, though, because Fi signals are amplified by Ne.

    anyway. for the record, i do regardless and am generally quite impressed by ENFJs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian
    Oh boy, here it goes... I hope this thread doesn't become another INFJ/ENFP spat.
    QFT, and seconded

    Secondly, let's face it, you're no ordinary ENFP - most of them are Sevens, not Eights. Enneagram can have a pretty good influence on how people of those types function. INFPs who are Twos or Sixes can look INFJ-ish; vice-versa for INFJ Nines. Same deal with ENFP Twos or 7w6s and ENFJ Eights.
    true, and true. whatever enneatype i am, i come off as Fe IRL, apparently. in the forums it's easier to see the difference. i think that's part of why i get along better in general IRL with FJs than with fellow NFPs.

  8. #18
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    Because all other evidence points to the contrary.

    Their actions don't match their words.
    jut saying...sometimes your interpretation is incorrect.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #19
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    All NFPs have low neuroticism and all NFJs have high? Yeah, I don't agree with that. At all.

    Also, I love NFJs. My lifelong bff, and my closest sister are both ENFJs (though I will agree my sister and I have Fe/Fi clashes at times, I think our Ne/Ni really bonds us) and I tend to admire some INFJs for their tact and self-restraint.

    This isn't to say I like all NFJs. I don't like all NFPs, either.

    Apparently to some people I can look NFJ (mostly to people who follow Keirsey?) at times...remember, your shadow as an ENFP is INFJ...

  10. #20
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    All NFPs have low neuroticism and all NFJs have high? Yeah, I don't agree with that. At all.

    Also, I love NFJs. My lifelong bff, and my closest sister are both ENFJs (though I will agree my sister and I have Fe/Fi clashes at times, I think our Ne/Ni really bonds us) and I tend to admire some INFJs for their tact and self-restraint.

    This isn't to say I like all NFJs. I don't like all NFPs, either.

    Apparently to some people I can look NFJ (mostly to people who follow Keirsey?) at times...remember, your shadow as an ENFP is INFJ...
    is it? then what are people talking about when they mention having an istj shadow during stress?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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