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  1. #41
    Member songofcalamity's Avatar
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    I don't show my vulnerability, and if I feel vulnerable, I will just put up a mask to conceal the emotion. I feel weird and scared when people sees my vulnerability. If I am angry, hurt, or depressed, I don't show them. I only show my positive emotions.

  2. #42
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    As a rule of thumb, the bigger the emotion the less likely I am to express it. Big emotions tend to turn me inwards, not outwards. Big emotions cause me to seek immediate solitude so I can analyze and digest what I'm feeling. People are unwelcome distractions at such times. It usually doesn't occur to me to talk about it until after I'm past it. At which point it doesn't bother me to talk about any of it, assuming I'm with people I trust and the subject comes up.

    My emotional reactions to many things aren't necessarily what might be expected. Big things can impact me very little, while 'trivial' things can move me profoundly. I guess that's the same with everyone, though.

  3. #43
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
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    I remember walking into work one Monday about a year ago. Upon being asked how my weekend went, I replied, "I came to terms with my own mortality." ... and actually meant it. So, I'm absurdly open about what's on my mind.

    As far as emotions are concerned, I'd like to hide all the bad ones (and I usually withdraw to private quarters)... but when I can't, whatever I'm feeling is written on my face, in my movements, and people can sense it (they say I give off vibes). This sucks... I really don't want to express it, but my body just won't comply!
    Last edited by phoenix13; 05-03-2008 at 10:32 AM. Reason: Had to add the emo face

  4. #44
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    I'm finding this thread so informative! When I first came on this site, knowing little about types, I was under the impression that any "Fs" would be the most "open." What a shocker!

    Even reading this... much just does not compute. I'm still wondering why the fear (I guess) of vulnerability. What is the reason for hiding? How is "vulnerability" experienced that makes it an issue?

  5. #45
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seanan View Post
    I'm finding this thread so informative! When I first came on this site, knowing little about types, I was under the impression that any "Fs" would be the most "open." What a shocker!

    Even reading this... much just does not compute. I'm still wondering why the fear (I guess) of vulnerability. What is the reason for hiding? How is "vulnerability" experienced that makes it an issue?
    I get the impression that Fe would be more interested in showing vulnerability than Fi... as in, Fe would see admitting weakness and vulnerability as a virtue that needs to be expressed to get along with other people. As in... in packs of wolves, submissiveness is a form of survival. Fe caters towards taking certain 'roles' in society, where admitting weaknesses would be seen as more of a virtue.

    Fi on the other hand has little to do with this and rather works with a system of personal values, which would make expressing vulnerability less desirable. So... don't confuse FJs with FPs, I guess. TJs would be more likely to be like this, not admitting vulnerability, than TPs.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  6. #46
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    I don't need to be emotionally understood and "tended to" on a deep level, and I only open up enough for that to effectively take place but once in a blue moon to a very special individual. My vulnerable emotions are, for a P, very serious and they were formed rather solidly.. that is what makes them deep, whereas my feelings for everyone else are still very meaningful, but they can come and go.. they are not solid and I would not be surprised if something happened that made me change them.. however.. were something to happen that forced me to change my feelings about a person that I cared very much for.. I would be quite disappointed and sad. What emotions I do have for people (deep or "shallow", which is not meant to be taken as superficial.. just not a very deep feeling) I prefer to show by being receptive of them, their feelings and ideas.. I am not very comfortable being expressive of my feelings, so I show them in that way. I do not hold back in that regard.
    does this resonate with most infps?

    preferring to keep deep emotions inside?
    sharing rarely and only with one extremely significant person?
    best characterizing the way you show your affections and feelings for others as being "receptive to their feelings and ideas?" (if you are being unreceptive, does that mean you dislike the other person? or perhaps that they are just encroaching?)

    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    I wish I wouldn't show any. I hate when people see me vulnerable. I wish I could hide all my emotions and be cold outside. I have always tried to hide my very strong Fi and develop the Te. That's why my Te is quite well develop but still it cannot overpower the Fi because it's impossible. I was born very emotional and I will die very emotional. *sigh*

    These days my good mood shows and my bad mood shows but I do not show really deep feelings like hurt or pain to other people because I'm afraid they would take advantage of it.
    i am so interested in this notion that exposing your feelings will allow others access to attack you. i feel as if the way that the values of Fi get violated, trampled on, impeded, attacked, raped, etc, that after all this Fi Fe talk i still do not really comprehend what that experience is like.

    for me i do not share my values freely bc they are not understand, but also bc any negative attitude or potentially violent response to me seeps into me immediately. i can not keep them out or at bay. the emotions and attitudes of others get under my skin very easily.

    i get that values are what you (all nfs) use to define yourself, therefore they are attacking your values but also your self-image, your identity. that you can't ever really let anyone know what you truly and deeply care about or they will be able to attack it not just with ideas and attitudes, but more generally an atmosphere of violence, negativity, bad intentions, etc.

    but your feelings are so much more firmly your own than mine are as an Fe. what is so threatening? that someone will take them away from your interior and humiliate them in a public way? prove you to be silly and wrong, etc? that throughout your life you are refining them, but that at some eventual maturity level you fully commit, keep the faith, and are more comfortable believing in them regardless of the social outcomes that result?

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Fi is one of the easiest functions for me to pick out. Fi feels like gravity to me, very heavy. Not bad heavy, just weighty. Like the difference between a sponge cake (Fe) and a pound cake (Fi). I find that although INFPs are mostly quiet and gentle, they aren't aware how much their emotions color the atmosphere they're in even though they're not emoting them.
    i agree fully. it's palpable. there's a weird charge like before an electrical storm hanging in the air.

    and Fe seems to detect the scent of Fi from miles away, but is it the same in reverse? i seem to get resentment at times for acting according to the mood i am picking up, when the infp just wants me to pretend like i don't notice...

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    INFP are aware of their emotning coloring the atmopshere because many people around them can't keep from making snide comments about it. My ESFJ mother was especially resentful of the Fi "heavy" feel, so no it is not shocking to me that other people find Fi oppressive or feel its presence. Not a thing I can do about though..
    Fe gets frustrated bc they feel it beaming off of you and want to address it, lighten it, manage the emotional colour of the room, etc. it weighs on us too. we want to help make it go away, or we feel as if we are failing by not being able to fix, change, CONTROL the situation. it seeps into us and sometimes we just start to hate it. it's like a dissonant chord that won't go away, keeps droning on, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    As a rule of thumb, the bigger the emotion the less likely I am to express it. Big emotions tend to turn me inwards, not outwards. Big emotions cause me to seek immediate solitude so I can analyze and digest what I'm feeling. People are unwelcome distractions at such times. It usually doesn't occur to me to talk about it until after I'm past it. At which point it doesn't bother me to talk about any of it, assuming I'm with people I trust and the subject comes up.
    how do you work thru it? what is the process like for you for coming to terms with big feelings? i know someone who i thought of immediately as i read this and my inability to better communicate/understand causes major and unwanted friction.

    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    I get the impression that Fe would be more interested in showing vulnerability than Fi... as in, Fe would see admitting weakness and vulnerability as a virtue that needs to be expressed to get along with other people. As in... in packs of wolves, submissiveness is a form of survival. Fe caters towards taking certain 'roles' in society, where admitting weaknesses would be seen as more of a virtue.

    Fi on the other hand has little to do with this and rather works with a system of personal values, which would make expressing vulnerability less desirable. So... don't confuse FJs with FPs, I guess. TJs would be more likely to be like this, not admitting vulnerability, than TPs.
    i don't really agree with why your description of the motivations of Fe. we show vulnerability bc it is a way of expressing feelings. it is partly the directive j talking here, but by doing so we open up a dialogue that we can manage in order to better understand those around us. we do this bc it helps us interact better, but also bc feeling and trust juices us just like it does all fs. there are numerous purposes. for infjs, we like to get into other people and see what's underneath. to see what people are really made up of. change the shape of our big picture, etc. it seems like enfjs like to tinker a little bit and put some oil in the gears to get people up and running again. sfj is less interesting to me, or maybe it's just that happy hour is calling.

  7. #47
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    Cool question.. I usually show my true self to people, because to me, I feel better when I'm transparent as a person when I know I'm living my life to the fullest by being true to who I am, even more so w/people I'm comfortable around.

    With my friends and family, I think they tend to hide their 'real' selves a lot, because they tend to choose to live a life of lies, instead?

    I don't know how fulfilling it is when we choose to find comfort in the lies than the truth. Even though truth hurts, it makes me feel a sense of relief when I can authentically *choose* to do what I feel is right from within.

    In terms of love? I tend to not show my vulnerability as much. When I love a guy, even my family, I kinda act tough on the outside, even though I give loving praise, I still don't show that mushy gushy side in me, because I feel like that's something I treasure and would like to keep from within.

    That's why I dislike saying "I love you" too much. It erks me whenever I say it. I'd rather show through my actions and intentions.

  8. #48
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    When I trust someone then I will be vulnerable. However there is something that I usually keep to myself feelings wise.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  9. #49
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    Hmm.. I tend to allow myself to be vulnerable a lot when I feel like there's less to risk. I feel like when I put myself out there, it makes me stronger. Then again, I'm also a bit contradicting at times, because if I really really like someone, I will try my best to conceal it. I guess we can call it shyness?

    Being vulnerable to someone whom we feel most towards, isn't something easy? I know- it's so dichotomous.

  10. #50
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    For INFP and ENFP and (ESFP and ISFP if there are any here):

    How much emotion and vulnerbility do you show others?


    Do you think you show your truest self outwards or is this somewhat hard for you to do? Is there a inner self that would greatly suprise others around you?

    Thank you in advance for your input.
    i'm totally changeable...so it depends. usually i think, yes i do...very genuinely concerned and open and expressive with people...but sometimes i can be a bit aloof...i don't know why.

    but yes...i show my true self...just not every bit of it at once...it depends on the circumstances...if that makes sense.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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