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  1. #31
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I don't think I have ever known another INFP offline that well! (and only one INFJ and one INTJ) I have certainly never gotten to know another INFP well enough to know they were INFP.
    I have four INFP friends that I met in college and my boss is an INFP. I've met three more INFPs in my film group and another one this week. Fi is one of the easiest functions for me to pick out. Fi feels like gravity to me, very heavy. Not bad heavy, just weighty. Like the difference between a sponge cake (Fe) and a pound cake (Fi). I find that although INFPs are mostly quiet and gentle, they aren't aware how much their emotions color the atmosphere they're in even though they're not emoting them. For example, my boss is pretty quiet and stays in her office mostly, but when we're in meetings she radiates and everyone knows when she wants to say something or dislikes something even though she hasn't said a word. In fact, we often stop meetings to ask if she wants to say something, which she usually says no to. The reason why I think I meet so many INFPs is because we're probably interested and attracted to the same types of activities.

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I know two ISFP, they have definate differences with me. There are similarities and they are fun but they are different.
    ...and a ISFP college roommate and two ISFP coworkers. Same heavy vibe I get from INFPs, but the insides are propelled by different stuff. INFPs and ISFPs are as similar as ENFJs and ESFJs. I'll let you decide how similar they are.

  2. #32
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I have four INFP friends that I met in college and my boss is an INFP. I've met three more INFPs in my film group and another one this week. Fi is one of the easiest functions for me to pick out. Fi feels like gravity to me, very heavy. Not bad heavy, just weighty. Like the difference between a sponge cake (Fe) and a pound cake (Fi). I find that although INFPs are mostly quiet and gentle, they aren't aware how much their emotions color the atmosphere they're in even though they're not emoting them. For example, my boss is pretty quiet and stays in her office mostly, but when we're in meetings she radiates and everyone knows when she wants to say something or dislikes something even though she hasn't said a word. In fact, we often stop meetings to ask if she wants to say something, which she usually says no to. The reason why I think I meet so many INFPs is because we're probably interested and attracted to the same types of activities.



    ...and a ISFP college roommate and two ISFP coworkers. Same heavy vibe I get from INFPs, but the insides are propelled by different stuff. INFPs and ISFPs are as similar as ENFJs and ESFJs. I'll let you decide how similar they are.

    There are real differences between ESFJ and ENFJ, in my experience at least.

    INFP are aware of their emotning coloring the atmopshere because many people around them can't keep from making snide comments about it. My ESFJ mother was especially resentful of the Fi "heavy" feel, so no it is not shocking to me that other people find Fi oppressive or feel its presence. Not a thing I can do about though...

    About your boss: Why do you think she *wants* to say something? If she wanted to, wouldn't she simply say it? This is something that really irritates me in particular, when people assume that if I am quiet, I am holding back with them on purpose. When people probe on it and won't take my word that I have nothing to say, it really gets tiresome!

  3. #33
    Senior Member Nameless's Avatar
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    I don't know if this is really related, but which type (or maybe there is more than one) is attracted to the "emo" trend?

  4. #34
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    There are real differences between ESFJ and ENFJ, in my experience at least.

    INFP are aware of their emotioning because people can't keep from making snide comments about it. My ESFJ mother was especially resentful of the Fi "heavy" feel, so no it is not shocking to me that other people find Fi oppressive.

    Why do you think she *wants* to say something? If she wanted to, wouldn't she simply say it?
    I sometimes find Fi perplexing, I won't deny that. I suppose IFPs sometimes find Fe oppressive as well so it's an even exchange. Just to make sure, I wasn't trying to make a snide comment about Fi just explaining how it seems to me.

    As far as my boss in concerned, she never really outright says how she feels about anything, but I get the feeling there's a lot of unvoiced emotion in her. Maybe she feels it's not safe to express how she really feels, but her emotions have a wattage that can still be felt no matter how faint they are.

    I'm not trying to derail your thread so I'll exit now. Unless you want me to continue.

  5. #35
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    That's true, I never thought about how ISFP and INFP can give off similar vibes. The ISFP I have known was a very authentic person and was not afraid or ashamed to go deep and reveal themselves. I think some people just have their emotions much closer to the surface and some have them deeper down and some have them well, compartmentalized or locked up somewhere for safe keeping or just to keep them out of the way.

    I guess I'm not getting quite the question, as I'm thinking of it more in terms of socializiation. How emotional are you? You can show emotions in so many ways though. Some sectors of society are more formal than others and it's considered gauche to show anger. TV hosts are generaly very even keeled and have that great distance that some people would say is affected or fake but I think is fitting the role perfectly. Like Chris Hansen on 'To Catch a Predator'. I don't know, even when tv presenters show emotion, it seems very contained or in role, definitely not vulnerable.

    I think people would say I am comfortable with my emotions as I'm pretty up front but maybe not because I know I can be pretty spastic. I show no vulnerability usually, or used to not. I wasn't even aware of this but that's what other people told me. I guess whatever they were reading they were reading as confidence or being tough. Even my old boss told me I seemed like I wasn't scared of anything or rather anyone -- this is before I got fired partly for the reason this was NOT true! HA HA HA.

    I'm pretty honest and somewhat assertive with my emotions in that I can say I don't like this or that or this makes me feel X. I think I'm too spoiled to go along with things I don't like. HA. I enjoy telling people how I feel. This doesn't make me feel vulnerable, it makes me feel empowered. People can only hurt you if you let them, and hiding things and being ashamed gives people great power over you.

    That's to an extent. It's an ongoing process and there's still a lot of work to do in that area. I notice that when I leave the house, most people are pretty guarded. In DC, people have the same standoffish, sour looks on their faces on the metro commute. I know, look at me bashing the capital.

    Very few people are open and let their emotions be right on the surface -- generally that's reserved for friends and people you trust. A few people who are more assertive and emotionally effusive EFJ? are probably less guarded and more natural in public settings but in general, people are on guard.

    Also, I think as a young woman, there is a degree of vulnerability that gets attached or expected or even forced onto us in different ways.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  6. #36
    Senior Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    I show my emotions pretty openly, except hurt.
    If I show I'm hurt, I think people will see me as vulnerable and take advantage of me or see me as weak.
    If Im hurt, I hibernate in a cave- either my room or somewhere else, till Im "normal" again and face that person.

  7. #37
    Senior Member WobblyStilettos's Avatar
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    I don't often show much emotion, I sometimes randomly burst into tears to the surprise of everyone around me because they had no idea anything was wrong (can be kinda embarassing ) but I usually only do that around people I know/trust. If I'm feeling low and someone I care about asks me how I am I normally lie because I don't want to upset or worry them

    Does stress count as an emotion? I think that's the one I show most
    Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

  8. #38
    Senior Member persianeyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    For INFP and ENFP and (ESFP and ISFP if there are any here):

    How much emotion and vulnerbility do you show others?


    Do you think you show your truest self outwards or is this somewhat hard for you to do? Is there a inner self that would greatly suprise others around you?

    Thank you in advance for your input.
    I show little/none emotion and vulnerbility, maybe only when I have to... but i do think I'm improving with expressing my emotion time to time, I don't know why I'm uncomfortable with it, even if I am very emotional.

    I only show my true self to the closest person to me and feel comfortable and relieved when I do.

    An inner self, yea it would surprise many people, mostly my parents who take me as cold and impersonal would be surprised..
    The truth is on the side of the oppressed. -Malcolm X

  9. #39
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    I am emotionally expressive, I reek and leak of emotions, I can't help it.

    There is however one emotion I try to suppress/conceal, that emotion being vulnerability. The one thing I can't stand more than feeling vulnerable itself, is accidentally revealing/exposing to someone else the fact that I am feeling vulnerable.

    Wow, I'm totally effed in the head.

    Honestly, it makes no sense that I would care so much about this considering, that as far as people go, I am a relatively shameless exhibitionist.

    Come to think of it, I don't even know if I have the capacity to feel vulnerable anymore...
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

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  10. #40
    Senior Member Leysing's Avatar
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    I show very, very little deep emotion and absolutely no vulnerability to others. Actually my deep emotions are the most vulnerable part in me. I consider myself quite strong in other parts.

    (Secretly I dream about someone who I could trust so much that I could show the person even my deepest emotions... But I haven't found one Well, I'm still young )

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