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  1. #1
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Default The "Normal" ENFP

    The title is a joke. Enfp's are not normal, and sometimes it's difficult to even remotely understand what behaviors are typical in ENFP-land. Yet still, i find this title appropriate, so please don't rag on me =P

    I'm creating this thread because as an ENFP, being new to MBTI.. there are soo many questions I have about ENFP behavior. Whats typical. I could spin out 10 threads a day with different ENFP questions and scenarios.. and think that would be a bit unfair and annoying. I know alot of the questions I have has already been brought up somewhere, but I admint.. I SUCK at digging deeply through past threads. Its just soo much info so sift through to get to whatever jewel I am seeking.

    THIS is not an attempt to box me in like I've wanted in the past, (though if i come out showing more INFP or ENTP AND you really know your shit.. please tell me.. I hate wasting time being mistyped.)

    I need other people with similar functions to help me better understand myself, some of the problems i manage to continually find, and how they personally have worked through these things. This is an 'Ask an ENFP a question' thread.. but I'm not the the all-jungian-knowing ENFP that's going to answer. =)

    I would really like to reserve this thread specifically to ENFP's.. and INFP's. I realize other types can have some amazing insight on the workings of human mind and behavior.. but I am not looking for text book theories.. I am looking for functions and traits, preferences that have played out In Real Life for the NFP.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  2. #2
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Default

    okay cool where do we start. i'm bored and have had too much coffee so lets sit n talk about ourselves....actually i've been told i'm very enfp by people on here but i actually do think i'm the more normal sort...not that i think that's cool...i very much enjoy other enfps hilarious insanity...but truthfully i'm not sure how much that way i personally am...unless you have odd standards of normal...i guess...but everyone is a bit off in some way really so what is normal anyway?? but...so...you think you may be infp? and you're not sure? are you trying to figure that out here? or just wanna talk about how the enfp mind works..or what?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #3
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Default

    I think the "crazy" aspect of Ne is a bit overstated. Ne is more about building holistic viewpoints and juxtaposition than anything. Someone started a thread on Ne music the other day, and I thought it best to present normal and funnier sides to it. It can come in the form of stringing random ideas in an overt, kind of comical way, but Fi gives people an anchor point too. Many have a lot of depth or gravity in their concerns. Some can come off as simply versatile, or kind of universalistic (Lauryn Hill comes to mind as an XNFP. She's far from, say, Peter Griffin. Heh. Who I think is ENTP anyways).

  4. #4
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Current dilema

    I've heard people talk about the Ne-Te loop, and I've heard people ask if ENFP's can get caught in the INFp's Fi-Si loop. I've read through these threads, but sometimes it is really hard to follow them. Soo many people with different opinions, taking off in different directions, discounting ones ideas and offering up others.. that its extremely difficult for me to pinpoint the more likely "truth." I just don't understand enough about functions to do this.

    I need to know if I'm in some kind of 'loop.'

    Problem. I think my Ne can drag me too far at times. I will agree to do things, sometimes really life impacting things.. without really analyzing how it will play out, affect me, and how I will FEEL about it. Usually these decisions are small, so if they backfire i get hit with the consequences pretty quick and try to remember why it didn't work. But I have made decisions that just recently I've realized DO NOT MATCH UP WITH MY LIFE VALUES. I have made decisions that are not congruent with who I am as a person, who I want to be, and where I want my life to go. I've been thinking about these things for a long time now. How to change them. And as soon as I recognize a problem, I can quicly come up with the solution. I plan a course of action to change the lifestyle I've created, but then I lose momentum on MAKING IT HAPPEN. I get lost in the day to day living, and prefer to take the easier route of not dealing with the long term problems and distracting myself for pleasure of the moment. I will push this 'not being who i am' problem down.. until it rizes its ugly head again. When it does, i start thinking again about all the shit that needs to be different.. and I think to myself.. you must do something NOW. you can not waste another minute. Life is short and your not doing what you should be. If you have to do something DRASTIC.. like quit your job NOW, move, end a relationship, etc.. just do it. RIght NOW!. Before you lose yourself again and waste even more time. I really think a high Ne and low Fi in the last 5 yrs had something to do with this. I was just a young dumb, go with the flow 20 something. I was never quite sure what I wanted out of life.. things like .. do you want kids? I wasn't sure. Where do you wan't to live? I like to move alot. What career to you want? One thing today, different tomorrow. What qualities must you have in a partner: I knew a few things but was almost TOO openminded.

    At about 28 though, this HUGE shift took place. Up until that point, I always felt like I worked ass backwards. I could never tell you what I wanted.. i could never KNOW what I wanted, until i tried it. My process of finding myself was more trial and error than any strategy. It had to be experienced before I could know it wasn't me. Do you see how frusterating this could be? If you had to spend your whole life trying everything your not to finally figure out what you are? Do you NFP's ever feel this way?

    But alas, after 28 I started to really figure some shit out. Got a lot stronger sense of who I am, what I want, whats important. This is just one tip on the big ole iceburg but..I want kids. Problem: i've invested almost 5 years with a kid hating ISTp. There is no meeting on this. I've already decided that to be happy I need the child experience, and a partner that will value the child and family unit over career and self interests. Unfortunately, this is not my ITSP and never will be. But getting out of the relation? OMG its soo fucken hard!
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  5. #5
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Default

    ^^^

    That was suppose to be alot more point organized.. but after I got going this mini rant fell out, sorry!
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  6. #6
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I think the "crazy" aspect of Ne is a bit overstated. Ne is more about building holistic viewpoints and juxtaposition than anything. Someone started a thread on Ne music the other day, and I thought it best to present normal and funnier sides to it. It can come in the form of stringing random ideas in an overt, kind of comical way, but Fi gives people an anchor point too. Many have a lot of depth or gravity in their concerns. Some can come off as simply versatile, or kind of universalistic (Lauryn Hill comes to mind as an XNFP. She's far from, say, Peter Griffin. Heh. Who I think is ENTP anyways).
    Btw Kdude, I saw that thread and thought it was an AWESOME idea. I'm surprised it hasn't been hit up more. Good choice on your tunes.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  7. #7
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    I find it interesting that this is the second ENFP-related thread today that's both outside the private forum and seeks to be exclusive. Is that normal?

    No judgment; just an observation

  8. #8
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    One other thing I wanted to hit on... NFP's and ADDICTIONS<--- that last word was said in a dark, serious voice =P

    I quit smoking cold turkey 10 days ago, after smoking for 10 yrs.
    I never really thought i could do it.. like deep down inside.. because I know myself.. and I know I have a low tolerance for any kind of discomfort or pain, and i equate quitting smokig with discomfort, you know.. self discipline in any form lol.

    But i quit.. and i was AMAZED at how easy it was... (for the first 7 days)
    Everyone claims that the first 3 days is the hardest, and after that its purely psychological. I find it getting harder and harder as each day passes. You wanna know why? Because I quit smoking and was high on the idea of it. The idea that I could overcome this, the idea that i would save money and smell good and well.. hopefully not rott from the inside out with cancer. But as the IDEA wears off, the newness, the sparkley, as I am left with the cold boring day to day reality of not smoking.. it's getting HARDER!!!! Any ideas?
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  9. #9
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    I find it interesting that this is the second ENFP-related thread today that's both outside the private forum and seeks to be exclusive. Is that normal?

    No judgment; just an observation
    Ya, I didn't even really think about that... I'm new to forums. Is there a way for me to move this without losing whats been written?
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  10. #10
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I think it takes a long time for NFPs to find their niche.. as for jumping around, I do it as well, but in a critical way (and self-critical). I don't move on to the new thing, but basically get a little idealistic for my own good, and disappointed with many options. So I don't jump around so much as turn away things, from a distance.

    I don't have any addictions except smoking (which is a big one).. I don't know what to say about it. I don't commit to any methods long enough to make it work. I think the desire has to come from within, but I'm too distracted to really commit to the idea yet. Piss poor excuse probably.

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