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Thread: INFP/INFJ...differences... :/

  1. #21
    Senior Member Array Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Dec 2008
    468 sx/sp


    I just had a breakup with an INFJ friend that started out by her saying I was cryptic. I am so straightforward it pains me, in my mind. She strains to read things into absolutely plain English. I told her to go on to lunch without me and didn't give a reason (also mentioned I was pressed for time) and she had to have a reason, then told me I was cryptic. I said what part of "go without me" confuses you?! She wanted to know what I meant by it. Um ... I meant that she should go without me. I said what difference does it make why? and you're entirely ignoring the fact I was emailing you from home while being late to work, hadn't even left yet, didn't really have time to sit around typing, she writes back well if you had said THIS, I would have said THAT, and if you had said SUCH then I would have said SO, I think she gave about five examples of what "go without me" could "mean." So the problem was not that I wasn't going to be able to make lunch, the problem was that she couldn't figure out a way to be in charge of the decision, because all I told her was to go without me. Not go without me because I don't want to make you late (in which case she would have said don't worry, I don't mind) or go without me because blah blah blah. If that's how all of us INFJs are, I don't know how we live past the age of 30 without somebody choking us to death. "Go without me" is cryptic, omg. I will devise you a decoder ring my dear, but I need total absence from human contact (that means you) for at least a decade in which to fashion it, so go away ... ugh

  2. #22
    morose bourgeoisie Array
    Join Date
    Mar 2009


    I dunno. I don't analyse people based on type. I prefer to focus on what is held in common reagarding interests, viewpoints.
    My bro-in-law is INFJ, and we get along really well. Better than I get along with my sister in fact. He always seems to get what I'm saying, and can expand on it easily, and I do the same with his insights. he's one of a very few people I can talk to for hours and not notice that time has passed. he's a professinal musician, and we can talk about that endlessly; about specific pieces or performances, about the stylist influence of Bill Evans, about why classical music is moribund, about technique, about approach to teaching, about composition...

    So for me, the differences aren't that big at all. If people are similar in other ways, 'type' is not a limiting factor.

  3. #23
    Banned Array
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    Nov 2009


    I feel one the main differences and similarities between the two, is how complex and unique individuals of each type truly believe they are.
    INFJs have a tendency to not enjoy when other people have them figured out and can react punitively. INFPs seem more likely to enjoy it, and can reward people who see past their bullshit. (Both can do both, it's just a tendency)
    Both love when someone sees their hidden intelligences and emotional capacities and supports their ideas.
    But... both insist on being misunderstood as being part of their identities.
    INFPs are a little bit better in general, at trying to bridge the gap to understanding others when they feel misunderstood themselves.
    INFJs get all fucking weird at this point and I have seen so many different types of reactions to this, it's astounding.
    INFPs seem more willing to admit flaws and mistakes to others. But have trouble accepting it in themselves.
    INFJs seem more willing to admit flaws to themselves , but not to others., especially those calling them out on their flaws.
    INFPs tend to act, and then back it up with talk.
    INFJs tend to talk before they know if they can back it up with actual action.

    Just some stuff I have observed. No offense meant to anyone. It's based on my own personal interactions and myself.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Array Hinastarr's Avatar
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    Mar 2011


    To be honest, I have felt nowadays as though INFJs tend to first need to brainstorm a certain inference to then be able to test via their interactions and connections with other beings, whereas the INFP first needs to attain an intrapersonal understanding of self and the way in which they tick prior towards their then finding patterns to go along with what they've discovered of themselves through our auxilary Ne.

    I likewise see something seeming more grounded where it concerns INFJs as well, as I tend to think of them more so as a sort of "spiritual seekers" whom long to test the hypothesis' they disclose within their minds through the way in which they relate to others in a way that seems similar towards their being "social scientists" in a sense, whereas INFPs more so need to first feel a value or belief with the depths of their primarily, or else otherwise they feel as though their cause is lacking in its purpose with their solely doing their tasks half-heartedly.

    In other words, meanwhile INFJ tends to relate through their testing of their single inference through the way in which they connect towards a group of people with their seeking of what they feel they are missing externally, INFP withdraws inwardly in order to find purpose within their lives through anallysis of their own heart and motives to then by their knowledge of self be able to discern multiple possibilities on the route they should take in order to achieve the fulfillment and emotional intensity they yearn for through study of patterns and constant "what ifs?", to discover what's underlying within our world.

    INFJ-"Aha! I've got it! And so if each of us would just learn to cooperate with one another just a bit better in some way, then maybe the people within our class wouldn't seem so aloof and apathetic all the time, since then, we each would feel interconnected towards one another with a newfound feeling of warmth amongst both ourselves and eventually Teacher as well. And so then, I probably should organize a fun sort of study date within my house in which we all will try to be more ourselves around each other and reveal our true selves from within more deeply to then discuss this issue with the teacher, and before we know it, there then will be a newfound warmth within Mr. Bellamont's classroom then, and we all can learn to have each other's as well as his own back from there onward, and Mr. Bellamont also will then feel so happy with this new found comradeship among us each a classroom, he then will rethink his wanting to quit his teaching position, and we each can be at peace once more! At least, I hope... I shall start organizing the study date tonight and invite everyone to it tomorrow morning ."

    INFP- "Come to think of it, it seems nearly as though I'm placing way to much concern over on what other's think of me, somuch as that I haven't even reflected much to myself lately... The thing is, how do I truly feel about the issue concerning our class' treatement of Mr. Bellamont? How do I feel about him as a teacher as a whole? I truly have wanted to seem kinder and more welcoming towards him as a student, yet I am so shy still, and so I haven't been able to truly express towards him how I feel... Should I feel even the slightest bit angered at how hard everyone has been towards him nowadays even with his clumsiness, or do I feel a bit of irritation towards him foracting in such a way myself? But then again, he only did start teaching us each a few months or so back not to long ago, and we practically appear the first even class of students he's ever taught, and so, I feel most of the others have purely just been downright mean towards him in their actions, and I feel we should be better students towards him. But how do I really feel about this as a whole? I want to be accepted by the rest, and yet this still doesn't feel right to me in the slightest bit. That's it. I need to follow my heart no matter what, or else this will just go onward. I wonder what I could do to show him how appreciated he truly is, by me at the very least anyhow. Should I create a card expressing how I truly feel about having him as my teacher this year to have everyone else sign and comment on on their behalf as well, or would that still seem too halfhearted on the other's part, and how would they react to my even doing this to begin with? I know how ill they think of him... *yawns* Oh well. I guess that perhaps I'll have come up with the right decision come tomorrow morning, and it's getting kind of late. Maybe I should just take a rest for now..."

    (By the way, yes I realize INFPs are not all shy persons, either, and rather just included that bit for my random example of one in their thinking process...)

    Another odd and quite random discovery I just disclosed from having written this post is the fact that while INFJs appear more so social scientists as I stated above previously through their testing their inferences through interactions with other peoples, INTJs likely are mor so the concrete sort of classic seeming scientists whom come towards conclusion of their hypothesis through systematic structuring and logical classification...

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