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  1. #31
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Trust me, Fe wouldn't work on them
    Its foreign to them, ime. But I do dose the amount of ....Fi? I toss at their heads, as i know it spooks them
    I either go for a shock effect where I dial up the intensity but keep it short, or I ease up on it and do the warm sustained bonding thing.
    The first is enough to make them usually go 'wtf was that!?' but without making them run for the hills or go into attack-mode but rather seems to trigger curiosity, while the second seems to convince them (when sustained long enough) that I am in fact unarmed and come in peace

    (I feel so weird describing this shit)
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  2. #32
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Not going to dispute that...at all, Satine!

    It's interesting to see your perspective and even though we're teasing each other, there's underlying truth to our discussion.

    When it comes to the F dichotomy, an F-dom or aux can run rings around aux and tert F users. In someone like yourself Satine, it comes across as well-meaning and is tempered and noncoercive. From some other ENFPs, it can come across as controlling, manipulative and inauthentic. Luckily, my friends come across similar to yourself, Satine.

  3. #33
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    That's funny because Satine comes across to me as more manipulative and inauthentic to me than any other NFP on this forum.

    It feels fake and contrived to me, like someone scratching nails down a chalk board.

  4. #34
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    That's coz you're responding to my reigning it in. In that perspective, yes, it is not genuine, I guess. But I do that coz I don't wanna harass people with that kind of intensity. I show them a piece, if htey're interested, they can always get more

    However, I am very much genuine in what I'm saying and what I believe in though.

    As Jena says, I've found that running circles around them makes them feel less threathened than going straight into their personal space bubble. And I'm al for respecting that, though it does require me to filter myself. I don't like doing that, but i can see the use of it.
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    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  5. #35
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    No offense, I mean I like you and everything, I like talking to you, I don't mean to be mean or anything...it's just that the way you act with NTs to me would make me feel like I was kissing their asses, even when they're acting like total pains.

    I just can't do it. Maybe difference in Fi values.

    I can only do that with someone I really love, like a partner or something.

  6. #36
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Hehe, none taken. One of my values is that people deserve to set their own boundaries and rules and get to be who they are. Since I wanna communicate with them, I adjust to that. If I were to have a full on discussion with you, you'd find that I wouldn't hold back..at all, emo-wise. It's just that I adjust my communication style depending on who's in front of me. With you I'll be more emotionally upfront, but way less direct. With NTJs I can afford to be incredibly direct, while I know I have to dial down the emo-intensity, or we'll have a misunderstanding on our hands that has no use to anyone. In both cases I'm perfectly honest, I just choose the medium which translates my message best. Maybe it's an occupational hazard as a professional translator

    I prefer your style myself, but I find it impractical with non-nfps.
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  7. #37
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Yes, absolutely they do dish it out but can't take it, and I have matched their intensity and been called dramatic or been avoided.

    I've also tried dancing around them, which isn't my style.
    I think the dancing around bit is Ne. It seems like Fe at times, I guess, since both promote a sense of harmony in their own way. Sometimes the cost is too high to dance though, I know what you mean. I don't know why, but it seems like IFPs dance more than EFPs (lack of Te perhaps). I grew up like you myself (heavy SJ environment), which was a bit like bootcamp. I know how to stop dancing.. but I'm a little weird when I do it. I don't take any pride in it. I know what I have to do to counteract judgement from the outside, but rather than be harsh.. it's more like.. fists of love. If I have to get at someone's throat, it's still with a desperate, pleading looking on my face. And if I can find a reason to dance again, I will.

    Whatever. Conflict sucks. Also, I have no idea if I'm being relevant to the thread now.

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I think the dancing around bit is Ne. It seems like Fe at times, I guess, since both promote a sense of harmony in their own way. Sometimes the cost is too high to dance though, I know what you mean. I don't know why, but it seems like IFPs dance more than EFPs (lack of Te perhaps). I grew up like you myself (heavy SJ environment), which was a bit like bootcamp. I know how to stop dancing.. but I'm a little weird when I do it. I don't take any pride in it. I know what I have to do to counteract judgement from the outside, but rather than be harsh.. it's more like.. fists of love. If I have to get at someone's throat, it's still with a desperate, pleading looking on my face. And if I can find a reason to dance again, I will.

    Whatever. Conflict sucks. Also, I have no idea if I'm being relevant to the thread now.
    Well, IRL I can get along with people pretty easily because in truth I'm outwardly very flexible and can adjust, and a lot of times I'd rather just avoid drama.

    But if I think someone is acting like a total self-congratulatory twat, and they're an adult, I'm not going to baby them like they're 5. It very well may be my SJ upbringing, it very well may be tertiary temptation of Te.

    It may be why in some regards I can deal with SJs better than NTJs, I've actually begun to notice this with some of them, because they appear to expect submission and agreement, and I've seen a lot of stuff where the men want women to be demure or something, it frankly makes me want to puke.

    I also *enjoy* debate, so there's a difference too.

    I can be very submissive and agreeable with someone I love or am close to though, like a boyfriend or close friends.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    That's coz you're responding to my reigning it in. In that perspective, yes, it is not genuine, I guess. But I do that coz I don't wanna harass people with that kind of intensity. I show them a piece, if htey're interested, they can always get more

    However, I am very much genuine in what I'm saying and what I believe in though.

    As Jena says, I've found that running circles around them makes them feel less threathened than going straight into their personal space bubble. And I'm al for respecting that, though it does require me to filter myself. I don't like doing that, but i can see the use of it.
    I guess the difference is that you care, and I don't. When someone starts acting a certain way, and if it's not worth my investment of myself, and really, I just don't care. It may be because I have so stacking last.

  10. #40
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    ^ (to the general turn of the conversation) I suppose we all go about it in slightly different ways, but I think everyone learns to adjust their communication/presentation depending on the audience, as they grow older. We learn that we can present things in certain ways with certain people, that it's better to approach differently with others... Satine's recent post doesn't seem that foreign to me, in other words, and yeah, Fe does rather the same thing. Adjusting depending on who you're talking to.

    Although.. I do sense she goes about things very differently than I do.
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