An E/INFP's love is hard to obtain. They may seem friendly and warm (or maybe even distanced, but friendly) in the beginning, but that is no different to how they treat everyone else.
I generally am told I seem aloof & even unfriendly, but sometimes one-on-one with people I manage to seem interested in them personally in a way which makes them feel there is more there than there is. I am interested in them as a human, not as a romantic potential. This confusion is actually uncommon though. In general, I am more likely to seem distant and closed, even though I feel friendly & open.
The truth is, is that they quickly build a wall, in which you have to strategically, and slowly, knock down. The more you make this wall crumble, the more they will trust you, and the more they will open up.. But this takes time.
I have been told numerous times by friends & guys I've dated that I have a wall up. They can't tell if I like them or how I feel about anything. Once you get to know me, I will no longer seem so aloof though, so that people don't realize a wall is up for awhile, until like a year later when it dawns on them I am still intensely private about myself.
They will be slow to 'get personal', especially with details that they wouldn't necessarily share with anyone else. They will want to be close, but feel very unsure, wary of future hurt, or fallouts.
I'm good at throwing out tidbits to get others to open up, but then later they realize they actually know far less about me than I know about them. I've only had this role reversed with ENFJs, and I find it terribly disconcerting because I am not used to being the one who has revealed more. In any case, I open up slowly, and any personal info revealed is often surface.
Almost everything I've read about Fi-dom says they are hard to get to know, and I don't see myself as an exception. I think some people think they know you because they don't even fathom what is going on in your head. They accept the simple surface & feel they got to know you quickly. Not to be all pretentious, acting like NFPs are so "deep", but I think the level of feeling that exists is lot more intense than others can even imagine, and we ask the same in return, and will stay guarded until we get a glimpse of it. I've found myself feeling very alienated & disconnected from others in periods of my life because of this.
Conversely, I think it may hurt others to know that our interactions & exchanges sometimes mean little to me, whereas to them, they have significance & indicate some kind of "knowing" of the other. They appear satisfied with these exchanges, but I am left a bit empty.
As time progresses, the more you share with them, and the more they feel safe with sharing with you, the closer they will become and feel.
Yes, I need to test the water a bit, and for them to indicate they want to test my water. It's often not a linear process, but a darting back & forth as you acclimate yourself.
It's also important to remember that dry facts about my life & relating stories often mean little to me. I can relate this somewhat easily. Dreams, feelings, hopes, fears, ideas...these are much more significant to me & guarded more carefully.
I can easily tell you my parents divorced when I was two and it affected me, but it's like reading a fact sheet. I don't consider that "opening up".
Eventually their wall will be gone, and their wariness is eased. They'll be comfortable with you, they will feel confident in confiding in you. They will want to be close to you. They will want to care for you. They will feel warmth when they are with you.
Yes, I'm something like an onion.
Soon, they can love you, if they don't already do.
I greatly distinguish between infatuation, emotional attachment, and love. None of these happen readily for me though. Infatuation with ideas of people is what I am most prone to, but that wears off easily through just a little interaction with their actual person.
Great post! Do you think that last part "I would most probably defend/support them till my last breath." is perhaps due to at-least in the case of type 4's, with a [healthy] connection to 1? defending a cause, like an amplification of their love?.
) if the odds are not in their favour. So far I can see myself doing that only for 3 friends, excluding my parents and sibling for whom I would readily do the same thing. 
I mean, I wasn't turning off anyone.. I still keep their attention, but I've seen ESP guys and they're way better at getting people to have fun. I'm pretty sure my side of things is different than ENFPs though.
)
