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  1. #31
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    I'm an ENFP 7. Agree with everything in the OP. In general I either become grossly infatuated with someone or I have trouble remembering that you exist.

  2. #32
    Senior Member Jessica's Avatar
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    My INFP's natural defenses fell very fast.

    Then, she was very un-INFP in that it was her chasing me.
    I have a (new) blog here.

    You should do these: JohariNohari

  3. #33
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    Well, if there's organic chemistry and I am able to be myself around the person, I can fall pretty hard and pretty fast. But this only happens with certain types of people. It doesn't happen with everyone. With some people, it takes a very long time. When I feel that I can express myself in any crazy way, if I can talk about my interests and confide in that person, if I'm impressed by him, if we connect, then yes I fall quite fast. But this doesn't happen often. And even if I am head over heels, I am still super cautious and super wary so the wall never quite comes down. I just let myself peek outside, a lot. This doesn't mean I am never thinking of possible negative scenarios or that I would put all my hopes and dreams into that person. And this doesn't mean I would never debate whether I should continue the relationship or bounce. My mind is full of thoughts like these, bouncing back and forth, debating all the possibilities. The wall never fully comes down, but it does soften enough for me to reach out and potentially get very hurt in the process. And I am prone to fast, intense processes whereas the ISTJ and ESFJ I know would take a very, very long time and once they are committed, they are committed for a very, very long time. But I would still be open, somewhat, to other options because my brain cannot stop generating options.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    i definitely agree with what huxley has said... its funny how people think theyre "in" sometimes, when really ive still got walls and walls...

    then there are others who pierce right through to the soul.
    ah, this .

    Some people will remain lost in my Ne shrubbery maze forever. And then there are others that I pretty much teleport straight into the Fi castle.

    "White wine or red?" "Can I plump that pillow for you?" "I just baked cookies!"

    Although, I usually hide this fact for a long time so they don't suspect. Fi is a ninja!

  5. #35
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    ^

    Quote Originally Posted by ohd1122 View Post
    I'm an ENFP 7. Agree with everything in the OP. In general I either become grossly infatuated with someone or I have trouble remembering that you exist.
    yeahh i have a dash of that too. (i'm 6w7, so i guess that makes sense )

    though i was "won over" recently... i didn't think i liked the person but they kept pushing and pushing, and eventually did something that made me genuinely break into a huge grin, and then i started seeing them in a different light... it's weird... i still feel a tug-of-war inside... now i can't get them out of my head but it's not really the usual ENFP ON THE PROWL calculated obsession, either... the whole thing feels so experimental... usually i am the one chasing others down!

  6. #36
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotpinkHeatwave View Post
    Does any E/INFP agree with this?

    Do you have anything to add, or object to?

    I found this rather interesting, and personally, I agree. How about you?

    Please share.
    I agree, it paints me to a 'T'. It's also true that ENFPs can fall very quickly for people - but here's the thing, because we're so used to holding on tight and keeping those walls up, when we get a fancy for someone it's like - momentarily - all the normal defenses are gone. It's all or nothing. It's a drought or a torrential thunderstorm. Also, we will vacillate between being wide open and letting emotions pour at randomly throwing up walls. The walls will continually keep coming back up, or vestiges will remain like a bad habit. So it can be confusing for a suitor. Its like, "Damn, I thought you really liked me but you're being evasive again".

    I've certainly iced out people who were trying to 'get in' so to speak and sent them packing. And also overwhelmed people by my desire to crawl inside them and make a nest in their chest. But, with these people I was never completely open or completely closed. But those are the two extreme desires/instincts at play.

    Finally, I think what Antimony and others have mentioned about 'walls coming down fast' - it's not that the walls came down it's that ENFPs can get very enthusiastic about people. Honestly, if an ENFP drops a lot of their walls for someone very fast, that person should be flattered. It doesn't happen often.

    I can be very enthusiastic and occupied by someone but that doesn't mean my walls are gone. Enthusiasm actually has little to do with walls, even with people I really like I can be very cautious. You might not notice it though because I can seem to self-reveal a lot and share.

    I think your instinctual variant makes a big impact here. I'm a SO dominant, so it's easy for me to be pleasant socially and say and do the right things that are expected of people on dates/courting/etc. But, people who have wanted more from me have gotten discouraged.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  7. #37
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    though i was "won over" recently... i didn't think i liked the person but they kept pushing and pushing, and eventually did something that made me genuinely break into a huge grin, and then i started seeing them in a different light... it's weird... i still feel a tug-of-war inside... now i can't get them out of my head but it's not really the usual ENFP ON THE PROWL calculated obsession, either... the whole thing feels so experimental... usually i am the one chasing others down!
    LOL, someone is trying to wear me down as we speak. Isn't it the oddest feeling when you are a 7ish ENFP? Because yes! I certainly am usually the one to initiate, I prefer it because 100% of the time you will end up with someone you fancy.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  8. #38
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    LOL, someone is trying to wear me down as we speak. Isn't it the oddest feeling when you are a 7ish ENFP? Because yes! I certainly am usually the one to initiate, I prefer it because 100% of the time you will end up with someone you fancy.
    me too

    i just don't know what to think. i like his mind but he's awkward at times. too overblown. but maybe i'm giving him too hard a time, because i really do enjoy spending time with him... ugh. too hard! i definitely prefer to be the hunter!! for now i'm playing along because i enjoy his company. but eh. i just dont know.

    @CzeCze i think your point about variants is interesting, and true. i identify as sx, and i definitely get close fast. i kind of have a sense of social appropriateness, but usually my one-on-one assessment overrides that. and also my disregard... i'm that girl who sits cross-legged on the bench at the restaurant on our first date... lol...

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    me too

    i just don't know what to think. i like his mind but he's awkward at times. too overblown. but maybe i'm giving him too hard a time, because i really do enjoy spending time with him... ugh. too hard! i definitely prefer to be the hunter!! for now i'm playing along because i enjoy his company. but eh. i just dont know.

    @CzeCze i think your point about variants is interesting, and true. i identify as sx, and i definitely get close fast. i kind of have a sense of social appropriateness, but usually my one-on-one assessment overrides that. and also my disregard... i'm that girl who sits cross-legged on the bench at the restaurant on our first date... lol...
    Give the guy a chance . If everything happened in our lives the Way We Want It To Be Damnit, then we would miss out on a lot of surprises and loveliness just tiptoeing around the corner waiting to pounce on us and make us giggle.


  10. #40
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Give the guy a chance . If everything happened in our lives the Way We Want It To Be Damnit, then we would miss out on a lot of surprises and loveliness just tiptoeing around the corner waiting to pounce on us and make us giggle.

    ha! love it <3
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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