[NF] An E/INFP's love.

[Santosha]

I'm an ENFP 7. Agree with everything in the OP. In general I either become grossly infatuated with someone or I have trouble remembering that you exist.

Relate to this more than I care to admit.

Are you sx on your 7 by chance?

 

[skylights]

Give the guy a chance . If everything happened in our lives the Way We Want It To Be Damnit, then we would miss out on a lot of surprises and loveliness just tiptoeing around the corner waiting to pounce on us and make us giggle.

ha! love it <3

aw thanks saturned i'm going to give it a shot! worst come to worst i bow out... but what the hell... funny that for such a "free" type i am so inhibited by my own thoughts! i think this is part of what it means to be a 6. lots of future negative thinking. in my mind it's not negative, though, just cautionary. realistic. idealistic.

well. here's to letting go?

I'm walking down Broadway
Each foot step is a new love letter
I'm trying to make eye contact
With each and every stranger that I pass
Thinking about the city
It's living proof people need to be together
I'm thinking about how I just want to open up
And give and give and give
And it's okay for you to care
Cause I can feel you in the air
And while you wonder "how's this gonna end?"
I only want it to begin

I'm thinking about desire
I've had to learn how to sin successfully
I'm thinking about bliss
And bliss is all dressed up
And there's no one to dance with
Remembering her smile and the nuclear bomb
And the reasons I loved her
Walking through Central Park
I'm in a foreign country and I'm waiting for a sign
That it's ok for you to care
Cause I'm not going anywhere
And while you wonder if you should let me in
I only want it to begin

I'm still singing
Twisting new melodies, breaking arrangements
Thinking about my heart
I guess you've heard, sometimes it's heavy
But I just keep moving
When I hit a wall, I look up at the sky
I'm thinking about my maker
In spite of all this I know she won't give up on me
And its okay for you to care
Cause I can taste you everywhere
While it's true
All straight things must bend
I only want it to begin

 

[Engineer]

i think this is part of what it means to be a 6. lots of future negative thinking. in my mind it's not negative, though, just cautionary. realistic. idealistic. well. here's to letting go?

Oh lawds yes. I feel you on the 6-front, sister. I need to let go more often, it actually leads to more better experiences for myself than I'd predict. So sure! Take a shot at it, and I'm betting you'll at least learn something out of the deal.

 

[skylights]

Oh lawds yes. I feel you on the 6-front, sister. I need to let go more often, it actually leads to more better experiences for myself than I'd predict. So sure! Take a shot at it, and I'm betting you'll at least learn something out of the deal.

thank you, engineer!

i've jumped the cliff. things are actually going very well

one upside to the 6 mindset is that i feel lucky to be receiving his attention in the first place. so it's like... if anything should happen (and i am constantly scanning for signs, i'm trying hard to tone it down, though) - then... well, i've had a guy make my life really sweet and enjoyable for a little while. and things go back to the way they were, which was actually quite good already. at this point i can't really imagine feeling much negativity towards him, even if he did suddenly bow out. thanks to him i've been glowing all week... i feel happy about him, but i feel happy about me, too. i'm kind of hard on myself. i think having him appreciate me is making me learn to appreciate me more... i have nothing but gratitude for that.

 

[Anew Leaf]

aw thanks saturned i'm going to give it a shot! worst come to worst i bow out... but what the hell... funny that for such a "free" type i am so inhibited by my own thoughts! i think this is part of what it means to be a 6. lots of future negative thinking. in my mind it's not negative, though, just cautionary. realistic. idealistic.

well. here's to letting go?

*cheerfully launches you off cliff*

Enjoy the ride!

 

[CrystalViolet]

Hmmm, I have a moat and a brick wall, and a draw bridge. Most people get stuck in the moat. Others get to the grassy brink outside the wall, and if you are very special I will let the draw bridge down. Occasionally, I 've been blind slided by some one who's scaled the brickwall. Those rare individuals who have direct access to your heart, because some how they managed to deactivate the security system to your castle. I think that's why some times our defense seem to crumble so quickly, because you have worked out the pin number (some times with out knowing it), and you are in.

 

[Chiharu]

I don't know... a lot of people say ENFPs walls come down quickly, and I now a lot of people see me that way. But for my, by the time you've decided to push at my walls i've been watching you from the top of my tower and have already decided if you're getting in or not. I may let you push at them a bit, but i already know if you'll succeed or not. If I like you, I knock it down for you. Because of my wonky Fi, everyone usually misses all the watching and analyzing, so what was a somewhat cautious decision on my part seems sudden.

 

[Avocado]

3w4 or 4w3. i don't know which either. i'm also sp-last, though not sure which stacking first... suspect so/sx. maybe. rest of my tritype is 7w6 and 9w1.

starry i think i understand what you express about grounding. it's a slightly different sort of energy? i feel like i am a bit different from more free-spirited or zany or forceful ENFPs. i mean obviously i'm kind of loose and flowy... that's just kinda who we are... but there's something quiet in me too. something that grabs onto things and doesn't want to let go. you are more lovely light and airy...

though i do get a little weird too, lol. as soon as i realize i like someone i throw all the walls up. get quiet, nervous, hesitant, paranoid. just for me they come down very quickly if the other person reciprocates. and INTJs, dude, who the hell knows. maybe they like that we're just open about things and don't pussyfoot around, lol.

the thing that does stay hidden in me is the host of secrets that i am actually ashamed of. there are a lot of things i really don't mind sharing, but a few specific things i think maybe only 1 person in my life knows them... a few things no one but me... those are the things that i will eventually share with someone really important. but that takes years.

I am also chillaxed like that. I have that quiet miser within me as well.

 

[skylights]

I am also chillaxed like that. I have that quiet miser within me as well.

Haha, oh man, throwback to the days I thought I was probably an e3 or e4. That was a while ago.

 

[❀༺♥༻ℭ𝔞𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔞_𝔄𝔦𝔰𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤༺♥༻❀༺]

I agree with this like 100%. If I get the sense I can trust you in my gut, the walls disappear a bit faster, but overall I'm guarded. I'll still be friendly and warm, but I keep to myself at the same time. If I'm interested in you or I feel closer to you, I'll ask for help more and I confide in you. I'm also a bit more talkative and excitable. I usually try to test the waters with something small and see how the person will react, and if I feel comforted/listened to when I ask for help I'll quietly reach out again and see if I feel the same. I do think this seems more infp than enfp though. Enfps tend to break down the walls a lot faster, my little sister is very open and flirtatious compared to me. Even when she has no interest in you romantically, she will flirt. She lets people know that's just how she is though, so she doesnt lead them on, but yeah she's a lot heavier on the charm than I am lol.

 

[Red Memories]

I totally agree with this.

 

[chickpea]

 

[Abcdenfp]

It's all that initial warmth that confuses people, they mistake that for intimacy.. I see my walls more like a labyrinth..

 

[Amargith]

I actively let down my own default walls as part of the mirror effect - when i open up at the right time, he typically mirrors that.

It is kind of like standing in front of each other, gently removing an article of clothing, then looking up to him, waiting to see if he is on the same page - until we re truly naked with each other.

Its emotionally risky and intense - just the way i like it. And i tend to try and buffer so the experience is gentle and trust building.

That said, over the years ive had moments where the other party rejected me, got nervous and fled, had an emotional one night stand and got scared to never return my calls so to speak, or moments that needed to be stopped due to other circumstances, so ive learned to enjoy the moment while it lasts and be ok with flipping a switch, like it was all a dream.

At this point, i could theorethically be head over heels with someone, yet turn it off in the blink of an eye if need be with maybe some wistful longing for a week that barely costs any emotional energy to process.

It doesnt mean it wasnt real, authentic, deep or intimate - quite on the contrary. Its just that its like any muscle that you train.

And that is why i dont really use walls anymore (safe from putting people at ease with their presence) and havent in a long time - there is no need.

 

[Population: 1]

Wall? Most people can’t find the neighborhood let alone my castle.

Seriously the wall never comes down. I open the gate and raise the portcullis. You’re welcome in for now but fuck up and you’re back outside real quick. Don’t worry though, it takes a lot to fuck up. Cheat and you’re banished no exceptions. I will not betray you but I also will not except betrayal. At that point all illusions are burned away, don’t let the murder hole pour boiling oil on you on the way out. Crying begging etc all useless my hearth will have become a block of ice. I might be dying inside at that point but I won’t let you see a single tear.

 

[Abcdenfp]

Wall? Most people can’t find the neighborhood let alone my castle. Seriously the wall never comes down. I open the gate and raise the portcullis. You’re welcome in for now but fuck up and you’re back outside real quick. Don’t worry though, it takes a lot to fuck up. Cheat and you’re banished no exceptions. I will not betray you but I also will not except betrayal. At that point all illusions are burned away, don’t let the murder hole pour boiling oil on you on the way out. Crying begging etc all useless my hearth will have become a block of ice. I might be dying inside at that point but I won’t let you see a single tear.

I'm with you there... it gets brutal real quick when I feel I've been betrayed.

 

[Starry]

Wall? Most people can’t find the neighborhood let alone my castle.

Beautifully stated.

 

[Kas]

I agree with stated.

Only the phrase "building the wall" is a bit unfortunate, because it seems to me as the wall was there before. My intention is to get through it.

One of the people who know me best says I behave as fortress while being attacked.
I need a lot of time to open up. Both in friendship and romantic relationship. Sometimes something there "click" and I feel like I've knew someone for years. But generally it's months/years. Also I easily push away people under any pretext (mostly when I feel rejected).

I believe it takes a lot of patience and self-confidence of the other person.

Wall? Most people can’t find the neighborhood let alone my castle.

Well said. I can relate to.

 

[SD45T-2]

If you negotiate the minefield in the drive
And beat the dogs and cheat the cold electronic eyes
And if you make it past the shotguns in the hall
Dial the combination
Open the priest hole
And if I'm in I'll tell you

 

[Population: 1]

Must admit with all this talk of castles and walls this classic came to mind: