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  1. #1
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Default ENFPs (Or NFs) and 'Shutdown Mode'?

    I do not show strong emotions openly. I have a hard time expressing some emotions in general (anger, sadness).

    But, when the time does come for me to be very upset, or very sad, I go into 'Shutdown Mode'.

    I have been told this twice, both by thinkers. (Surprisingly?)

    Here is an example,

    I was with a bunch of friends. One of them being a very, very close friend of mine. Something happened that really upset this close friend, and therefore, I was really upset too. I had been having a very bad weekend prior to that, so I was already feeling a little emotional.. And suddenly, I just broke down and started bawling. Remember, this is RARE. My friend's pain was the tipping point.

    So, I cried for about and hour, in which multiple people (three, including my ENTJ boyfriend) tried talking to me. I refused to talk back. Not because I didn't want to, but because I just couldn't. I also absolutely hated the fact that I was crying where I could be found.

    Basically, I bowed my head to hide my face, and sobbed. Sounds lame, but that's what happened.

    The next day, my boyfriend described it as 'Ultimate Lockdown Mode'. I agreed. That is exactly what it was.

    Is this common for ENFPs? Or NFs in general? I'm assuming it has very much to do with Fi. True?

  2. #2
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    :sad:

    i know what you mean with that not being able to talk about certain stuff, but it not being because not wanting to. it sucks big time if you would want to talk about something, but just cant get the words out for no reason.

    i hope your bf at least tried to hug you
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  3. #3
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Ha, he certainly did, but being an ENTJ, I don't think he really knew what to do. I really feel bad when I get emotional around strong thinkers. They tend to get confused.

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    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    you shouldnt feel bad because other people cant handle certain things. its their problem if they get confused when you get emotional
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  5. #5
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    perhaps you're really an INFP. the situation you've just described sounds VERY introverted. usually when I shut down it's more deliberate. I'm opposed to guilt tripping people directly, but if you do it without saying anything, then they just guilt trip themselves. it's also a good way to get attention (ironically, it's better to be loud if you don't want attention and quiet if you do if you're an ENFP)

  6. #6
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    perhaps you're really an INFP. the situation you've just described sounds VERY introverted. usually when I shut down it's more deliberate. I'm opposed to guilt tripping people directly, but if you do it without saying anything, then they just guilt trip themselves. it's also a good way to get attention (ironically, it's better to be loud if you don't want attention and quiet if you do if you're an ENFP)
    I have wondered this from time to time. It's possible! I am pretty extroverted, I think, however.

  7. #7
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    In don't have a lot of experience dealing with ENFPs on a personal level.. Reactively they are unpredictable.
    My Oldest friend in real life in an ENFP.. he does not shutdown. I would say he is relentless and he will shut down when he dies.. and even then, I am not so sure.

    Another person went a 6 day tirade against me because I slept through a time I said I would meet her. Then after I told her to fuck off 300 times in those 6 days after explaining and saying sorry 100 times... she shutdown.
    But not before she presented me some very strange version of events of what had just happened , and despite the the mountain of evidence in my In Box and stuff.. she just denied the whole thing ever happened.. Astounding.

    More recently an ENFP became a bit friendly with me. Approached me , was very nice , and wanted my help or advice. Then over night just stopped talking to me. Gave me a reasonable reason. But something still seemed a bit not right.. anyway.. she shutdown.. at least on me.

    SO 3 ENFPs and 3 different results. I would say shutdown is not a common ENFP trait.. but I think anyone and everyone has a shutdown point.

  8. #8
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Sounds like a good ole' fashioned ENFP - Fi shut down to me.

    Fi is an introverted function. ENFP's try to protect their Fi and don't express it very readily. I find that when I feel an emotional charge about anything, I tend to not express it all. And, if I am so upset that I can't help but express it (e.g., involuntary crying) I'm in agony. I don't want anyone to approach me until I can get my emotions under control again.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  9. #9
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    Sounds like a good ole' fashioned ENFP - Fi shut down to me.

    Fi is an introverted function. ENFP's try to protect their Fi and don't express it very readily. I find that when I feel an emotional charge about anything, I tend to not express it all. And, if I am so upset that I can't help but express it (e.g., involuntary crying) I'm in agony. I don't want anyone to approach me until I can get my emotions under control again.
    Yes! This is exactly how I feel as well, you've described it perfectly.

  10. #10
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I can almost identify with it.. It really depends on the emotion though. I don't cave in on anger or joy a lot, but I've always had a problem crying in front of people (but so do many others). Even as a kid, I'd go somewhere else and didn't really want to be consoled. I remember times when someone wanted to track me down it would make feel worse and I'd put my head down and not say anything. "Shutdown mode". It could last for awhile too. That said, I have no problems hiding certain types of tears. Good tears, especially. It's more when I'm inspired about something, and I'm not ashamed of that. Sometimes it's funny: I shed a tear last night actually looking at Joan Jett videos of all things. "Bad Reputation". There was a youtube comment I liked.

    I'm 15 years old and I've been listening to Joan Jett for as long as I can remember. 31 years ago, this woman wrote a song about me, 16 years before I was even born. Joan Jett understands me more than all of my friends [Which isn't that many] and my parents. Her music has helped me realize who I am. After watching The Runaways, I completely doubted my sexuality. It doesn't matter whether I'm gay, straight, or even bisexual because I am who I am and I don't give a damn about my bad reputation.

    I thought the kid was badass.

    Anyways, as for myself (in terms of Fi), I think I strike some balance between pride and wanting to work out issues alone, and then not really hiding any beliefs or sentiments or things that anger me. Maybe I'm like a lot of people.

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