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  1. #11
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    I've always had issues with jealousy. I got jealous when my younger sister got married because she is several years younger than me. Somehow, I thought I was suppposed to be the first one. I'm jealous when people get promotions, especially when they already had a job to begin with that I would have liked to have. I've never been promoted in my life and there are people younger than me in their 20's getting promotions. I'm jealous when others get to travel the world and I'm lucky to be able to afford a trip into the next state. I'm jealous of other peoples' parents. Like they understood their children more and weren't so overprotective of them and had more faith in their abilities. I'm jealous of people who are seemingly more well-rounded than I am. I'm good at academic type stuff but not a whole lot else. Other people are just as good at academic type stuff in addition to sports, music, and art. It hardly seems fair. I know there's no sense of entitlement and life isn't always fair but I've always had this strong need for a sense of equalness.

    What usually pulls me out of this funk is thinking about people who obviously have it way worse than me. For example, someone in a ravished third-world country who has never had access to sanitary conditions, where disease and war are rampant, as well as illiteracy. Then I start feeling guilty for having it as good as I do.
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  2. #12
    Senor Membrane
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    It's not often that I feel jealous, but the times I do, it annoys me a lot because I can't trust my decision making at all. I'm not jealous about anything else than relationships, really. Well, it seems they are just about the only things that matter to me, in a way. And the times I've gotten jealous is when I have allowed myself to think like I can make demands on someone, or expect them to be something. There seems to be this threshold after which all the rules change. Not cool. Today it is ok for you to do anything you want, tomorrow I expect that whatever you do is somehow concentrated around me. I need to kick this habit. Maybe deep down I don't trust people.

  3. #13
    Senior Member chachamaru's Avatar
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    I get jealous over the stupidest things. But I reason myself out of it.

    They deserve the spotlight.
    She is prettier.
    He is more interesting.

    So I just swallow it. And try to fade into the background.

    Trying to make the jealous feelings go away. They are mostly gone, but it's still kinda there. Vaguely.
    a cat is fine too

  4. #14
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chachamaru View Post
    I get jealous over the stupidest things. But I reason myself out of it.

    They deserve the spotlight.
    She is prettier.
    He is more interesting.

    So I just swallow it. And try to fade into the background.

    Trying to make the jealous feelings go away. They are mostly gone, but it's still kinda there. Vaguely.
    Exactly! That is exactly what I've done since I've been older, tried to REASON or rationalize my neg emotions. To you think this is some Te coming out, or do you think it's Fi trying to push it down?
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  5. #15
    Senior Member chachamaru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    Exactly! That is exactly what I've done since I've been older, tried to REASON or rationalize my neg emotions. To you think this is some Te coming out, or do you think it's Fi trying to push it down?
    Both? I think it's irrational that I/we feel this way... this jealous...
    It's an attempt at maturity and not getting our feelings hurt, perhaps.
    a cat is fine too

  6. #16
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chachamaru View Post
    I get jealous over the stupidest things. But I reason myself out of it.

    They deserve the spotlight.
    She is prettier.
    He is more interesting.

    So I just swallow it. And try to fade into the background.

    Trying to make the jealous feelings go away. They are mostly gone, but it's still kinda there. Vaguely.
    Those last two in particular have been issues for me as well. I used to not care that much that others were prettier than I am. Now I have taken alot of notice to that depressing fact. I guess its partly because I'm not in a relationship and I'm starting to realize that looks may not be so important in the long run but they do tend to be important for initially being attracted to someone. And you have to have that initial attraction for a relationship to even begin. Looking at all your pictures kind of saddens me because I look so frumpy compared to most of you on here. Sure, people tend to just post their best photos and avoid posting the bad ones but even so my better photos are probably no better or even worse than what some of you would consider bad photos. On the other hand, I feel like others deserve to be prettier or more attractive because they probably put more time into making sure they looking attractive. I don't put alot of time into it and my priorities tend to lie elsewhere but I still get some twinge of jealousy anyway.

    I also get jealous of others' "interestingness." Other people seem more unique- in a good sort of way. They are able to express that individuality without turning people away. I also get jealous of the good ideas that other people have. Some of the things people come up with, I wouldn't have thought of that in a million years.
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  7. #17
    Senior Member chachamaru's Avatar
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    Doesn't it... feel good to talk about it?
    a cat is fine too

  8. #18
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuchIrony View Post
    Those last two in particular have been issues for me as well. I used to not care that much that others were prettier than I am. Now I have taken alot of notice to that depressing fact. I guess its partly because I'm not in a relationship and I'm starting to realize that looks may not be so important in the long run but they do tend to be important for initially being attracted to someone. And you have to have that initial attraction for a relationship to even begin. Looking at all your pictures kind of saddens me because I look so frumpy compared to most of you on here. Sure, people tend to just post their best photos and avoid posting the bad ones but even so my better photos are probably no better or even worse than what some of you would consider bad photos. On the other hand, I feel like others deserve to be prettier or more attractive because they probably put more time into making sure they looking attractive. I don't put alot of time into it and my priorities tend to lie elsewhere but I still get some twinge of jealousy anyway.

    I also get jealous of others' "interestingness." Other people seem more unique- in a good sort of way. They are able to express that individuality without turning people away. I also get jealous of the good ideas that other people have. Some of the things people come up with, I wouldn't have thought of that in a million years.
    I wouldn't get down on yourself about being frumpy. Ya I do see alot of super hot women meet guys quick, AND lose them quick =P Infact, I am a bit put off by really gorgeous people. I know its kind of shitty, but I SWEAR that it seems like those really really cute people have had relations come so easy to them growing up, and its made them a bit one-dimensional. The rest of us have had to work on other qualities (more important qualities) like being nice, funny, smart, a good person, etc.

    I am a TOTAL smartass with my boyfriend sometimes. If we go out and he notices some glamorous bombshell with huge fake boobs, platinum blonde hair, and a waist that probably hasn't eaten in 2 years.. I will always say something like.. "Look at the poor women.. how sad, SAD SAD SAD, it must be terrible to be so disfigured!" And he will look at me like WHAT? And I will say, "FOr christ sakes LOOK AT HER! She is about to topple over with those double D's on a that stick body, and her skin! OMG her skin.. soo overly tanned she looks like a baseball mit! Ya, I feel bad for that one." and then i will laugh and he will see that I'm really being a sarcastic goofball. I know for a fact that my goofball-ness is TOTALLY what he loves in me.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  9. #19
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chachamaru View Post
    Doesn't it... feel good to talk about it?
    Yes, even though I know its mostly counterproductive and doesn't really solve much of anything.

    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    I wouldn't get down on yourself about being frumpy. Ya I do see alot of super hot women meet guys quick, AND lose them quick =P Infact, I am a bit put off by really gorgeous people. I know its kind of shitty, but I SWEAR that it seems like those really really cute people have had relations come so easy to them growing up, and its made them a bit one-dimensional. The rest of us have had to work on other qualities (more important qualities) like being nice, funny, smart, a good person, etc.
    Not every super gorgeous person is one-dimensional. I see several photos of people on this forum I'd classify as super gorgeous and they are great people character wise.
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  10. #20
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuchIrony View Post
    Yes, even though I know its mostly counterproductive and doesn't really solve much of anything.



    Not every super gorgeous person is one-dimensional. I see several photos of people on this forum I'd classify as super gorgeous and they are great people character wise.
    This is true. And ofcourse no one can really be one-dimensional, but I do occasionally come across people that rely on their appearance more than personality IRL. I didn't mean to reference anyone here.. I don't even look at other peoples pics on here lol.

    I think a *key* factor in keeping jealousy at bay is to realize that no one really has it all. Atleast thats how I try to reason with myself. In highschool I had a few friends that people tended to be jealous of.. because they were very pretty, smart, social girls. From the outside, no one knew that one of them had an eating disorder, one of them was sexually abused by her dad, one of them had a crazy alcoholic mother. I know for a fact that all of these friends would have given much if not all of their sparkley charisma away to not have had to go through these things.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

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