[Fi] Things that suck about being an N dom

[Orangey]

What'd I do? I'm strictly textbook, bud.

Not you!

The irony is that you just made this thread 10x more serious than it deserved to be just by using the word "modicum".

Well fuck me.

 

[Arclight]

Hmmm....I don't agree about INFJs at all, but ENFJs are pretty damn persuasive.

I still believe Ners are the best at reading and influencing others.

Well considering I am still in shock from an INFJ manipulating me and spinning reality to the point I was half insane over 16 months ago.. I would say.. You have no idea.. Who can manipulate the ENFJ??.. the INFJ.. that means they are damn Good.

 

[Glycerine]

But wouldn't that also deal more w/ intelligence? Maybe she was just smarter than you and it had little to do w/ N dom. I have always thought to myself, watch out for the people who are smart AND have good social skills. It's a scary combo.... yikes.

 

[Arclight]

But wouldn't that also deal more w/ intelligence? Maybe she was just smarter than you and it had little to do w/ N dom. I have always thought to myself, watch out for the people who are smart AND have good social skills. It's a scary combo.... yikes.

She was charming and I was in love.. I don't think she is smarter than me.. But she might be.. she is certainly intelligent.. I manipulated her as well.. Love makes people crazy... what can I say??

 

[Glycerine]

ahhhh I got you.

 

[skylights]

imo, any ExFP + ExFJ team is terrifying in terms of convincing people. it's like good cop bad cop.

IxFxs are sneakier, but they can be quite convincing themselves.

 

[Elfboy]

Elfboy is a good Kid.. he is prolly just at that stage where he has discovered he has a brain. There is novelty in this feeling, and he most likely confuses the novelty as to meaning, he is the 1st person to discover they have a brain, as opposed to the novelty being totally personal.
The first time people are in love, the same sort of thing happens.

Don't y'all remember when you felt like this??

I appreciate the sentiment if you were trying to stick up for me, but your condescension is not appreciated. if this was intended as an insult, please be more forthright and specific with it in the future.

 

[Arclight]

I appreciate the sentiment if you were trying to stick up for me, but your condescension is not appreciated. if this was intended as an insult, please be more forthright and specific with it in the future.

Either way.. I am certain I was being direct. It's up to you to decide how you feel about it and ultimately, what you do with it.

 

[Lauren]

She was charming and I was in love.. I don't think she is smarter than me.. But she might be.. she is certainly intelligent.. I manipulated her as well.. Love makes people crazy... what can I say??

I can't tell you how familiar this is to me. As far as being driven insane, we both drove each other insane, a case of who will spill the feelings first or jump into each other's arms (which we did in the beginning when it was innocent and unguarded). Only love could cause such inner havoc and make my head spin. We didn't manipulate each other (perhaps just a few times in that crazy phase) but when you feel it's mutual but one or the other is afraid to say something: absolutely crazy making. He's smart and we can read each other's minds almost to the point where no words are needed, which, wonderful though it is, can make you climb a wall (how many ways to say "crazy" Words are definitely needed (or action) just to take the thing out of the clouds. Sorry to digress...

 

[Noon]

I appreciate the sentiment if you were trying to stick up for me, but your condescension is not appreciated. if this was intended as an insult, please be more forthright and specific with it in the future.

While we're at it, I'd like to make it clear that I'm not trying to be insulting or condescending...not sure exactly how I'm actually coming across though (connecting my latest comment with my last one in the SJ thread makes it seem all the more hostile ). But I genuinely thought it (the comment about lifestyle and expensiveness) was funny (because of the irony mostly; ime many young Ss tend to want to spend a lot of money on things like clothes and hair and games and etc, which ends up imo being more expensive than I think is really necessary). Anyway, sorry if I've offended you.

 

[Arclight]

While we're at it, I'd like to make it clear that I'm not trying to be insulting or condescending...not sure exactly how I'm actually coming across though (connecting my latest comment with my last one in the SJ thread makes it seem all the more hostile ). But I genuinely thought it (the comment about lifestyle and expensiveness) was funny (because of the irony mostly; ime many young Ss tend to want to spend a lot of money on things like clothes and hair and games and etc, which ends up imo being more expensive than I think is really necessary). Anyway, sorry if I've offended you.

The reason I agreed with this..Is that INXXs are known as minimalists and can be quite frugal and even miserly. Since that covers half the N spectrum there is definitely fallacy in the statement that Ns are more likely to live an expensive lifestyle than Ss.
perhaps ENXXs.

 

[Arclight]

I can't tell you how familiar this is to me. As far as being driven insane, we both drove each other insane, a case of who will spill the feelings first or jump into each other's arms (which we did in the beginning when it was innocent and unguarded). Only love could cause such inner havoc and make my head spin. We didn't manipulate each other (perhaps just a few times in that crazy phase) but when you feel it's mutual but one or the other is afraid to say something: absolutely crazy making. He's smart and we can read each other's minds almost to the point where no words are needed, which, wonderful though it is, can make you climb a wall (how many ways to say "crazy" Words are definitely needed (or action) just to take the thing out of the clouds. Sorry to digress...

It was a worthy digression.. Makes me realize the lost potential, which is kind of sad to think about sometimes.. Maybe it will teach me something about taking care of what I value.

 

[Thessaly]

I agree on the "reading" part. Ne tries entertaining and juggling different perspectives, but the influencing is more casual, not as orchestrating or linear like it'd have to be with manipulation. They're not ones to drive a point in specific directions like Si and Ni, but just toss about different possibilities for people (if other people are involved, that is). Infectious kind of (via their convictions or enthusiasm or something), but not exactly affecting.

Okay, well then, if you are trying to manipulate with a specific long term goal Ni probably takes the cake. HOWEVER, if you are just trying to charm the pants off of someone with your spontaneous wit and fascinating random dialogue that ties into your prey's deepest desires and insecurities Ne cannot be trumped.

 

[FakePlasticAlice]

HOWEVER, if you are just trying to charm the pants off of someone with your spontaneous wit and fascinating random dialogue that ties into your prey's deepest desires and insecurities Ne cannot be trumped.

DING DING DING!!!

 

[KDude]

No, I wouldn't put that past Ne either. Fair enough. I find myself not wanting to get under anyone's skin like that though. I had an ENFJ boss, wonderful woman.. but I could see that she was kind of wonderful to everyone. One day, I found out a secret about her. I wanted to test her with it. I was risking whatever friendship there was by bringing it up, but I had to do it.. I wanted to know if she could be real (not to say ENFJs can't be.. I'm just talking about her). Basically, my reasoning was that it'd help me trust a lot of other things she'd say.. because she almost seemed too good to be true and I was getting pulled in by it. Needless to say, I saw her kind of slightly jerk when I mentioned it. It turned out OK though.

Sometimes I want to cut off all pretensions and see if people can be real. If I'm going to be sneaky, I generally don't want anything other than truth. Not more manipulation. That steamrolls into some kind of mess where everyone's full of shit and lying to each other.

 

[skylights]

HOWEVER, if you are just trying to charm the pants off of someone with your spontaneous wit and fascinating random dialogue that ties into your prey's deepest desires and insecurities Ne cannot be trumped.

Ne and Fi, guilty as charged

I had an ENFJ boss, wonderful woman.. but I could see that she was kind of wonderful to everyone.[...] I wanted to know if she could be real (not to say ENFJs can't be.. I'm just talking about her). Basically, my reasoning was that it'd help me trust a lot of other things she'd say.. because she almost seemed too good to be true and I was getting pulled in by it.

yes, i understand this. i have felt a similar way with an ENFJ - wonderful wonderful person but so much more complex and fascinating and wonderful inside than what you're allowed to see outside his "walls" - though that veneer is really quite "perfect" - intelligent, friendly, competent, and successful. admittedly it's very satisfying to finally get permission from the other person to see through that exterior, since Fe and Ni is a very hard combination to earn intimacy and trust with... plus a person's flaws make them more tangible, more accessible, more utterly beautifully human.

in addition to liking him that much more, i also feel like i can trust him more now that i understand him inside a bit better. because otherwise (Ne?)Fi keeps picking up on the disconnect between internal and external, and you know there's a difference, you just don't know what's behind the walls. it could be - probably is - generous and well-intended, a little insecure, a little critical, generally a lovely bright complex person who is distancing their internal self for the sake of self-protection. but then there's the off chance that it could be a person who is using you to get what they want, and who is distancing their internal self so you do not see their real motives.

 

[Elfboy]

While we're at it, I'd like to make it clear that I'm not trying to be insulting or condescending...not sure exactly how I'm actually coming across though (connecting my latest comment with my last one in the SJ thread makes it seem all the more hostile ). But I genuinely thought it (the comment about lifestyle and expensiveness) was funny (because of the irony mostly; ime many young Ss tend to want to spend a lot of money on things like clothes and hair and games and etc, which ends up imo being more expensive than I think is really necessary). Anyway, sorry if I've offended you.

you haven't offended me